About three months ago my fiance told me that he has testicular cancer and had to have surgery. Now he's saying he's in chemo because he wouldn't get the surgery. He says he gets chemo 3X a week, but i never see him going there. he has all of his hair, he still has energy to work out every day of the week and he definitely hasn't lost his appetite. the other day i saw these pills on the counter and he told me that they are chemo pills, but i looked the imprint up online and it said it's hydromorphone, some sort of a pain killer. we're living in 2 different cities now due to work so it's easy for him to tell me whatever, but i see him every weekend and i see no signs that he's in chemo, no signs that he's had any surgery. i'm not really sure how to find out for sure that he's lying so i can force him to get the psychological help he needs. he has a history of compulsive lying to me also.
2007-01-12 19:17:26 · 13 answers · asked by v33139 2 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Cancer
To answer wondering's questions, it is a very odd relationship. He insists on me not being around while he's ill, he gets violently angry about it. He told me he was going into one hospital and when i showed up looking for him, he wasn't checked in there at all. He then was mad at me for trying to find him. He constantly gets mad at me when i try to be there with him or for him.
2007-01-13 03:25:34 · update #1
He is not telling you everything. Hubby went through it aand is starting Monday for the next round.
1st hydro-morph. they gave that to my husband after they went to get pieces to bi-op. Do you see any incisions and or stitches. Hubby had on back below shoulder blade.
2nd - Just because he is working out etc does not mean that he isn't get chemo. It effects all different ways on people. Look for a bottles of Folic acid- vitamin, ativan- like Valium, Compazine for stomach,Dexamethasone- this is what you take the day before day of and after. They would also give him a shot of B-12.
Maybe he had the biopsy and is waiting to see an oncologist.
If he is lying, he needs help and you need to let it go and move on. Life is to short for crap like that.
2007-01-12 20:10:00 · answer #1 · answered by always 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I had a friend who lied about having cancer. She even disappeared for a weekend once and came home with her head shaved. I wasnt a nurse then, but I am a chemo RN now and chemo hair takes a couple of weeks to fall out and grows back in slowly over months sometimes a year. She had stubble within 3 days. She was such a liar. She claimed to have a bone marrow transplant which takes weeks and weeks. She left and came home in 2 days claiming she had a bone marrow transplant at a hospital nearby and they dont even do them. She lied and told me she was on drugs for this that and the other. I never confronted her, but after time, our friendship dissolved and I dont even speak to her anymore. I think it is some kind of a sick ploy for attention.
Testicular cancer is very serious. It is so serious, he would have no hair and be sick as a dog going thru treatment. Testicular cancer treatment is not 3 x a week either.
Find a new boyfriend. He needs to get a kuke to go along with him.
Ps Hydrocodone is a prescription pain killer more well known as Vicodin. It could be used for anything.
2007-01-13 23:52:24 · answer #2 · answered by happydawg 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Obviously, I can't tell you if he has cancer or not.
However, chemotherapy does not affect everyone the same way - and the people I do know, who had limited testicular cancer, did NOT lose their hair or experience nausea. Not everyone looks like a stereotypical cancer patient.
Hydromorphone is a powerful pain medication, and seems consistent with someone who has recently had a biopsy or suffers a lot of cancer-related pain. However, given that your fiance is very active (working out) I doubt he should need the hydromorphone now.
More importantly - why didn't he have the surgery - testicular cancer can be highly curable, and usually requires removal of the affected testicle.
Lastly, to contradict someone above, chemotherapy can be given in pill form, although its clear from what you're fiance is saying that he goes to an infusion clinic where he gets his meds.
What a strange relationship you have! You live in two different cities, don't trust your fiance, say he's lied to you before, and you're not there with him while he's fighting a life threatening cancer - definitely SOMEthing wrong! Good luck at finding out the truth, one way or the other.
2007-01-13 08:58:30 · answer #3 · answered by Wondering 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, I hate to break it to you, but as a Hodgkin's lymphoma patient...I'm currently on chemotherapy and you probably wouldn't believe it.
My regimine (Gemzar, Navelbine and Doxil) doesn't cause hair loss (or very little) I have no real side effects to the drugs, other than they lower my blood counts. Not every cancer patient looks like the typical "bald, sickly dying person." I had high dose chemotherapy and a bone marrow transplant last summer and was doing 30 minutes a day on my treadmill two weeks after I got home from my hospital stay. Working out three times a week isn't very far fetched for some cancer patients.
It sounds to me like you don't trust him at all. If things are so bad between the two of you that you believe he would fake cancer....then maybe this question belongs on one of the relationship boards.
2007-01-14 01:07:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hope you are not planning on marrying this guy. Think about it...someone who will lie about having cancer will lie about everything. You are having doubts for a reason. It is time to end the relationship unless you will be ok with his lies from here on out, til death do you part.
I am mostly bitter because those of us who have had cancer and gone through surgeries and chemo and radiation are the only ones who get to play the cancer card. We have earned it.
2007-01-13 13:47:25 · answer #5 · answered by BriteHope 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's not being straight with you. Like the guy said about him not telling you the whole story, there really isn't anyway to find out for sure, but one I know for certain is that last I checked, chemo was given in pills, it's injected LOL and trust me, I have extensive experience, though it is secondary (my mom's had cancer several times). Also, if he hasn't lost his hair, he may be on experimental drugs that don't cause him to lose his hair, or he could be lying to you. One way I know to get someone to shape up is to threaten to leave them, and if you mean so much to them that they want to marry you, they'll shape up. Don't ask me how I know that lol good luck!
2007-01-13 03:58:01 · answer #6 · answered by High On Life 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
first next time you see the pills on the counter get the name and strenth of them and ask a pharmancist or go online to webmd and see what the drug is for and now if he refuses to let you come and help him and he goes to work every day then i would make a suprise visit to him to see what is really going on
2007-01-16 21:42:49 · answer #7 · answered by donna_taylor277@yahoomail.com 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm sounds VERY fishy to me. he is lying about the cancer. when my friends had chemo treatments , they couldn't do anything but just lay there. both lost alot of weight and looked sick. puffy face , dark rings unders eyes.. he is obviously lying and have you been to his house ? i would follow him for a couple of days and see what he is doing, bcuz he is doing something behind your back. possibly another girlfriend, wife ect. why would you want to be with someone who totally disregards your feelings or you life... screw that sh*t .. kick him to the curb and find yourself a real man
2007-01-13 11:49:49 · answer #8 · answered by ♠ JƏSSƏ'S GiRL ♠ 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
im a doctor and ive seen a lot of cancer patients, from waht you just described its virtually impossible to give you a definite answer, it could be cancer or it could be something else.... but 1 thing im sure of though... he is not telling you everything...
2007-01-13 03:26:53 · answer #9 · answered by Clive Roland 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should see that he get some professional help. And you should without a doubt postpone any marriage until he has done so and you are confident that he is more stable.
2007-01-13 03:22:43 · answer #10 · answered by ahab 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋