How do you gain confidence?

Question

As a sophomore in highschool, still working on defining myself, I find it hard to express how I feel and just be who I am. I am self-conscious, shy, and hard on myself. Truly I am enthusiastic, caring, and funny, but I come off as an ackward, stupid little girl. This tendency has only caused trouble for me. My crush has only seen this fake side of me and so is not interested at all. I do not have many friends and find it difficult to open up.
Another factor is my voice. I cannot talk very loud compared to other people. My voice cracks and it sounds much higher and sweeter than I mean it to be. How does one improve one`s speaking voice?
Any help on these problems would be greatly appreciated.

Answer 1

- Attend Bible studies.

Answer 2

Wow, this is where I was a few years ago (except for the whole 'girl' thing). I can only share what my experience was, and I honestly don't know if it's right for you. For me it was a conscious decision that really, I don't care what anyone thinks about me, I'm just going to be myself. See the thing about it is that while you are putting on the fake side of you, people can only see that side of you. But when you be yourself, and people love you because of who you really are, all of a sudden it's like, 'Wow, I am lovable.' One of the best things I ever did was found some good friends and played ten questions with them. In ten questions you can ask the person any ten questions you want to. The first few times you play, everyone tries to be polite, but if you keep at it, you will find out some pretty deep stuff about each other. It all comes down to being honest with yourself. If you can do this, you will realise who really loves you for the real you, and I reckon this will do wonders for your self esteem and your ability to open up and be real. It sure did for me!

Answer 3

Voice?Lie on the floor and place a book on your tummy a book just under your rib cage. Practice breathing through your diaphragm, and not the upper part of your lungs. You should be able to see the book rise with each breath if you are doing it right. Do 3 sets of 5 reps of these deep breaths a day. Also, work on breathing like that normally. A deep breath in your diaphragm before you speak works well too, if you slowly let out the air as you are speaking. Also, drink Throat Coat tea by Traditional Medicinals.

Confidence? Just smile genuinely. Tell yourself in the morning in the mirror something positive. But watch out, it has to be something you genuinely believe. Then try to do it more often. Compliment yourself often for things you do well, or for painting your pretty nails, etc. Pretty soon, you won't think about the things you need to improve, or atleast, you won't see them as negatively.

Good luck!

Answer 4

The first step to building confidence, in my opinion, is finding out what you truly want. Over the next week, whenever you feel down, depressed, insecure, or frustrated, start making a list of all the things you want. They can be little things, like, "I want a glass of water" or big things, like "I want to ride around the entire world in a hot air baloon." Just write down everything and don't censor yourself. Then after a week, and even throughout the week, look at the list and decide which of those things you can do something about. Then start doing it! Some of the things might require little steps first, but if you really want it, then you can do it. As you start seeing that you can do things that make you happy, your confidence will grow!

Oh, and as for your voice... I don't like my voice, either, so I just try to have other qualities to make up for that.

Answer 5

Confidence is gained by experience. Go out there, do things, meet people, have experiences---and always remember that most people you meet have the same problem. Most of us walk around so obsessed with ourselves that we don't notice half the things that go on. You should also observe people. When you really see how other people operate, you'll gain confidence just knowing you're not alone.

As for your speaking voice, slow down, relax, and breathe deeply as you talk.

Answer 6

You learn how to practice confidence with experience. Go out with friends and experience. And learn that everything is going to be okay. And as for your voice, you can deepen it by taking deep breaths as you are talking and slowly letting the air out. It's called "diaphragm breathing" It can cause a more calm, soothing voice.

Answer 7

Run around naked!!! I know it sounds crazy but I had this same problem when I was in high school, after I got out, I went to a nudist colony with some friends and started going every weekend and it really helped my confidence level.

Answer 8

i have a problem with my voice too .. or at least that what i thought till i found out the truth, when you are hard on your self, you let the others to be harder on you..... you know what i mean...?
you have to start looking for the good stuff about you, and work on showing them ... then the bad stuff are nothing , every body has bad stuff ... just be you, don't be shy, don't get confused.. just be you
believe me I've been like this for long enough till i just stopped carrying about what people say and start working on me without being hard
Good luck

Answer 9

You actually have answered many of your own questions.You know that are a smart caring person.Be yourself and you will have a wealth of friend's.As far as your voice goes that is your voice that god gave you be proud of it.Count your blessing's you could have been born deaf and not had a voice at all.

Answer 10

you are probably afraid of rejection/failure which is common for highschool kids...your gonna have to just try and be more open and not be afraid to say stupid stuff i guess..goodluck you'll be fine :D