I have not seen my son in 7 years, I feel it would cause more harm than good to get back in his life?
2007-01-12 17:05:26 · 14 answers · asked by crazyc 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i would go over da house nd spend time wit him cuz u wont be able to spend time wit him anymore
2007-01-12 17:10:57 · answer #1 · answered by personaltiyqueen92 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suppose if he is not much older than 7 now, AND he has a great family relationship with a stepfather in a stable marriage to his mother, I guess that might be the right decision. But somehow, I don't really like that idea. (Have you never paid child support?). Without knowing more, it is hard to say what you should do. I don't think a child can have too many people who love him. Down the road, he may feel that a dad who shows up late is better than a dad who doesn't show up at all, but I know that may not always be the case. Talk to the other parent figures.
2007-01-13 01:20:22 · answer #2 · answered by and_y_knot 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, I don't have any children but understand this. Your Son Needs YOU!!!!!! Just because you haven't seen your son in seven years doesn't mean that he doesn't miss you or want you around. I never grow up with my father again but I have always wished and wanted him to be apart of my life in some shape or form. If he would have taken the time out each day to call me, then that would have made a hell of difference in my life. Every children needs their father whether he is down the road or half way around the world. Whatever you do, don't give up your rights. You should fight to see your son. Don't you want to be the one who teaches him how to play basketball or football, teach him about car and truck, teach him about women and don't you want to see him play in his first little league baseball game. Don't you want to be the best man at his wedding? What father want to miss all those things?
Yes, it's going to hurt at first. And there are going to be some questions that he is going ask you and he may not understand the answers but understand he need to hear the truth. After a while things will change. Please give your son a chance to know his father.
2007-01-13 01:24:27 · answer #3 · answered by SouthernGirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you gave them up 7 years ago. I am sure your son feels that you did. I would never give up the rights to my child, but then again I would not have gone 7 minutes without being in my childs life. Your son needed you 7 years ago, your son needs you now and he will need you for the rest of his life as long you are there for him.
2007-01-13 01:16:34 · answer #4 · answered by Barbara 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF you have not seen or even taken the time to find out anything about the child in this long .. do the MOTHER of the child a favor and sign over your parental rights and let her live in peace.
I went through this situation with my own ex -- he was violent, abusive, and was convicted of abusing the children. HE NEVER Visited, but when he decided he did not feel like working, he would burglarize my home, steal from me, abuse/assault, damage property, or complain because his driver's license got taken away for non-payment of child support ... (then complain to the judge that "I'm doing what I can ..." SURE ... if you consider beatings, abuse, theft of property, etc as being supportive).
It would have been far, far better if the jerk just signed over his parental rights once and for all .. then I would have happily gone along with my life, and could care less about anything else (including the child support -- which I would have GLADLY Given up to just get this animal out of our lives).
2007-01-13 02:05:42 · answer #5 · answered by sglmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Parental abandonment is one of the most damaging things that can happen to young kids. It affects their entire lives. If there is a way you can ease back into his life... not as a live-in dad... but to get to know him, to let him know you care about him and will be there for him, on HIS terms... then I recommend you do it.
That is, UNLESS you are not committed to being there for him, no matter what. No matter what comes. No matter what life brings your way. An opportunity to move out of state for a better job? Not if it means leaving your son. A chance to go on a great vacation? Not if it means missing his baseball game.
If you're not willing to make the commitment to actually PARENT him, then he would be better off dealing with only the one abandonment. If you meet him and then disappear again, the damage to him will be irreparable.
2007-01-13 01:44:12 · answer #6 · answered by Amy S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have not seen him this long then all you will do is confuse him. If his Mother has someone else in her life your son has already accepted him. Always know where is is and also talk to his Mother about when he is old enough to understand to tell him about you and give him the choice of meeting you.
2007-01-13 01:10:58 · answer #7 · answered by justcurious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your X if offering a chance to give up parental rights, and erase all child support/arrears etc. JUMP on it!
After all this time, probably he has already been poisoned against you, and hate you anyway.
Now, if you still have to pay child support, and arrears and all that, don't give your parental rights.
MAYBE in the future, he will want to get to know you, and leave the door open for that.
But don't expect miracles.
2007-01-16 01:34:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it would be hard for him for you to get back in his life but if you want to get back in his life and be there for and with him everyday then you should do it and it would be easier in the long run because if you give up parental rights, you will regret it for the rest of your life and then when he finds out that you are his real mom/dad he will hate you forever for giving up parental rights if something bad happens in his life or his 'NEW' parents were mean and then if he talked to you after he turned 18 he would be blaming all the faults in his life on you cause if you wouldnt have given up parental rights none of those things would happen......create a schedule so you can see him everyday and then get into his life but i dont recommend doing it before you can arrange to see him everyday
2007-01-13 01:14:22 · answer #9 · answered by lisa_eli_92252 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are a noble person to not interfere in his life. But on the flip side of that statement, I have a son that is 23 and he has lived with a GREAT loss of not seeing his father. He knew him and the abandonment has really destroyed his spirit. Please if your child knows you at all, call him or something to let him know you are thinking of him. Do this religously....It does matter!
2007-01-13 03:38:30 · answer #10 · answered by easygoingfemale44 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it would be a very admirable thing for you to give up your rights after this amount of time, I think you are right it would be more harmful if you showed up now. It may be hard to do but its for the greater good.
2007-01-13 01:12:57 · answer #11 · answered by Melody 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋