do i let my kids cry?

Question

when i go to church or to the gym, they have a nursery.. a play area for the kids while u go to the services or work out... now, my 1 & 2 year old kids cry because they dont want me to leave..... i dont wanna just leave cuz i feel its wrong,.... what am i supposed to do?

Answer 1

I know it is heart breaking to listen to them cry when you are leaving just know they are learning when you do leave them that you will come back and that you are not leaving them for good. All children go threw it at some point it is natrual and part of growing up. The best way to handle it hug them both and kiss them and reasure them as best you can that you will be back but don't make your good byes to long that will only make it worse because they may think you are going to stay and then you dash out on them. I have a 1 1/2 yr old son who is going threw that stage right now as well and I just hug him and kiss him and tell him I love him and I promise I will be back yes he crys but every time it gets better and he is learning I do come back. I hope that helps you good luck.

Answer 2

At one and two years old, they need to learn to deal with separation from you. It will be easier for them if you can have the same person watch them every time you go. They will eventually learn to trust this person and know it's okay, and mommy will be back soon. Emphasize that it's okay, and that you'll be back VERY soon. Separation anxiety is just as hard on parents as it is on the child, but this is just something that needs to be accepted. I would suggest checking in (without their knowledge) after 20 minutes or so. Walk by and listen for their crying. If they are still crying, then you will need to comfort them. If you are at church, sit in the nursery and listen through the PA system if it's available. If they are not crying, go back and finish whatever you are there to do. Don't let them see or hear you or you'll never be able to leave the second time. Good luck to you and Blessings

Answer 3

If you go there consistantly they will develope a relationship. What you need to do is start out small, only put them there for short periods of time, and then come back eventually they will learn that you always come back.

Also remember this is a time when they are learning that people are different and they really prefer to be with those they know and love, but if you give them a chance they will get used to the people you watch. They may never totally stop crying when you first drop them off, but usually children calm down after you leave. This is because when they get upset you do and they sense that. When you leave they have time to calm down and see that things are fine.

Answer 4

they will be okay. If you are happy with the carers then it will be okay. They have to get use to being left at times or there will be many problems when they have to be away from you when they start school. There is very good chance they stop crying only a minute or two after you leave. It will probably take several weeks before it gets better but it will. As long as it is regular and with the same people. If it is different carers all the time then it is probably best to find somewhere that uses regular carers

Answer 5

When at church, try letting them sit with you. If that doesn't work out, just keep using the nursery. They will grow out of it. Also, check out why they might be afraid to leave you at those times. Is someone being mean to them?
Instead of going to a gym for exercise, try taking your children to the park and running and playing with them. You'll get the same effect as going to a gym and also give your children more quality time with you.

Answer 6

As a former daycare provider, trust me when I say that 9 times out of 10 a crying child will stop as soon as mom and dad walk away. They do it for your benefit. They want you to know they aren't happy. But if you leave they'll stop and usually busy themselves with toys, other kids, whatever. Sometimes you'll get the child who will continue to cry but they'll do this a few times until they're used to the situation. And then there are the kids who cry when you drop them off, calm down during your absence and then cry when you pick them up. I had one family convinced I was neglecting their toddler because she cried when they dropped her off and then cried again when they picked her up. So, they assumed she was in tears the entire time. They wouldn't listen to me when I explained she did great when they were gone.

The person who advised not to just diappear is correct. Let the child know you are leaving. Have a ritual. And no matter how many tears your little one is shedding...walk away.

I've had to do this as a parent and at first I couldn't do it. Even with my experience as a daycare provider. But I finally forced myself to walk out and it turned out my son was fine. He just had to realize that no matter how much he carried on he was going to stay and I'd return later.

Good luck!

Answer 7

When you're going somewhere where you can keep your kids with you, such as church, try letting them stay. Teaching them how to behave in public in different situations is just as important as dealing with their separation anxiety. When you are at the gym where you can't keep your kids with you, don't let their crying sway you from your plans. Explain to them that you will be back, and assure them as to how much fun they will have with the other kids and toys they may not have at home. Getting them used to sometimes being away from you now will make daycare, preschool, or school easier when the time comes.

Answer 8

this is a hard age for kids.1 and 2 yrs. they are very attached to the moms and dads. take them into the nursery and sit and play with them for abaout 10-15 minutes and then pop out the door. or you can do it this way. say for example you book them in at 10.30 am go and play with them for a minute and then disappear,come back in after a minute or 2 and stay again for another while.then pop back out again,do this for 15-20 minutes. the kids will see that your here with them and if you leave ,you'll always come back.

Answer 9

Separation anxiety is very normal and can disappear as soon as it shows up.

Tips:

Don't just disappear.

Make a ritual when you leave...go through the same ritual when you are leaving. Like kissing them on the head, or singing a specific little song, or saying a little phrase. After a while they will know that when that happens, you come back to get them, and they can relax.

Don't get overly emotional when you leave.

Answer 10

if everytime your children cry you rush to them and comfort them they will do that for many years to come. Then they will think that whenever something is happening that they don't want then they will just cry. The best thing to do is to just leave them. After a couple of minutes they will find somthing that intrests them and will completely forget about you. Don't feel bad when they cry.