I kicked out my live in boyfriend, he said he was going to a bar, left at 6pm and never came home, no call, explanation, nothing. I am pregnant. He has done this before, about once a month. I love him, he loves me, hes my best friend, but he has serious honesty issues, addictions, and impulsive behaviors. Hes not a bad person, he just does hurtful bad things without regard to other people, Im not sure he has control over the things he does. I don't want to raise a baby this way, but I don't want to do it alone either. He came home to his things packed up and could just not understand why I was mad or why I would not talk to him. I just asked him "Isn't it obvious" weve been through this before. I am not okay with this sort of behavior and since its ongoing, obviously it's not going to change. Is this something I should have just lived with or accepted or did I do the right thing? I miss him already, but I don't need the stress and pain he causes me. He can be wonderful most times.
2007-01-12 21:21:34 · 6 answers · asked by alexandria1_1999 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
And when he does this I have found that he is often hanging out at his ex girlfriends apartment (with whom he still works with)getting high all night, other times he has blatantly lied about his whereabouts and to this day I have no clue, which is why I did not talk to him, as talking to him is often pointless as he has honesty issues and he ends up talking in circles. I was out late a few times (until 2:30) and this did not sit well with him, he has a double standard, I can't even imagine what he would have done had I been the one to regularly not come home at all without calls. I do not mind if he goes out with his friends, what I mind is when he doesnt come home at all and I end up worrying like crazy and not knowing what is going on. I never kept him on a leash.
2007-01-12 22:07:45 · update #1
You did the right thing. There's not just you to think about, there's your baby too, and that kind of behaviour is destructive for a child. I'm sorry you had to lose him. It's a choice. Your baby or your guy. Please, please don't give up your baby. Abortion is WRONG. A child is a gift, even unplanned. You don't have to raise the baby alone. Would your parents help you? Relatives? His parents? There's always someone there, even if it doesn't seem that way. As to your guy... you should have explained, and told him you loved him, but that he couldn't stay with you if he didn't change, even if you'd said it before. And you should stay... in contact with him? I'm not too sure really, but he's the father of your baby, and ending it all in anger is not a good idea. I hope it all works out for you, not many people would have had the courage to do what you did.
2007-01-12 21:33:13 · answer #1 · answered by Viv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, you figured the best course of action was to kick him out, lock, stock and barrel without explaining or discussing your reasons? Isn't that exactly what you accused him of not doing before he stayed out? I'm sure he's explained away his behavior before, why didn't you use his previous reasons, seeing as how you never kicked him out afterwards.
If the reasons to keep him didn't outweigh your need to be alone with a baby on the way, then you made the right decision; otherwise, you just shot yourself in the foot, because either way(if you get him back or you live alone from now on) you've set a precedent for him not to trust YOU anymore. Good luck
2007-01-12 21:30:43 · answer #2 · answered by wetdreamdiver 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should have talk to him. blokes do go off quite often by them selves for no reason i also know quite a lot of women that do that to everybody needs their space so i think talk to him no and ask him if he is willing to help raise the baby and take things from there
2007-01-12 21:37:40 · answer #3 · answered by megan p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
looks like my toddler daddy! he left me whilst i exchange into 7 months pregnant and on bedrest so i had to place in mattress and be depressed and not pass everywhere it sucked! and that i comprehend it looks like ou won't in any respect recover from it yet you will i promise. he mentioned he exchange into going to bethere for the toddler and blah blah blah welll long tale short he doesnt comprehend that being a dad is a fulltime element and he places himself first so he isnt allowed to work out his son till he can strengthen up. i comprehend it sucs that he's asserting he isglad he's achieved with you yet you basically could settle for it and circulate on and situation approximately elevating your toddler. i promise as quickly as your toddler comes you wont have time to be unhappy over that piece of ****!! what doesnt kill you basically makes you greater proper!!!!
2016-12-16 03:31:45 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him he can come back if he changes his habit if not "hit the road Jack". Simple as that. Neither you nor your baby need a man who isn't dependable.
2007-01-12 21:33:19 · answer #5 · answered by Lone Silver Wolf 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boys are aloud to go off every now n then without reason, just as us girls should be too! stop being so hard on him he needs his personal time too just like you do! no offence but girls like you make me churn!
2007-01-12 21:29:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋