Who can tell me 10 good jokes?

Question

Please do tell proper jokes, I have to write them for a school project

Answer 1

Sardar comes back 2 his car & finds a note saying "Parking Fine"
He writes a note and sticks it 2 pole "Thanks 4 d complement"
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Once a Sardar was walking and had a glove on one hand and not on other
so the man asked him why did he do so? He replied that the weather
forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other
hand it would be hot.

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Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from
Amritsar , where he lived, to Jalandar to meet his friend. He reached
there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to
return, and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he
didn't reach in the evening and not the next day either. When he finally

reached home on the third day, his distraught mother ran and asked him "
Arre Puttar, ki hoya?"
The Sardarji got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and
said, "Oy, ye Marutti wale pagal hain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear
banaate hain, aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik?"
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Teacher: Can you tell me something about Raja Ram Mohan Roy?
Saradji: They were 4 best friends..!

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Sardar to Shopkeeper: - Mujhe India Ka Flag Dikhao,
Shopkeeper ne Flag Dikhaya,
Sardar: - Isme aur Colour Dikhao.
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How can a Sardar Kill a Lion? Sardarji thinks N thinks hard & comes to a
conclusion: I'll drink poison n let lion eat me. O' bolo ta ra ra.
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Sardar : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying.... When a
Person asked what he was doing.... He replied... Oye!! Higher Studies
Yaar...!!!
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What is Common between: Krishna , Ram, Gandhi ji & Jesus..?
Sardar ji Replied: All are born on Government Holidays.

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Santa : That Cow is a Lovely Colour ,
Farmer : Yes, it's a Jersey
Santa: Oh, I thought it was its Skin...!!!
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Sardar Son: O God! Please make New York the capital of Punjab .
Sardar: Why are you praying for that?
Sardar Son: That is what I have written in my exam.

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1 - Interviewer: what is your birth date?
Sardar: 13th October
Which year?
Sardar : Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR

2 - Teacher to Sardar: Write your best friend's name in English.
Sardar wrote: ' Beautiful Red Underwear'
Teacher: What?
Sardar: His name is Sundar Lal Sheddy

3 - Manager asked to sardar at an interview
Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Sardar replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O- X.

4 - After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife,
Do I look like a foreigner?
Wife: No! Why?
Sardar: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?

5 - One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village???
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!

6 - Lecturer: write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi
So Sardar writes, "Gandi was a great man, but I don't know who is jayanthi.

7 - Sardar was doing experiment with cockroach, first he cut it's one leg and told
WALK. WALK. Cockroach walked. Then he cut it's second leg and told the same. Cockroach walked. Then cut the third leg and did the same. At last he cut it's fourth leg and ordered it walk! But cockroach didn't walked. Suddenly sardar said loudly, " I found it. If we cut cockroach's four legs, it becomes deaf.

8- Sardar went in a hotel. To wash hands he went to the washbasin. There he started washing the basin. Seeing this the manager asked what was he doing. Sardar pointed towards the board "WASH BASIN"

9 - Interviewer: just imagine your in 3rd floor, it caught fire and how will you escape?
Sardar : its simple. I will stop my imagination! !!


Boss to assisstent: Keep that sardar busy for a while when I'm attending my conference!

assisstent: Your Majesty! sir!

Assisstent had gained victory over it! (keeping the sardar busy)



can you believe what he did?


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He put the sardar in a circular roo and told him to find the corner!


If you din't laugh at this joke then scroll down!!



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You had to laugh right now!!
Laugh now he he he he he he he !!!!







-1-
Child : (returning from his cricket match in his compound) "Mom mom ", can I have an apple?

Mom: But you just ate one.

Child : An apple a day keeps the doctor away and I just broke his window.

-2-
Child : (returns home after getting her report card)

Mother:whats your final grade?

Child : Underwater

Mother : what does that mean?

Child: Below C LEVEL

-3-
(Bollywood joke)
Jo and SO went to a forest for a trip. They saw a lion. Why did JO get scared and SO die?

Ans:- JO dar gaya SO mar gaya.


PLEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAASE RATE IT.

Answer 2

Visit santabanta.com.

Buy a jokes book.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Hey was contemplating writing but its too much of an effort.

Answer 3

I have some jokes,may be you like it.
1.Son:Father,I have a good news and a bad news for you.Which one you want first?
Father:Good news.
Son:I have came 1st in class.
Father:Oh!Well done!Now what`s the bad news?
Son:That`s a lie!

2.Once,a doctor and a man are going.They saw a girl named neena and they felt in love with her.The man had to go somewhere for a week.He gave the girl,neena seven apples.why?
ans:An apple a day,keeps the doctor away!

3.Which driver cannot drive a car?
ans:screw driver!

4.Which jam is there which we cannot put on bread?
ans:Traffic jam!

5.Where is happiness always found?
ans:In the dictionary!

6.How many sides a circle has?
ans:two.Inside and outside!

7.Which tea we cannot drink?
ans:Speggatti!

8.Judge:Order,Order!
Culprit:One plate biryani,a pizza and a cold drink please!

It may help you.I don`t know more.I will be very happy if you get full marks in the project.Do tell me how many marks you got.

Answer 4

1. Basketball Coach: “I believe you’ve grown two feet over the summer.”
Little Johnny: “No, coach – I still only have two.”

2. Chemistry Teacher: “What is the formula for water?”
Little Johnny: “H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O.”
Chemistry Teacher: “Why would you give a silly answer like that?”
Little Johnny: “You said it was H to O!”

3. Coach: “Remember, football develops character, individuality, and leadership.”
Player: “Yes, coach.”
Coach: “Now go out there and do exactly what I tell you.”

4. Dad: “Hard work never killed anyone.”
Little Johnny: “That’s the trouble – I want to engage in something that has a little danger to it.”

5. Dad: “How were the exam questions?”
Little Johnny: “Easy.”
Dad: “Then why do you look so unhappy?”
Little Johnny: “The questions didn’t give me any trouble – just the answers.”

6. Dad: “I hear you skipped school to play football?”
Little Johnny: “No, I didn’t – and I have the fish to prove it.”

7. Dad: “I want you to have all the things I didn’t have.”
Little Johnny: “You mean like all A’s on your report card?”

8. Dad: ”I’m sorry you flunked your math test. How far were you from the right answer?”
Little Johnny: “Three seats.”

9. Dad: ”Look at this report card - your teacher says she can’t teach you anything!”
Little Johnny: “I told you she was no good.”

10. Dad: “Stop asking so many questions. Don’t you know that curiosity killed the cat?”
Little Johnny: “Really? What did the cat want to know?”

11. Dad: “What did you learn today?”
Little Johnny: “Not enough – I have to go back tomorrow.”

12. Dad: ”Would you mind explaining the meaning of this D and F on your report card?”
Little Johnny: “No problem, Dad. It stands for ‘Doing Fine.’”

13. Dad: “You were absent on the day of the Math test?”
Little Johnny: “No – but the boy who sits next to me was.”

14.English Teacher: “Do you know what an inkling is?”
Little Johnny: “It’s a baby fountain pen.”

Answer 5

1)
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her
mother do the dishes
at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her
mother had several
strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on
her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked,
"Why are some of your
hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do
something wrong and
make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns
white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a
while and then said,
"Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"


2)The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a
Catholic elementary
school for lunch. At the head of the table was a
large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other
end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God
is watching the apples.


3)Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan ?
Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.
Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!
Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this?
Caller: I'm Sum Wan .And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.
Operator: I know u are someone and u want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?
Caller: Well just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother, Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Rightnow, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.
Operator: Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital from the accident that isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!
Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator: I'm Saw Lee.
Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your
name!

Answer 6

we'll try a few..

why were santas helpers sad? low elf esteem

what is black and white and read all over? newspaper

you can tune a piano, you can tune a radio, but what can't you tune? a fish

what does everyone lose when they stand up? a lap

why did the cow jump over the moon? he had to get on his milky way

why was the bird unhappy? he had to get up early to catch the worm

the kindergarten teacher was taking roll and little jimmy wouldn't tell her his name, or even talk to her. when his mommy came to pick him up she asked him why he didn't answer the teacher...
he said I'm not allowed to talk to strangers

why did the kitten follow the mouse? she wanted to be a mousekitter

what did the meadowlark ask the cat?
why don't you act like a tree and leave?

what did the ice cream say to the banana? Come on, let's split

what did the moon say to the little lamp? Night, Light

Answer 7

my 10 parking space good joke.
A minister parked his car in a NO-PARKING ZONE in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read:
I have circled the block 10 TIMES,if I dont park here, I'll miss my appointment..."FORGIVE US OUR TRESSPASSES...
When he returned,he found a citation from a police officer along with this note:I'VE CIRCLED THIS BLOCK FOR 10 YEARS, IF I DONT GIVE YOU A TICKET,I'LL LOSE MY JOB...LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION" (wink)

Answer 8

Please don't hit kids! No, seriously they carry guns now!


90% of people when about to get into an accident grab the steering wheel and SCREAM. The other 10% turns to the person next to them and says "HOLD MY BEER AND WATCH THIS!"

Answer 9

Peter Peter
Pumpkin eater
had a wife & liked to beat her
smacked her twice around da head
F**ked her a*se & went 2 bed!

Jack & Jill went up da hill
2 hav a lil fun.
Bt stupid Jill forgot da pill
and now they have a son..!!


Dont go d way life takes you.
Take d life d way u go.
And remember ur born to live n
ur not living coz u are born!

learn to love someone wen
u find wat makes them smile,
but u can nevr truly luv some1,
until u knw wat makes dem cry...


Husband: Wen Im gone u'll never find
another man like me".
Wife replied: Wat makes u think I'd want
another man like u?

Wife: Give me some money. I want to buy a B*A.
Husband: Why? You have nothing to put in it!
Wife: You wear shorts!

Answer 10

you can read my blog. There's a lot of jokes there :

http://au.360.yahoo.com/bonic_canlas


Good Luck!!!!

Answer 11

if you were clever enough you could make up your own jokes and not ask other people who you don't even know to do your homework for you...