my sister's second son died in her tummy on his 35th week. she doesn't talk much, she just tells us she's fine. she doesnt show us she's hurting or crying (too much pride???). when we talk about the incident, she would change the topic or just be quiet as if she cant hear us. whenever she's alone, she's somewhat in deep thoughts, if asked what she's thinking about, she would answer nothing. her ob gyne explained that it was not her fault, etc but it seems that its not getting through....
2007-01-12 22:44:00 · 12 answers · asked by sharon 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Hi there!!
It is very painful to lose a child, unborn or born.Each person is unique, and moarns differently, she is very blessed to have a loving a caring sister like you .How long ago did this situation happen? If it was recently,she could be in a sort of shock, disbelief.
You could find out if she can walk in form of excercise and ask her to join you in your daily walks,
Avoid talking about the miscarrage, if she brings up the subject then fine, but I would not bring it up alone, at least not for now.
Does she have pets? if she doesn't I would get her one, maybe a cute puppy or kitten.
Both of you could join an art class, or a pottery class, something different that will take your sisters mind off the situation she went through
Listen to her when she talks, do not judge her or minimize her feelings, be there for her and let her know verbally she can count on you.
Accompany her to the doctors appointments , if she goes alone. Give her support
I really do not think your sister has pride, she is very hurt.She must be confussed. Was this her first child? How old is your sister? Was she in a hospital setting or doctors office when the situation happened or did it happen in the house?
Each person reacts so different to any given situation , and as you know the different situations going on in their life as well, their age, backround, emotional support, ect.. will have an impact on their reaction and time of recovery.
Try to avoid talking about your sisters miscarriage. Give her love and support, and time , this will help her heal.
Have faith in God, read the bible with her, pray with her.
she might be bitter and not want to do anything with God now. Dont; judge her, be there for her and let her know she can count on you.
If you can, treat her to a day spa for one of those package deals. She will love it, maybe you could get a two for one special.
I pray to God that your sister recovers from this life experience that is very painful. Thank God she has you.
May you find the right words to speak to her
may she feel the embrace of our lord comfort her in this time of need
may she find serentiy and peace within
love light and peace
2007-01-12 23:06:45 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Write her a letter she can read alone, so she doesn't have to show emotions in front of you or anyone else if she doesn't want to. She has to be hurting, that is a traumatizing thing to go thorough, so if she tells you she's not...she really is, she just might be so hurt that it hurts to talk about it. Tell her in the letter that you love her, and that it's not her fault, that these things happen. Tell her that you are there for her if she ever needs to talk, and if she doesn't want to talk, that's ok too. Just make her feel loved, that's the best thing you can do.
Good luck, and I'm sorry to hear of her loss.
2007-01-12 22:52:15 · answer #2 · answered by Huliganjetta 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To paraphrase Ghandi, be the peace she desires to be sure in the international. She is in all probability no longer feeling a lot peace immediately. do no longer bypass to her with the theory that you'll be able to help, or restoration some thing. you won't be able to. even as my 7 day old nephew died, I washed my sister-in-regulation's dishes, I made go back and forth arrangements, and that i hugged her and cried which includes her. What helped her? the actual incontrovertible truth that i did not advise suing the docs, writing editorial letters hostile to the health facility, or that she could concentration on her residing son. people kept hunting for her an outlet for her discomfort. She mandatory to locate peace to counteract it. i grow to be, unknowingly, that peace for her. Be that peace for Frenzy. And enable her recognize that i'm questioning about her, wishing her convenience and peace, and love her for the guy she is. Many advantages to all of those plagued by using such loss. it is the 2d question I truly have responded immediately on the inability of a baby. that's a tragic international immediately.
2016-10-30 23:53:59 · answer #3 · answered by pour 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not a case of pride. Everybody has the own way of dealing with pain of this nature. Let her handle it how she best knows how. When I lost my brother I was the same. six months down the line I was inconsolable and only then grieved. I think it was when I realised that he Definitely was not coming through the door again. Be there for her, and only talk about it when she wants to. Of course it was not her fault. It takes a long time to heal, be patient with her.
2007-01-12 23:55:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone deals with grief in their own way. If she isn't ready to talk about it yet, don't force her. This is a time when a hug and just letting her know that you are there when she is ready (maybe event without words) is the best medicine. She needs to grieve for the loss of the baby in whatever way works for her.
2007-01-12 22:51:43 · answer #5 · answered by lyonharted 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You all have to let her grieve her own way...I can not believe someone, a family member would bring this subject up to her...It probably hurts her more that you all bring it up. Leave her alone, you cant force her to do anything....In her way she is nicely trying to tell you to shut up...Quit bring up the topic before she has no contact with any of you....Never do this with someone who has had someone die, in tummy or out....
2007-01-13 00:20:57 · answer #6 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be there for her. When and if she wants to talk she will let you know. Just keep in mind..she not only lost her child but all the dreams she had for him/her. Its a heavy loss. I have been there. My sister would just sit next to me and watch tv with me. Sometimes we would just sit next to each other and not say a thing. Just having someone with me was enough. Eventually it got better and I got to a point I wanted to talk. She may never open up and you need to be ok with it. Just stop bringing it up everytime you see her. Let her be the guide. Best of luck, prayers and blessings coming your way for both of you.
2007-01-12 22:52:27 · answer #7 · answered by mysweetluvie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am truly sorry to here something as that, you can just try to talk to her, perhaps if she went to a counseler, it seems as if she is grieving and it maybe difficult for you to say anything to her she here's you but she don't. I would just be there for her when she is ready to talk she will,just don't push her.
2007-01-12 22:51:26 · answer #8 · answered by Mary O 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think she doesnt want to show her sadness to people around her. is she the kind who will cry herself to bed, without no one seeing it?
i think the best way is to write her a letter, saying what you want to say to her. maybe write something like her son does not want to see her mother sad and wants her mother to continue living happily... and also say that the family are always behind her forever!!!
2007-01-12 23:52:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wish i could hear but there is no talking
2007-01-12 22:49:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋