I know this girl, R last year back in march in my college. We were in the same intake. She was a bright student back in high school, proven by the straight As she has obtained in major examinations. Till college, her passion for her education has not fade. R is hardworking, a top student in the college, friendly and pretty of course. She’s my type of girl as we share a lot of things in common. music, food, style, the way we thinks so much that it scares me at timed. Through all this years, I have never met anyone like her before. chicks aren't rare here, so at first I thought I had a normal infatuation towards her, which seems to be normal for a guy towards such girl with such 'quality'. As time flies, the feeling I had for grown deeper and more serious. I have thought about telling her, but the problem is, she already has a bf. A bf that from me and my friends’ p.o.v, is a terrible bf. He flirts with lots girls (that made him rather notorious back in high school) and rarely brings her out. He could even tell her that he flirted with other girls. Knowing that only gives me more courage to tell her how I really feel about her. She takes me as her good friend, but at times, I feel as if she’s giving me hints. Yea, that’s even more tempting. Why wouldn’t I confess to her since everything is on my side? Cause I don’t want to risk our friendship for the sake of this risky confession. If I was being misunderstanding all the time and confess, she might be afraid of me and stay away from me. That, will only breaks my heart into thousands of millions pieces.
The whole college knows that we are good friends and some people even think that we are a couple. I admit that the misunderstanding that we are a couple can give me a twinge of joy at times. Her bf even has dissatisfaction towards me for being so close to his gf. Though we are just good friends, but what we does at times certainly look more intimate. Things those are too close for friends to do and not so far for lovers to do (in our young Chinese educated penangite community (ycepc))(#no hugging, kissing) But then, she remains protective most of the times. (She even rejected my invitation to go for a dinner at night during her birthday). Friends have been asking so much if we are only friends and we have even grown tired declining.
I am an average student, unlike her, she strives to be the best, and I strive to be average. That’s one gap which I feel is the hardest to narrow it. The beauty and the beast type of relationship is something that we (ycepc) thinks it’s hardly gonna happen, though it’s possible. Mostly, it’s the 2 good-looking opposite sex friends that creates the rumors and speculations. I have gotten use with the gap I have with her now, so is she. That’s how we are so close together.. as friends.
She applied to a university in Hong Kong which her parents claimed that it’s the best for her as it’s not as far and as expensive as those in UK or US. The news hit me with a thought of not having her beside me in the future, which then trigger a terrible depressing sorrow within me. That in turns gives me more courage to confess, as I heard in movies of how they define stupidity as “loving someone so much but do not dare to tell them how you really feel about them.” So right now, I am turning for more help and advice in any possible ways. Should I tell her or should I forget her? And I just CAN’T afford having to put our friendship in risk. Our friendship is one of the last things I want to gamble with.
2007-01-13 02:32:34 · 23 answers · asked by Aaron A 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
thanks for your advises! i REALLY do appreciate them!
2007-01-13 03:14:38 · update #1
*advices
sorry, typo.
2007-01-13 03:16:01 · update #2
now i am thinking. what if her bf do really love her? (feels like a jerk of the century suddenly)
2007-01-13 03:26:47 · update #3
*the
sorry again.
2007-01-13 03:27:32 · update #4
tell her how you feel..it will be the best for both of you....it sounds like she may like you back. you may be the reason she needs to dump her bf...she probably knows what he is like as well...so tell her..and if she doesnt like you back then it doesnt matter...tell her you still want to keep your friendship going and that you needed to let her know how you felt because you thought it was the best thing for both of you...if she doesnt feel the same and if your friendship is a strong as you say it is then you dont need to worry about ruining it do you?
Just tell her how you feel...she's probably waiting for you to tell her...girls aren't dumb we can sense when a guy likes us...TELL HER! you guys sound like your meant to be together...good luck!
2007-01-13 02:55:31 · answer #1 · answered by <3Princess<3 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If she moves to Hong Kong her relationship with her boyfriend will probaly end.If you can I would go to the school in Hong Kong too.After being there for a little while tell her how you feel.You'll feel much better once you get it out in the open.Maybe she's guarded now because she has a boyfriend.She might really like you but won't go to dinner alone because she has a boyfriend and doesn't think its right.Whatever you decide good luck.
2007-01-13 02:41:12 · answer #2 · answered by katzgto67 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell her how you feel and see how things work out from there: she'll respect you and maybe realise you're more right for her than her bf.
One thing tho: if she likes the bad boy type then you'll probably have to start being a bit like that yourself to keep her interested. Don't be too much of a friend!
2007-01-13 04:06:42 · answer #3 · answered by charlie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You gotta choose, weigh the possible gains versus the loss of her friendship, then if you decide to tell her how you feel just do it. But don't bad mouth the bf because that'll look bad on you. Tell her how you'd treat her in such a ways that just happen to 'coincide' with how the bf treats her badly....
2007-01-13 03:20:36 · answer #4 · answered by T M 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
im like an agony aunt(im a woman by the way). if i was you i'd tell her how you feel. it wont wreck your friendship, she'll be flattered and she'll also know that if she has a prob with anything you'll always be there for her. its more secure for her to know how you feel anyway.
she might turn you down because of this boyfriend but if anyone likes someone that much, you'd fight for her- any bruise is worth getting her! she'll always know how you feel so if anything was going to happen it'd be easier for her. dont rush things and spend a bit of time with her.
why not ask her to go bowling or pics or something? if it might make any of you feel uncomfortable in any way- ask a few more mates to go with you. any time with her is better than no time.
2007-01-13 02:49:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Of course her boyfriend feels threatened by you, you want to take his girlfriend. Girls are not stupid, they know what they are doing. She feels comfortable with you and by her KNOWING that you want her she can use that as leverage toward her boyfriend. She knows how her boyfriend feels toward you and uses that as a bit of jealousy to try to keep her boyfriend in line because she has shown him that another guy is just around the corner if she so chooses. Shame on her for allowing you to go through this just so she can play her little game with her boyfriend. Find some quality friends and if you want a date in the future, try someone who is single, it makes for a lot less trouble down the road.
2007-01-13 02:43:06 · answer #6 · answered by meansawbean 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Check this out! What is her email and i will send her the link to this question because all you really have to do instead of typing it here......tell her. Do not be afraid. Just think if you let her go without trying one day you will be old man with wife and kids and unhappy and you will think to yourself maybe i let someone special go when i was yonger because i was straight up ***** to come up to her and tell her how i feel. Please do us alllll a favor and tell a girl how you feel. Because good guy always wins. Havent you seen any of those teenager/college student movies that they have on tv nowadays with your story script. :) Good luck sweety!!! I hope you do get together and stay happy.
2007-01-13 02:42:19 · answer #7 · answered by BK thang 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are going to have to make a choice to be happy! Tell her how you feel and live with the consequences. Or don't tell her and never have knowing of what could have been. I think you will know when the time is right. I am in the same situation now and it hurts!
2007-01-13 02:43:56 · answer #8 · answered by Adam 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if you want more answers i would shorten your question, being honest it is a hard question and nobody can tell you what to do.... but life is too short and if you are sure you feel this way maybe you should tell her but if she is going for so long what will this achieve unless you are willing for a long distance relationship? you cold do it when ye are both tipsy then the next morning just forget about it if it goes wrong, but dont get too drunk cause you want it to mean something you will Regret it if you dont tell her but easier said then done:), well proballyconfused you more but hope it helps...
2007-01-13 02:47:21 · answer #9 · answered by shaz 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
omg that is so cute before she goes 2 hong kong tell her how u feel n ask ur parents if u can go, jk. who cares bout her boy friend if u like her that much forget bout him. an spill ur guts out dont say it slow tell her straight up just say i love u n if she accepts it try to visit her in the summer or spring break. if she doesnt except it just tell her to forget bout it, n ask her if u can stay good friends with her
wish best of luck
2007-01-13 02:44:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋