As girls, my friends and I plan things, outings, visits, girl's nights out, etc... My boyfriends' friends never plan anything. All their things are very impromptu, proposed the day before at best. Because I want to give him his guy time, I'm usually supportive of this and have given up COUNTLESS plans with him in the past just because the guys decided to hang. The thing is, I think he's taking this for granted. He came back from a long trip and we haven't done anything special. His buddies have been whisking him off to hang out for the past few days, and I've only gotten moments with him. Basically, he knows that if he comes and tells me "sorry about this, but the guys wanna watch a fball game tonight", he KNOWS that I would let him, just because I want to be supportive. I don't want to break up with him at all, and I know he doesn't either. He's just oblivious to the fact that I am basically getting stood up! How can I make him understand? We've talked but it's not getting through.
2007-01-13 03:18:18 · 8 answers · asked by reba 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
So now every time I plan something with him, like maybe we can go to a movie tomorrow night? He's like hmm maybe but idk what the guys are doing. Don't tell me stuff like "he's not into you" or whatever, because we are engaged and he's just taking this relationship for granted bc he KNOWS I won't break up with him...
2007-01-13 03:19:13 · update #1
Sit him down, and tell him how you feel. Tell him you want more time with him, and you guys should plan something like a week ahead, then when the guys ask him, he should say he has plans with you.
Good luck.
2007-01-13 03:23:47 · answer #1 · answered by aaronwinner 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
We teach others how they can treat us. He knows he doesn't have to consider you much in this area, because you have allowed it. You keep saying, "I want to be supportive" but is this something that is going to change after marriage? You can't be a doormat just until a guy marries you and then demand/expect change. Do you want this treatment after you become his wife and have his children (it will get worse then)?
You need more respect....from yourself first, and then him. If a guy allowed me to walk all over him for the sake of the relationship....I would eventually lose interest. Expect better treatment and it will come. You can still be supportive....just not at your own expense!
2007-01-13 03:33:46 · answer #2 · answered by Lalalalalala 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you've answered your own question; your engaged to him, he takes you for granted because he knows you won't break up with him. You've become a doormat for him to walk all over. Just take the problem you have with him now and multiply it by 1,000. That is what your married life will be like. Alone at home with the kids while he is still out kickin' it with his buds. Believe it. Get other interests as you will need them.
2007-01-13 03:27:45 · answer #3 · answered by sashali 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Take about a week and anytime he wants to do something with his pals, suggest that if he's not going you'll take another guy. If he loves you he will start to rethink his actions and probably go with you just to prevent from losing you. If he gets angry and says something abuot that, then explain that's how you feel when your time with him is constantly replaced with "guy-time". And if he says that's fine then you might want to suggest having a long talk about how you're feeling, because he may not be as into as you think if he's not jealous of other guys. [Not trying to say that he'll do this, but if he does .. ]
2007-01-13 03:30:29 · answer #4 · answered by Emiliza 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You ask a question and then tell us how to answer. That is your problem. You only see what you want to see and hear what you want to hear. It is obvious that you are not a priority in his life. The "engagement" is a joke or a way to secure constant sex. You are not being supportive, you are being a doormat. The longer you lie there the more he will walk all over you. Wonderful material for a marriage, NOT! Considering how you feel about hearing the truth.. Ok, you didn't see or hear this from me, but...HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU!
2007-01-13 03:27:47 · answer #5 · answered by amazingly intelligent 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
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2016-12-12 10:31:01 · answer #6 · answered by Erika 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had the same problem i thought i was being a cool girlfriend and giving him his guy space but things got worse. he would do stuff with the guys then if he had time hangout with me and in your case its alil different because your engaged. but look hes taking you for granted and things aren't gonna get any better if you stay with him. try to reconnect again but if he doesnt come around then break up
2007-01-13 03:42:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't call him, don't talk to him, and don't go out with him for a couple weeks, once he realize what your mad about, it may get thru.
2007-01-13 03:24:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋