well i've been dating this guy for awhile and everytime i'm just sitting there all happley quite then he says what wrong but i tell him nothing is wrong but he always keeps asking in the end i'm in not so happy mode and he always blames him self but it was him now when i say that he always punches the wall and makes his hand bleed he says it just to cool down but i'm really upset that he is doing that to him self because of me
2007-01-12 22:56:39 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sit down with him and tell him this. Tell him that him punching the wall isn't acceptable and you won't tolerate it in your relationship. And then tell him that sometimes you can sit there with him happily and quiet just enjoying being with him. You know a relationship is forever when you can both sit with each other and feel comfortable in each other's silence.
He might feel as though when you two first got together you two were always talking and there was never a quiet moment, but a few months in, obviously that's changed because you both have less things to say. Maybe he feels as though he's going to lose you but you need to reassure him that that isn't the case.
You do need to sit down with him and tell him how you feel because you'll just get annoyed with the same routine and then your relationship will end. Relationships need work, and that involves communication.
I hope everything goes well.
2007-01-12 23:04:58 · answer #1 · answered by susanradford18 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me that your boyfriend may be a bit insecure, and that maybe he is feeling the silence is due to you being upset with him or about him, or possibly the silence is awkward to him and he has to fill it it with something so he continually asks trying to get some sort of conversation from you. The part that is most concerning is the punching the wall and making his hand bleed when you tell him the truth that he has finally upset you by continually asking you when nothing was wrong. This is a sign of aggression and manipulation, It honestly has nothing to do with anything you have done other than to manipulate you. He sounds either immature, or exceptionally manipulative. I'm not Saying you should leave the relationship because I don't know all the details, but Girl I am telling You from what you have described "warning flags went flying high"...take a closer look at how healthy this relationship truly is for you.
2007-01-12 23:20:05 · answer #2 · answered by fleaflopper 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's not just a bad habit .... that's a warning sign.
He needs help ... professionally .... and just saying I'm sorry will not fix this issue. This is a problem that only gets worse with time ... and you're already making his excuses "he's doing that because of me" it's his anger and frustration, you said you were happy and nothing was wrong ... he's putting the issue on you !!!
2007-01-12 23:17:34 · answer #3 · answered by Chele 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
been there and it don't stop at the wall next it will be you then then he will say sorry it will never happen again then it does and it will be the same thing just tell him you cant deal with his issues of punching things and leave him it may be hard at first but he will realize that he is wrong in his actions
2007-01-12 23:09:49 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy needs some anger management girl. He seems really sensitive. Assure him by being more affectionate and maybe more sincere in the way you say that thing's are okay..& maybe you should ask him if there's something wrong with him, if everything's okay ?
2007-01-12 23:18:53 · answer #5 · answered by Emz K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like he is abusive i hope you don't plan on marrying this guy, When he ask you something be quick just tell him you were thinking about getting up and dusting or cleaning i sure wouldn't say i was thinking about how great you are because he sounds like a total loser.
2007-01-12 23:07:03 · answer #6 · answered by Mary O 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time tell him that you were thinking happy thoughts. If he ask you like what...then tell him what you like about him. Say...I was just thinking about how cute your dimples are. Or say...I was thinking about how last week we did this and it was so much fun. It will throw him off track and still be a positive thing. Depsite what most guys say...they do like to hear things like that.
2007-01-12 23:02:18 · answer #7 · answered by mysweetluvie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think he just wants to make sure youre happy and atleast hes letting out his frustration on the wall and not you if he did it to you i would be very worried . some people can just need reassurance that there making you happy as some people can be insecure i think he just needs help in knowing hes making you happy :) goodluck:)
2007-01-12 23:03:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my husband always asked whats wrong I say nothing, he trys to get it out of me usually I just hrt (pain) but going off hitting the wall one day the wall might just be your face teeth who knows tell him to get help or your getting out of the relationship Good luck--------
2007-01-12 23:03:34 · answer #9 · answered by kidrockfan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think there's something wrong with your bf's behaviour. Guess you have to find it out. Self inflicting harm is not good.
2007-01-12 23:03:41 · answer #10 · answered by angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋