i left my job to come to switzerland live w my swiss by for a year. after 5 months he says he is not sure what he feels anymore. i taking a course that ends in 5 months. i dont know if i should finish the course or go back home to brasil. my heart is broken. we were in a long distance relationship for 3 years before i came.
he has been in therapy for 4 months, trying to figure out things from his past, old ghosts. i feel alienated, very sad. he says he doesnt have all the warmth and caring i need to receive. what should i do?
2007-01-13 00:21:39 · 11 answers · asked by dear 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Stand by him, you have been (mentally if not physically) together for 3 years and I am guessing by the way you speak of him that you do love him. He has his demons and hopefully he is not just playing you. I would offer to go to therapy with him, say you want to support him, if he refuses then I guess it is the end for you. Hopefully he will accept your help and your love and be a better person for it.
No-matter what, finish the course, it is only 5 months and in them 5 months he may realise what the problem is and fix it, even if he doesn't then you have a qualification under your belt for your future. Try to get a little social out there, the Swiss are nice people as a rule and they accept people for who they are. Join a few social clubs, make friends and enjoy your adventure.
2007-01-13 00:30:22 · answer #1 · answered by dave w 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well hopefully you are making your own money. I would finish the course but perhaps get a job and find your own place to live. Then at the end of the course move back home. But before leaving see if he has found what he wants.
2007-01-13 00:26:16 · answer #2 · answered by prettyblueeyes101010 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't crowd him or force yourself upon him. Do not rush it. Sometimes everything goes good and then all of a sudden, he changes his mind, or he's not sure anymore and its because of the pressure.
If a Man goes out on a first date and without knowing what would prevail, she asks him to her apartment and she willingly offers herself.
Then before he leaves the apartment, he notices that she is not offering any numbers, or will we see each other again or whatever and now he feels threatened that perhaps he was used to just satisfy her needs.
This is how you handle a situation like that. Don't pressure them into answers.
"thank you for a most lovely night , I enjoyed that very much. I'll see you when the Roosters Crows".
She is baffled because he never asked for her number and get this she is also pissed off that he didn't ask for it becasue she wanted to have the chance to say no. He never gave her the opportunity to say no and now her plan has backfired.
Guess who calls up???
Right!!
She does with all intentions to see him again why???
Because he showed graciousness and the fact that he could of cared less if he seen her again or not and that is what sparked it.
The pusher in a realtionship is bound to jump to deep into deep water before he knows it.
I always say chill. be cool what will be will be and if not. Who cares right?
The weak ones are they that fall in love having sex one night. His brain is shattered. He's an easy target for a big upset.
How did she get his number???
She looked it up in the phone book?
She already knew?
She called information?
She called his work and bluffed to get it?
Women will do anything to get what they want no matter what it takes. The fact is she got it and called him up and wanted to see him again and he asked how she got his number and she replies, I have my ways.
Does he question any further??? Absolutely not!!
ITs ON!!
2007-01-13 00:35:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you spoken to his therapist to see what encouraging role you can part-take? Perhaps he's just going thru so much that he can't deal with two souls right now (his and yours). Finish your course and give him time and space. When he's done going thru his emotional troubles, he may be ready to live a life with you....or not. But the best thing you can do right now is not make him feel bad for how you feel. Just be there for him when he needs you but don't be around him until he calls for you.
2007-01-13 00:27:36 · answer #4 · answered by Zoila 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Finish up your course then leave. Tell him this is your plan and he's off the hook. Just having the pressure off might make him feel better and you can at least be good friends. You're sad now but you'll get over it.
2007-01-13 00:26:45 · answer #5 · answered by Cookie Preston 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I KNOW YOU ARE DEEPLY HURT. NOW, AFTER THE SITUATION TURNED TO BE NOT WHAT YOU EXPECTED, IT'S TIME TO THINK ABOUT YOURSELF. IS THAT COURSE IMPORTANT FOR YOU? IF YES, TELL YOUR BF THAT AS SOON AS THE COURSE ENDS, YOU WILL LEAVE BUT NOT EARLIER. AFTER ALL, YOU LEFT YOUR COUNTRY, YOUR FRIENDS AND YOUR FAMILY, EVEN YOUR JOB, JUST TO BE WITH HIM!!!!!!!! THE LEAST HE CAN DO IS THAT!!!!! ESPECIALLY AFTER HE CLAIMS THAT YOU DESERVE BETTER!!!! DON'T BE SAD, AT LEAST YOU FOUND OUT HOW THE THINGS REALLY ARE! WHAT IF YOU CONTINUED LONG-DISTANCE AND GOT MARRIED AND HE FOUND OUT THEN, AFTER 5 MONTHS OF MARRIAGE?????
TRUST ME, IT COULD BE A LOT WORSE! JUST FINISH YOUR COURSE AND LEAVE! YOU HAVE TE RIGHT TO BE HAPPY AND SEARCH FOR HAPPINESS!
2007-01-13 00:33:14 · answer #6 · answered by Stella 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oi Amiguinha,
Adorei as respostas...
Deu pra perceber claramente a diferença entre os americanos e os latinos. Todos falam pra vc continuar o curso. Eu sou muito latina, passional e na primeira briguinha com ele ia acabar chutando o balde!!
Força e continue segurando as pontas por aÃ! Everything is gonna be all right!
bjs!!
2007-01-13 04:48:06 · answer #7 · answered by Princesa Sunny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give him time. if you respect and love him then understand that he needs some space to figure things out. i think it could still work out for you both.
he will respect you more for respecting him.
and don't get in another long-distance relationship...you should be more familiar with the person and not waste so much time over nothing......
2007-01-13 00:30:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
get your own place and finnish the course.....give the swiss space to sort his pathetic self....good luck
2007-01-13 00:26:30 · answer #9 · answered by sayasyoulike 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh,...I'm so sorry.......but anyway, i think that you should finish your course. just because you bf was a total jerk doesn't mean you can't still do things(such as finish your courses)
2007-01-13 00:29:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋