My daughter is coming out of university after only 3 months as she doesnt like the course.?

Question

Im very dissapointed, but obviously want her to be happy.Whats the best way to handle the situation and what advice do I need to give her?

Answer 1

She is not mature enough to handle collage. Let her come home and help her get a job in a field that she likes, even though the job will be low paying and low prestige. Where do her natural talents lie? Do not let her "take time off". Charge her rent and do not treat her like a child, treat her as an adult with responsibilities. (I bet she wants to come home and act like she is 12 and is under the shelter of mommy and daddy)

Answer 2

She is not a failure in leaving she may not be ready to make the decisions she needs to about her long term goals. She may be making the responsible decision. If she is not happy with the major she has chosen, just giver her some time to find out want she wants. Encourage her to look for the best job and growth opportunity she can. Hopefully she can define what would have to be different in her life for her to consider returning.
I was unhappy my first 2 years. The next 2 years I was numb and went through the motions to get a degree and do well enough to not be embarrassed by my achievement. I wish I had just stopped and waited until I found a career I wanted to study for instead of wasting my time and money. I was much more focused and mature 8 years later when I went back for my Master's. I know some people think an advanced degree is ridiculous but it helped open the door for me in a field i wanted to be in. My Undergrad degree was the useless one.

Answer 3

I have children in their older teens, so have met many young adults in the last several years who went away to college. Many, many, many of them have returned to our town after just a semester, to attend the local community college for a couple years, before transfering back to a 4 year school. Some kids just aren't ready for that big of a change.

Let her know you love her and support her and want nothing but the best for her. If you have local college courses available, recommend she take a few while she's working. That'll give her a taste for the value of education... and help her become more independent. Perhaps with time she'll be ready to try again.

Answer 4

She will feel dissappointed in herself and feel like she is also letting you down. My daughter started Uni in September and we have had many a tear over this. Its hard work for these young adults. Not only is she learning at Uni, she is having to budget, feed herself, care for herself, washing, cleaning, transport etc. She has to make all new friends, she has to build a new social life. She misses home, the comforts, the security, the family, familiarities. Its hard on you I know, you want them to stay and just give it a while longer, I have said this to my daughter so many times, just see how you feel in a week or two etc and you pray that they will settle down. As much as it is her life, you want the best for her. All the education and learning she is keeping with, the better chance she has of a brighter future for herself. You want her home because she is unhappy but you want her to stay for her long term ambitions. Just support her, tell her that whatever she decides that you are proud of her for the life choices she makes and make sure she knows that she is loved. Love does not understand distance and I always tell my daughter that she will leave home one day anyway so why not now while time is on her side and she has worked hard for this chance and it would be a shame to pass it by. Its hard I know but just let her find herself and what she wants and always support her. Another thing to keep us parents awake at night eh? Take so much care ....both of you.

Answer 5

Is it definitely the course? If so three months isn't too late to switch courses or she can speak to her tutor about starting again next academic year on a different course.
If she is away from home maybe she hasn't settled and would be better applying to a uni she can commute to next academic year.
Just encourage her to make something of her life, hide your disappointment because she is probably felling rather confused and upset at the moment.

Answer 6

She is afraid to face a new enviroment in her life but you are her mother and you have to be straight in your desicions about what you really want for your daughter which is her best and she is not gonna be fine without a good education, you can't be saving her back everytime she's in need, she does need to lear how to make out in a world full of opportunities to prepared people....

Answer 7

her telling you she doesnt like the course maybe her way of telling you she is homesick.
I know a girl who wants a career in criminology but wont do the course because she has to go to manchester to study and would miss her family and friends.
Dont be too hard on your daughter,moving away from home for some is a big adjustment that needs to be tackled when they are ready to tackle it

Answer 8

Its common, over 42% of first year students can't take it.

The ones that succeed develop a learning strategy that accounts for their strengths and weaknesses. Often 1 (and only 1) year in college is a good option.

Answer 9

You might be disappointed but you need to remember she needs to live her life and must do what is right for her not other people. Let her know that you are there for her to talk to and discuss what she enjoys doing or think she'll enjoy - be positive and be constructive - do not have a go at her otherwise she will distance herself from you and clam up.

Answer 10

Why you should be sad? Is the course is her choice? If so, then lets her do some other course she likes. It is better that way and she will be happy too. But if the choice is yours, then you should forgive her for that.
Don't be so hard on her. She will survive.