My dad is battling a serious medical illness which affects his energy level. He has always been a humongous procrastinator and leaves his office untouched. He never cleans it-never. Things lay in piles. In this rm. are also 3 huge non-houshold 6 ft. x 5ft items. My mom is no better-her bedroom has untouched mail and piles of clothes. Unsorted papers are stacked high on her desk & there are boxes of random stuff she just threw in that bar the opening of the hall closet. She only does basic household chores including dishes & laundry & also has a medical condition that prevents her from doing certain household chores at times. I dislike living in this environment but this is how my parents operate. My sister's wedding is coming up in 2 mo's which my dad thinks house should be clean for. How do I not cave under all this stress to be responsible for it-especially my own? I am seeing a professional counselor and it would be very harmful to me to give in.
2007-01-12 18:55:15 · 10 answers · asked by primrose_details 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
As a note-my parents behaved this way BEFORE they got sick. It's been this way for years.
2007-01-12 19:13:03 · update #1
In response to one of the answerers...I actually do have a medical condition that would prevent me from helping. Not kidding.
2007-01-12 19:15:45 · update #2
Make sure your bedroom is clean, clean the toilet and the bathroom sink in case someone needs the bathroom, and forget about the rest. You can't control your parents, and you're not responsible for what they do.
Another option is to tell your parents that if THEY want THEIR house clean for the wedding,
then THEY can hire a professional to come in and do it. This really isn't your problem, so don't let your parents make it your problem.
Have you talked to your counselor about moving out of their house? Science and medicine have proven that living in a dirty house aggravates and causes depression and stress, can alter the brain's chemistry because of the foul chemical smells and mold that are present in filth, and can cause physical sicknesses as well.
2007-01-12 19:24:09 · answer #1 · answered by No Shortage 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your parents really need you right now. I understand that you are under a lot of stress, but you did not mention that you suffer from any medical condition that prevents YOU from tending to those untidy areas.
I actually have to deal with this issue quite often. To have to clean another person's mess and personal items just seems down right unfair. But honestly, your parents cleaned up after you for years. Helping them out at this time is just something that you are going to have to do.
However, you have options. One, if you attend a church, I am certain that there is a teenager at that church who would love to earn some extra money. (My daughter is hired by several people from the church to not only baby sit, but to also clean their house. One person even hired her to help her move and clean the house afterwards.)
Another option is to find out if your parent's medical conditions will cover for them to have some sort of cleaning. At one point in my life, it was necessary for this and there are certain condtions that warrant housekeeping. Check with your parent's insurance provider whether it is an actual insurance company or medicaid or medicare.
If you are unable to get any help, the only thing that I can recommend is that you take things one day at a time and one task at a time. It all seems overwhelming when you look at ALL of the mess at once, but if you address it as individual jobs to be completed then the ordeal will not be so monsterous.
Best wishes!
2007-01-12 19:09:20 · answer #2 · answered by †♥mslamom♥† 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Either you send video to Dr.Phil or get a trash bad while you past through rooms and dump a little at a time in it. Sorry to say that it appears that you are going to have to learn to either be a part of the solution or part of the problem. Unless you are bed-ridden, I believe you can do SOMETHING. Do you have working arms? Did you have someone type your post? Or did you type this with your mouth? I've worked with blind, crippled and crazy people and I realized that its all about being useful-giving back to life. Let me leave you with this...seek and ye SHALL find.
2007-01-12 19:37:19 · answer #3 · answered by MeHurdu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a house cleaning service to come in...Once things are clean you can do your part by throwing away scrap paper and stuff like you don,t need in the house...keep your own room clean,thats all you can do...
2007-01-12 19:03:55 · answer #4 · answered by slickcut 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Find a nice room somewhere handy for your job, move in and leave them to their mess! Otherwise it will be you in a mental funk! Have a good day!
2007-01-12 19:11:06 · answer #5 · answered by wheeliebin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call the Dr Phil show!
2007-01-12 19:33:07 · answer #6 · answered by easygoingfemale44 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call in the professionals and pay them.
2007-01-12 19:42:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok so why are you trying to make it your problem?
Its your parents house, not yours and its your sisters wedding not yours.
Relax and let them solve it. It has nothing to do with you.
2007-01-12 18:59:53 · answer #8 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
LOOK alls you can do is keep your self straight.
2007-01-12 18:59:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't be lazy, clean it up!!
2007-01-12 19:01:41 · answer #10 · answered by Mamacat 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋