am i asking for too much???

Question

ive just recently got back in touch with my mum. i have no family support and friends whod babysit for me and havent been out and spent time with my husband of 2yrs since my kids have been born. they are 2yrs and 9mths. im 19years old.
thing is my mum and dad- split used to torture me when i was little as i liked to go out and have fun with mates. my dad used to beat me. i have recently found out that my sis of 16 is doing all the things i wasnt allowed to do such as going to pubs with friends, shopping, sex life, etc. shes spoilt and ,my dad gives her money. ive just also found out that i had money saved up for when i was 18 but never got. instead hes bought my sis a new wardrobe and anew scooter.
hes just bought a new car and given my sis his old one even though i need one and she cant drive. would it be fair of me to ask my mum to look after kids for weekend while my hubby and me go to hotel to enjoy 2nd anniversery also to ask my dad for money as need it for dep for mortgage?

Answer 1

Yes, you were old enough to have the kid now take care of them,I never went out at all till my son was 8, had people willing to sit but didn't trust anyone with my child but us,and when i did go out that first time came home to find a ambulance, almost killed my hubby,then after learning it wasn't his fault calmed down,and didn't go out again without children...Grow up..

Answer 2

Since they had nothing to offer to u when u were a kid, it's useless asking and mourning for what u deserved.U have to let it go or u would just compare and it would eat up inside.Be there for your parents if they need u because that's your duty.But in return don't ask for anything.If they are unfair and still don't realise it...u cant make them to do so.Its sad that u had been treated unfairly.It's not much if u ask your parents to do all that when u go to hotel to enjoy your second anniversary.But i don't think it would be wise.They might not be too happy with the situation.life is beautiful.keep smiling...

Answer 3

It sucks that your parents have obviously chosen their favorite, but dumping your kids on them and spending money on a hotel is no way to get them on your good side. If you want more respect from them, show them that you can handle things by yourself. Choose a less expensive activity to do for your anniversary, like a nice dinner at home, and put the kids to bed early.

It's not bad to ask for help once in a while, but don't be too dependent, it's a difficult habit to break.

Answer 4

can u really trust your mum and dad? that's up 2 u. if u can then go ahead and ask. but even if u have the slightest doubt then don't let them. if u can find sum1 u trust u can let them babysit. but u have 2 completely trust them. if u don't your entire anniversary will b ruined with u worrying. your child comes first all the time so if u can't find no1 then either take them with u or cancel the trip. believe me, you'll feel better than if u gave your kids 2 sum1 u don't trust and go through the holiday. good luck and follow your instincts!

Answer 5

Yes; you sound like a jealous older sister. You are now the parent and it's time to grow up and live for your own family. If you need money, earn it. If you want to spend a weekend with your husband, hire a babysitter or nanny that you trust, not a family member that you already resent. You are trying to cause a fight; get over your childhood and focus on the upbringing of your children.

Answer 6

Sweetie, this is a tough spot to be in.
I wouldn't trust a person with my kids, that I have not had a solid relationship with.
And see, it's awful that there's this unfairness...
but once we become parents, we are not daddy's little girl anymore.
I don't your situation, but he may be brewing over hurts, and spoiling her jsut to get even.
My father may have done that.
But I was the only one.
Long sotry, but I've been the young mom.
Somehow, you've got to find people you can trust.

Answer 7

No asking never hurts. Maybe he has changed sence you left. I think letting your mom take the kids for a weekend is a great idea for you. Believe me I would if I lived near my parents and Im a mom of 3. Plus it will give your mom a chance to get to know her grand kids.

Answer 8

i agree with you, its usually natural for grandparents to want to babysit their grand children, i think your mum n dad are being selfish and its definitely not fair what they are doing with you and your sister. have you tried talking too them, maybe let them know how they are making you feel. maybe your dads making up for the mistakes he made with you by spoiling your sister, but hes going the wrong way about it if he is, cant really give you any advice on what to do other than speak to them. AND JUST A COMMENT FOR MIKE WHO WROTE Y.A.W.N , why bother answering the question if your not gonna take it seriously, why don't you go to your bed and have some ZzzzZZ's and stop being so annoying, ****!!!

Answer 9

I believe that since your parents are soo willing to treat your sister like a spoiled brat then they should at least give you a chance to enjoy yourself with your hubby and watch your children. If i were you i would treat your parents just as they have treated you. Although if i were you i wouldnt trust them around my children from the way they treated you. I'd sleep on that one.

Answer 10

Omg! what you said was verry sad. Your dad use to beat u. Thats so sad. And your sister...do your parent know she does all that stuff?
If not then tell them. You dont want her to grow up like that. And I cant beive belive that u never got that amout of money. Thats so stupid! I dont think your asking for anything. The stuff you said are junt notfair.I cant belive that they would not babay sit you kids jutst for the weekendand its for your anniversery. no you are NOT asking for too much. You go right up to them and tell them who you feel they might never change........