I am terrified of having a child!!!?

Question

I am 6 months pregnant and I just watched a movie about giving birth and it looked like the woman was in a lot of pain! My husband said that I should have the baby the normal way but I feel like I will die if I do!

Answer 1

1st off don't watch those shows. They only make you more scared and they are usually the worst scenarios. I watched them and drove myself crazy and then my own labor was nothing like that. You can do it the normal way.....just don't watch those shows. I had 2 girls 1 all natural and the second i got the epi after 18 hours. No complications.

Answer 2

Although a woman LOOKS like she's in a lot of pain, it may not be so. And if she's in a hospital setting, she has the CHOICE of using pain meds...ranging from local anesthetics to a full epidural. The only pain meds I had with my first son was two shots of Demoral and locals. I had an epidural with my second son. Comparing the two, I actually preferred the Demoral, because when you have an epidural, you can't feel what your body is doing. I actually had to be told when I had a contraction so I could push with it. I felt disconnected from my lower body.

Take Lamaze. I can't stress it enough. The relaxation techniques you learn help you to recognize what your body is telling you, what the baby is doing, and what you need to do to relax enough to let your body do its job properly. If you fight it, it hurts more.

Most people avoid telling you exactly how it feels for whatever reason. It's hard to explain, but I'll do my best to share what I felt as the baby progressed. (Both births felt the same, for the most part.)

Initially, there's a tightening across the top and down the sides of the uterus. This is similar to Braxton Hicks contractions, but gradually get stronger, more painful (but tolerable with relaxation techniques), and are well-timed and get closer together. This is the force that pushes the baby out. Contrary to what I thought before birth, this is what hurts, not necessarily at the vaginal opening. You'll be in and out of the bathroom constantly. The hormone your body makes during labor, called Relaxin, loosens everything up to prepare for birth, including intestinal and bladder muscles. Nobody told me about this part...ugh.

As the baby moves down, you will feel him entering the birth canal. It doesn't really hurt, just a TON of pressure, like the biggest bowel movement you've ever had. This is when you feel "squirmy", like you can't just breathe and relax anymore. This is the urge to push you've heard about. The doc or midwife will tell you when the baby is low enough to push. If you push while the baby is in the canal but not to the opening, you will wear yourself out. Just before they give you the okay to push, you may get an epesiotomy and/or local anesthetics. Once you start pushing, it's just a matter of time before baby arrives. It can take anywhere from a minute or two to not being able to deliver and having a C-section. This is the point that each delivery is unique. But at the end of it all, you'll have your baby in your arms, and the pain fades into the background. You quite literally will forget how bad it was. I never believed this when I heard it, but it's very true.

Good luck to you, and in a few months this will all be past. I know you want to watch deliveries on TV, but they will not teach you what you want to know. Just be prepared through Lamaze and your doctor/midwife visits, and you will do fine. And if it hurts, ask for meds. There's NOTHING wrong with that. God Bless...

Answer 3

Even if you have the baby the normal way, it is common practice to have an epidural. That will numb the region that hurts the most and will effect the baby in NO WAY whatsoever. Child birth IS painful, but the beauty is, your system shuts down the memory cycle of giving birth and you will quickly forget the pain and remembering just how painful it was will seem to evade you. Also, at six months, panic is not an option, you are on a river heading for a waterfall, sit back and brace yourself for the experience.

Answer 4

Don't worry, if you want pain medication TAKE IT, don't let anyone else determine how you should feel.

I was TERRIFIED of having my baby. I was having nightmares. Honestly it was all worse in my mind then when it actually happened. I was induced, I did have an epidural but I didn't get it right away because the contractions weren't that bad and I could walk around to feel better.

Once they got bad I got the epidural and took a nap. They turned it down slightly so that I could feel to push, I had pressure but NO pain.

Try not to watch all those movies, I swear they only show the woman who scream. I didn't scream at all, I did grunt a bit when I was pushing but I wasn't in pain.
Good luck

Answer 5

Yes, it does hurt but that's normal for giving birth, however, once you have the baby in your arms and see his/her little face - the thought of the pain just goes away. If you intend on having the baby the 'normal' way then you should be taking Lamaze classes. If you're scared of pain then tell your doctor to give you drugs - but just remember this one thing, the drugs they give you will also effect the baby.
I also went through this with my first born. My husband was in the military so I was required to see a 'Child Birth' film, sponsored by the Red Cross. When I saw the woman in pain - I thought to myself 'no one told me this was going to hurt'. When I told the Red Cross person this - she looked at me and said "since you're here (and very pregnant) it's too late to be afraid now!" When I spoke with my doctor - he suggested a 'caudal'. It did slow the birth down a bit but I felt nothing from my waste down. I did give birth to my daughter without anything. It did hurt but once I saw her - the pain vanished. To this day, I stll don't like pain but I have 3 great children and 4 great grand daughters.

Answer 6

It all depends on your tolerance to pain. For some women, it's worse than others. And it's usually worse if you a) let your fear take over and b) keep yourself immobile. By getting up and walking around, sitting on the birthing ball and possibly being in the water (hot tub or taking a shower) it might make the pain more bearable for you.

You can get an epi, but sometimes they can stall labor and lead to a higher incidence of c-section. They can also not take (meaning you will get no anethesia or very spotty places where you still feel pain), they can affect your ability to push and walk around if it's turned up too high, and give you headaches (pretty rare, I think). There are several alternatives like Stadol (which I haven't heard good things about) and Nubain, which I had in labor with my second child 4 months ago. It didn't take the pain away but wsa enough to let me relax in between contractions (I had gone into labor in the middle of the night and was exhausted).

One idea is to hire a doula - someone who can assist you in the birth to give you support. I had one for my most recent birth and she was really good in helping me concentrate and practice proper breathing techniques. I knew I wanted to try and get as far as possible without pain meds and while I did request the NUbain, I had no epidural. Doulas can also help you avoid a c-section because they can distract you from the pain oftentimes and give you emotional and mental support to help get you through it.

Hypnobirthing might be an option. I've heard good things about it although by the time I decided to have a vaginal birth (I had a VBAC) it was too late. I think you need to have at least 6-8 weeks to prepare, but they teach you about breathing and relaxation and focusing techniques to help you get through.

As far as having the baby 'the normal way' as opposed to something else, I assume you mean having a c-section instead? Thankfully most doctors won't do one 'just because' as they are not without risks. And they are no picnic to recover from, since you generally feel drugged out and abnormal while you're trying to enjoy your new baby. If you have older children it makes it harder to take care of them, too. I'm so glad I avoided another section and had a vaginal birth this time.

You have plenty of time to prepare - try not to think about all those stupid videos and shows you watch. The image of the screaming woman doesn't help - but then again, it might not always be a sign of pain. I screamed like hell in labor but not so much because of the pain, just because it was hard work! :)

Good luck, I'm sure you'll do great.

Answer 7

I felt the same way when I was pregnant with my first...you need to research your options carefully and discuss with your doctor pain relief and take your hubby with you so that he is informed as well. Know all the pros and cons and in the end you have to do what is right for YOU...I hate to say but your hubby is not the one having the baby YOU are...I am 7 months pregnant with baby number six....I had the first 3 w/o pain relief for various reasons...the next two with epidurals and what a relief...I was so able to relax that the labor actually went very quickly as I wasn't "fighting" against the pain. It also makes for a more controlled birth...Research your options well, and it's your body, do what you think is best and lots of luck!!!

Answer 8

If those movies scare you, don't watch them! Having a baby is a wonderful experience and there are things you can do to ease the pain (epidural for example, though I never had one, but my daughter is not a pain lover and she has had 3). Just always remember the pain is temporary, it will go away after you child is born, and just look at the end result. A beautiful baby depending on you and your husband for warmth and love. You love you parents, you love your husband, but I promise you, you never know true love until you have had a child.

Answer 9

A good diet and exercise is the best I can tell you how to help over come most pain. It is a work out and those who know what it is like to do a marathon will know what it is like to give birth. Also the more fit you are the more quickly you overcome the birth...go to the classes that help you understand better and have a better support system for everyone is going through the same thing you are--birthing.
You will be surprised that it is over so quickly-- what is a few hours to compare to your bundle of joy. You will love being a mother

Answer 10

Believe me when I say that every situation is different. I know what your husband said, but with all due respect, it's your body, you have a say in it too. If you don't want to go through so much pain, maybe you could ask for at least a little bit of medication. Take the epidural for example, you don't have to take the whole thing. Ask them for half a dosage. If I were you, I'd talk to him about it again. Let him know how terrified you are of the pain. Good luck to you! :)

Answer 11

Every pregnancy, labor and birth are unique. One's pain tolerance is not the same for everyone. You may find that you are stronger than you think, just remember, God made women to give birth, not men. Feel privileged to experience such a miracle. If you can focus, deep breath and follow advice, your on the road to a safe, healthy delivery. There's is no other experience to compare it to. Indulge in the moment, as hard as it might be, and know that YOU are the reason for the birth of your child.

Good luck. It's really not as scary as it may have looked.