what is true gift giving?

Question

Should gift giving ever include obligation?

Answer 1

I think a true gift is a gift that doesn't expect something in return nor is expected for external reasons.

Holiday time for instance: To me, that seems like a present exchange, not gift giving as the context implies expectation. There is nothing wrong with that, but lets see it for what it is.

My family celebrates Christmas and it was always about presents and Santa when I was a kid. That's how it is in the US. Then again, isn't Christmas a celebration of the birth of Christ? I don't recall the holiday being based on or having its primary purpose revolve around Santa, yet, what's the focus during the Christmas Season?

That's not really a gift is it? If you give someone something because its socially unacceptable not to? Sounds more like social conformity and perhaps social extortion or a consumerist guilt trip to me - not by a person, but by society in general.

Valentine's Day for instance - is that the expression of love or is that the avoidance of not looking inconsiderate? If its the expression of love, why are we guilted by hallmark and our friends for our expressions of love not measuring up in a material way to the expression of love our friends give to their lovers? Doesn't Valentine's day seem more commercial than emotional?

Thanksgiving even - do we think about giving thanks all that much, or are we thinking about turkey dinner? Sure, we say a blessing that includes thanks, but that's say a few minutes max between days of anticipation and an hour long pig out isn't it? Are we anticipating the opportunity to give thanks or are we anticipating the pig out?

Not that these holidays are bad or that gifts on the holidays are bad - hardly, but I think the original intent is kind of lost in the commercialism and the competition regarding who got the better loot. Measuring love and what not by the value of the loot recieved - So little Johnny got a radio controlled car - awesome, but little Sammy got a full blown go-cart. Little Johnny and little Sammy are being raised to think with certainty that little Sammy's parents love him more. Never mind that little Johnny parent's can't afford it but wish they could - that part isn't important. What's important is that little Johnny's parents be punished for not loving their son enough - bad American - you need to spend more.

That sort of thing is an obligation as far as I'm concerned and destroys the meaning and intent of the gift.

My mother for instance - I don't get her flowers on mother's day. On the other hand, I send her flowers and take her to dinner at random times throughout the year simply because I want to.

She has never asked why I operate this way. I think she understands and frankly, I'm happier her not knowing and being surprised when a flower person shows on say August 15th.

In this example, its the difference between her feeling bad she DIDN'T get flowers she expected and feeling good she got flowers she didn't expect. This is why I don't like following patterns dictated by dates - she isn't set up to feel bad if I don't handle my 'obligation' as imposed by society.

Besides, the best gift is the gift of time - its free and means more. Or at least should mean more.

Answer 2

True gift giving is from the heart, without the giver feeling any obligation to give. But it also involves the reciever not being burdened, either. Some people give gifts, and have rules attatched, such as the expectation that the gift should be displayed prominently in the home, or the piece of clothes should be worn where the giver can see, or the money spent in a certain way. And that the gift should never be given away, or sold, or recycled, or returned to the store.
Really true gift giving might be allowing, or not caring when the recipient does whatever they want to with the gift.
Though I disagree with the following idea, perhaps a really true gift giver does not have to be thanked by the recipient, he doesn't care, because he gave from the heart, without any rules.
I part company with that statment. I really do enjoy getting a thank you note. It brightens up my day, to think that someone thought enough of me to thank me. I have always felt that a thank you note is not really so much about the gift, it is more about the giver, "thank you so much, that was nice of you," works for me.
Good question, thanks for asking it.

Answer 3

Gift giving often becomes an obligation, such as with family; nieces, nephews, grandchildren, etc.
True Gift giving is when you want to give something to someone as an expression of how much they mean to you, and how much you love them.
True Gift Giving can also be giving to an organization that you believe in. It becomes an obligation when you receive free mailing lables asking you for a donation to some charity, or someone is taking up a collection in the office for some cause. Ture Giving is when you come across a charity, and make a gift to it, because you want to help make a difference by supporting thier cause.

Answer 4

I think true gift giving means to give gift or something without expectation of the return gift.

Answer 5

A true gift is something you give to another with out any ties. It is a gift of your heart and needs no acknowledgment from the receiver.

Answer 6

A true gift is one you give without expecting one in return.

Answer 7

A true gift is High quality Ture Love inspired without expecting anything else .

Answer 8

True gift giving occurs when an "in kind" response isn't needed nor is it expected. It is completely selfless.

Bill at www.bravemanstuff.com

Answer 9

That's not really a gift is it? If you give someone something because its socially unacceptable not to? Sounds more like social conformity and perhaps social extortion or a consumerist guilt trip to me - not by a person, but by society in general.

Answer 10

true gift giving, is giving something to the person as a sign of your appreciation for that particular person. it doesnt hav to be expensive and breaking your budget. gifts may be in the form of cards, or paintings, especially if you made it yourself.... that would make the gift extra especial.