should I go?

Question

It's a miserable life living with my husband's family. No privacy, his parents involve everything even my 4 months daughter, they think they got the power to be on the husband's side. My husband told me he'll never move out. His mom is 46 and dad 53 they're working but he said he'll take care of them now and forever. I can see he doesn't love me enough to do anything against his parents. Move out alone? who will take care of my daughter when I go to work. I'm with her 24/7 now. Go back to my mom is north california? I can't depend on her forever. Can I apply for housing and child care? will I be approved fast for the programs? thank u

I ask him to move out and live close to them but he still said no.

thank u all for ur replies I feel much better reading all ur opinions. I understand it's only bcause he loves his family but what about our own family? His parents tell me what to do with my daughter "u should feed her whatever we eat to have her get used to it, do this, do that....". I hear it everyday. My daughter is 4 months only

Answer 1

wow - how much longer can you put up with that? Go to your mum's. I know you said you can't rely on her forever, but it will only be for a short time until you get things sorted for yourself and your daughter. These people need to know exactly where they stand, and it's not as high on the list as they like to think. They need a reality check. You are fighting a losing battle with your partner - he's made it clear where his priorities lie. His parents must have done a really good job of controlling him if he still wont leave their house - don't let them do the same to you and your daughter!!

Answer 2

I am not sure what state you live in, but you can apply for housing, but since you have a job you may not be approved, depending on your income they might have a sliding scale. You can also get child care vouchers, but here at least they have a long wait for those also! Maybe you can look for a friend to have as a room mate and maybe change your schedule so she could baby sit for you! You may want to try applying for cash from the welfare office, but like I said since you have a job it may be a bit difficult to get approved! You could put an ad in the paper or a privately owned day care may work with you. You could even try talking to your husband about finding a place to live very close to his parents! His parents arent even that old at all they are probaly pretty dependent upon themselves, why does he need to take care of them? And if he knows that you will leave if he will not change isnt his child and wife more important? Hope myinfo was useful good luck I wish you the best

Answer 3

If he won't cut the apron strings (I am guessing he's a mommy's boy?), you should do a trial separation if you can't stand living with all of them. What are they doing that is driving you nuts? Are they messing up your marriage? How long has this gone on? Has it gotten worse since you had the baby? Is his parents the only reason you want to leave him?

Tell him how you feel, try not to get upset, but be strong about it. Tell him why you can't keep living in the situation and that you love him (if you still do) but you can't keep staying there with his parents. Say you are moving in with your mother for the time being and need some time away to 'sort things out'. Give yourself a few months at your moms (check the states welfare laws out before you go there, some say you have to be in state for at least 90 days before applying for benefits, but not all, plus how would THEY know, ha ha!) to sort things out. Maybe he'll come around and grow up. Good luck, and hang in there!

Answer 4

Pack Up And Go To Your Mom's Til Your All Set Again To Start Over And Fresh...Save Some Money Buy A House Get A Good Job, And Hopefully You'll Meet Someone :) Good Luck

Answer 5

This is not a healthy situation for you or your child. If your husband cannot support you and your daughter, then you can probably do a better job. Look into daycare service through the local Department of Family Services, they will provide this to you if you meet the income guidlines. I believe you should leave your husband, he is a grown man and shouldn't be living w/ his parents, let alone making his family live w/ them. My parents are also equally controlling, and I moved out of their house and things got much better!

Answer 6

i can understand ur feelin as one of my dear ones r facing the same prob. i suggest tht u shud nt leave ur hubby n go, bcos of ur rude in-laws. its nt easy to bring up a child by urself.i feel u shud earn a gud job and be independent. let ur in-laws take care of ur child. wen the ryt time comes, wen ur hubby is in a gud mood, tell him tht u want 2 shift along wid ur family (tht is u, ur hubby n kid only) to another place wich is much more comfortable. tell him tht u can visit em weneva he wants.try to get help from ur hubby's frens ,or someone tht ur hubby truly likes. seek a counsellor's help if nothin else seems to work.

Answer 7

Pack your bags, go to your moms house and then get yourself straightened out. Your husband is not married to you, he's married to his parents.

Don't walk, RUN away from these control freaks.

Answer 8

I suggest you guys find a place near his parents home.He'll be close to his parents and you can drop the kids off.Just tell him to tell his parents that they would like their own privacy.Be straight forward.Good luck.

Answer 9

Id say leave them and start a new life. If your hot it should be easy.