Have you ever pretended every things alright when it's not?

Question

how do you hide the pain? of mental illness? trauma? and pain. I have 3 beautiful children. They love me. But i feel my life as an actress is folding beneith me. Mental illness is robbing the best of me.

Answer 1

I think we all do put on different masks sometimes. It's kinda like getting a bad gift, but feigning excitment. Mental illness is a very serious thing, and really can turn your quality of life to nothing. I would suggest seeing a doctor to see if there are any medications that he can put you on. There are so many different drugs that you can take alone, or together, that you can maximize results and minimize side effects. Also, please do not underestimate the help that a liscenced therapist can offer you. See if you can get some reccomendations from friends or your doctor and find a good match. Having that appointment once or twice a week where you can talk about whats really on your mind and gain some insight can really help you out.

Do not ignore what you are feeling, and do not discount it. It is avalid and should be addressed. Remeber, you dont have to live with it quietly. There is help, there are treatments, and yes; you can get back to being yourself again.

Best of luck to you. Please contact me if there is anything I can do for you.

Answer 2

yes and it will keep doing that . i have been in hospital groups where not even the husband or the grown childern knew there mother had mental illiness till one day you can not take it any more, and there you are , and there your family is , amazed that you had delt with it that long without letting anyone know. I have childern too that love me, and they did not love me any less for me having a mental illness. I masked, and i really think that you know what i am talking about when i say masked, and also you do not let people see your eyes cause you eyes can show the pain you are feeling, you try to make every thing seem like nothing bad ever happen to you, so you keep on stuffing it, and one day it will come out sideways, and anyways it can, cause you just will not be able to keep it up. Since you had masked it for such a long time , you actually forget or never had remembered what you were masking, just that something deep within is eating at you, and your brain, and you have body memories, and once in a while maybe something will come to you, you keep people away from you, cause you don't want them to see your emotional eyes, or them asking what is wrong. So you get the darkest glasses you can and wear them all of the time, except when you are home alone with the childern or your husband. Then when it is time to take off the mask and let the eyes be showing, well that is so hard that you fight it with all of what you got left, cause you have lived and survied all of these years doing that , and your just not ready to let those go. Sooner or later, it gets the best of you, and you need to get some serious help before it gets even more serious if that is possiable. Then it is a long hard road going forward, then slipping back, then forward, then back again. It does get better, the good times actually get so they stay longer, and longer, even though you go back , you learn you will go forward again, and it will last longer and longer, so get some help, now, cause it can be a real stuggle at any point that you may be at. It is not an easy thing, nor is there a magic pill or wand for it. It is hard work, and you just have to keep pushing forward no matter what.

Answer 3

Most everyone pretends sometimes, keeping a stiff upper lip, holding back tears for private times, smiling when you want to cry and scream, it's called grieving. You are grieving those losses.

It's hard to say how many are hiding the pain of depression, so I would estimate that lots of people pretend things are all right. Try to remember that your children have been losing you during this illness, someone needs to help them too.

Pretending seems to be a common thing to do in the grieving process, which you are having a very hard time getting through.

I continue to pray that you will feel better. God Bless you.

Answer 4

Yes for about five years I did. My father hurt me terriably and I didnt speak to him for 5 years, yet I acted like a didnt give a damn and everything was honky dorey.
What I learned is I was actually starting to convince myself that this was true.
Earlier this summer I saw him for the first time in 5 years. All those years of hurt came back to me 10 fold. I couldnt even be with him in the same room for more than 5 minutes as I was hurting so bad. I even got physically sick. It was like the most painfiul moment I can recall.
So even though I dont have mental illness I truely believe the longer we pretend something is not what it really is the harder it slaps you in the face when it eventually comes out. So in your case do what you need to do to get things right with you now before it gets too hard to be able to face it.
Your kids already know everything is not ok. Kids percieve everything and are the best observers. My mother had mental illness and spent years trying to tell us she was fine, when in reality we watched her progressively get worse, which was probably more difficult to witness as a kid then to watch her recover and rebulid herself..

Answer 5

I would get some help from your doctor first. Depression is a serious thing and can take away all the pleasures in life including your family. People who have no experience of depression say 'pull yourself together' but it isn't that easy. Talk to someone like the Samaritans or a self-help group, look in the yellow pages or some churches run these groups, or go see a priest or minister. I felt like this once. Good Luck

Answer 6

I am sorry to hear that, but I am going to presuade you to see a psychologist as hiding it just causes more pain. I know that you love your children and are seeking help on some level because you are asking for it on here. I think it is important that you stop hiding your pain as it will never get better if you do not seek help from a professional. I hope that you do for your families sake and your own. If ignored, the pain will continiue to consume your life. Best of luck to ya.

Answer 7

you cant hide the pain of mental illness trauma and pain but you can take each day as it comes, my daughter suffers from this as well and she has 5 children some days she is great other days she feels so low but she says mom i take each day as it comes she also says with out the love of her children she would not have got thro some days she says its hard and sometimes the pain is very bad but the love in her children's eyes make living worth while so please don't give up there is hope i will add you in my prayers and don't forget your not alone

Answer 8

Unfortunately, it's very common to hide those feelings. People look at you funny, or you feel like it won't be socially acceptable to show those feelings to people. Especially your children and loved ones.
I just about lost it because I kept hiding and internalizing my feelings when my mother passed away. The only way I had of releasing my pent-up feelings was when I was around my fiance, and I felt guilty about it.

Go to a doctor. Get help. That's what they're there for, and you DESERVE to get help. It's hard to tell your kids. But sometimes you have to. You tell them. I'm sick. I'm sad all the time, I hurt. It's not your fault. But I'm going to go to the doctor and get help. If you like, you can help too. All I need is to know you love me.
Go. Get help. Find someone to talk to. And be well.

Answer 9

Patricia, I want to let you know right now that you're a person of value. Your life matters. You matter. The experiences you are going to share with your children in their futures and the lessons you can share with them are going to be positive. Life is going to get better - you are going to have wonderful experiences in front of you. Just get through this. Throw your shoulders back, take deep breaths, and smile. Hold that posture and keep smiling as hard as it may be. Keep breathing deeply and think about all of the times in your life that you are grateful for. Think about all of the wonderful experiences you have had in your life. Savor those. Think about the small things in your life that make a difference - your ability to see, to hear, to feel. Go over those and get grateful. Imagine your children smiling - watching them graduate from high school, college, getting married, having kids, achieving their dreams. Visualize it and get greatful. Your life matters. Stick in their Patricia. Your kids love you, god loves you. I wish you my best.

Answer 10

:( it's never good pretending everything is alright.. because eventually you will breakdown.... try to get help. It's good to talk to people about problems. Talk to someone you trust in your family. Seek help. Go to your local church for help if you don't have the money for help. Just remember you're not the only one out there with problems.. although that's how life feels. Goodluck and I hope you get immediate attention. If you don't want to do it..do it for your kids. They need their mom.