There's this guy I like. He likes me, too. We're both in relationships and both unhappy, except we care for the people we're with.
I've been through more than enough hard times with my present boyfriend (cheating, lying, possessiveness..the list goes on). I love him, but I don't think I deserve this. I'm not even allowed to have friends without problems arising.
The thing is...I don't know if this guy (who likes me) is serious. I don't date that much (I've only been in two relationships) I don't want to jump into another relationship but I don't want to be his jump-off either (someone he calls when he needs some). He seems genuine, but who knows?
My bf & I have agreed that this isn't working, we've tried to fix things, but it never works. I don't want to give up on him, but it's taking a toll on me, btw, we've been together for about 2 yrs.
Anyways, I 'm really confused. I haven't had any "freedom" for a long time & he won't change (he's a traditionalist).What should I do
2007-01-13 02:50:09 · 7 answers · asked by p00mkin 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
live life for yourself and stay friends with both of them. you are the only one who can make yourself happy. stop looking for love. it will find u. good lluck
2007-01-13 02:55:28 · answer #1 · answered by aspen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will need to break down your dilemma into two different questions. Let me give you an example of what I mean- Someone stole my car should I buy a new car? No you should call the police and report the theft! Then figure out what to do for a ride.
The question of leaving your current boyfriend should be dealt with regardles of any other relationship opportunity. With a list like you mentioned in your question there should be no question about what you need to do. Before you leave him take precautions for securing your safety, he sounds like the kind of guy who could strongly respond to losing a possession.
With the first question answered, now consider what you want your future to be. Get a vision for your life instead of just bouncing around. Tell the guy at work, if he's still interested, that you're going to take at least six months to get your focus. If he's really interested in your heart, he will give you the space. He could probably use the time to get his own life together.
Finally, take some serious time and effort to get your life focused. That means counseling, if you can afford it, or at least start reading books on dating, relationships and marriage. That also means getting in touch with yourself as a human being, not just an object. From there, step back easy into dating and don't move in with someone unless you are sure in your heart and soul that this is a person you could joyfully spend the rest of your life with. If you have confusion about it just ask someone in your life who loves you for their opinion and then listen!
2007-01-13 11:16:31 · answer #2 · answered by Blood 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well firstly, if you dont have freedom with the guy you are with then thats not very fair. A relationship these days is all about equality. So maybe he isnt very good for you, whose to say you cant stay good close friends. As for this other guy maybe you should talk to him and see what he really thinks. But if you dont want to jump into anything then maybe its good to stay single for a while after being in a relationship for so long.
2007-01-13 10:54:54 · answer #3 · answered by AiR 2 Breathe™ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off why would you care or have any enduring feelings for someone who cheats, lies, and is possessive? You need to get out of that situation and stay out.
Second, because your unsure about your friends feelings, just continue to be his friend and if he is as unhappy as you think he is, he just might move on to you who has been noting but a good supportive friend.
2007-01-13 11:01:36 · answer #4 · answered by Snicklefritz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make yourself happy for once. Don't stay in a relatioship for the sake of him. Be with who makes you happy.
2007-01-13 10:59:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
break up with him... tell him your not happy anymore... anyone deserves to be happy dont we? and if he really cares for you, he will let you go... no bitterness
2007-01-13 10:55:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't change anyone but yourself.............
2007-01-13 10:54:25 · answer #7 · answered by troble # one? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋