What's your favourite nun joke?

Question

NOT including the one about two nuns in the bath (You know, "Where's the soap? Yes it does rather").

Answer 1

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven, where they are met at the Pearly Gates by St.Peter. He says "Ladies, you all led such wonderful lives, that I'm granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you want to be." The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren;" and *poof* she's gone. The second nun says, "I want to be Madonna;" and *poof* she's gone. The third nun says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini;" St.Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he says. "Sara Pipalini;" replies the nun. St. Peter shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry, but that name just doesn't ring a bell." The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter. He reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says.... "No sister, this says the 'Sahara Pipeline' was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months!"

Answer 2

Why do they always go around in twos?
So that one nun can see that the other nun gets nun. lol

Answer 3

A group of nuns went to see the penguin movie and since they were dressed for the part, they tapped danced out of the cinema.
One was more over-weight than most and would call, "Groovy" once too often. Instead of "Happy Feet", she earned the title, "Hippy Fat".

Spoonerisms@work

Answer 4

Four nuns were standing in line at the gates of heaven. Peter asks the first if she has ever sinned. "Well, once I looked at a man's penis," she said. "Put some of this holy water on your eyes and you may enter heaven," Peter told her. Peter then asked the second nun if she had ever sinned. "Well, once I held a man's penis," she replied. "Put your hand in this holy water and you may enter heaven," he said. Just then the fourth nun pushed ahead of the third nun. Peter asked her, "Why did you push ahead in line?" She said, "Because I want to gargle before she sits in it!"

Answer 5

go on to the three nuns joke in this section and thats my nun joke

Answer 6

2 italian nuns are visiting america. "Do u know people here eat 'dogs'?" said one. "Yes, and its suppose to be something they luv" says the other.
So they decide to try some 'dogs'. They see some being sold near a park and decide to sit and have. As one unwraps her, she giggles and looks at the other one and asks "hehehe which part did u get?"

Answer 7

i hope you are not going to make a Habit of these Nun jokes

Answer 8

Okay, in a convent. All the nuns are on their way to prayer. One of the nuns spots a condom on the floor.
"Merciful Lord! A condom!" she cries. Ninety-nine nuns gasp in shock, one nun giggles.
"It's been used!" she yelled. Ninety-nine nuns gasp in shock, one nun giggles.
"There's a hole in it!" she exclaimed. One nun gasps in shock, ninety-nine giggle.

(it is a better joke when you use the different voices and actions)

Answer 9

A nun was taking a bath when her doorbell rang. "Who is it?" she called out.
"Blind man," came the reply.
So the nun gets out of the tub and opens the door, naked, since he's a blind man.
"Nice t!ts," the man says, "now where should I put these blinds?"

Answer 10

Mother Superior used to massage the Abbot every morning. One morning she couldn't make it and asked a young novice to go in her place. An hour later the Mother Superior meets the novice and asks her how she got on. "Fine' says the novice "Ilet him open my gate of Heaven with his key to Heaven' The Mother Superior says "Bloody cheek he told me it was Gabriels horn and I had to blow it'!!