One for the Ladies - Men in bed - what do you think if this happens?

Question

Im extremely worried something will go wrong the first time i have sex.

Ive just started dating this girl, and im very nervous. I know she isnt a virgin, and im guessing she would expect me to at least have been with one person before.

If you started dating this guy, and suddenly the big moment came, and it was a shocking let down, what would you feel? say? or even think?

Im not worried about what i look like, its more my performance, of not knowing what to do, being early or not rising to the occasion.

I get very nervous and overthink things, but biggest problem was when i first tried to have sex, i was so nervous i just couldnt rise, and its haunted me since (but there were external factors as to why i didnt). And the girl broke up with me day after, and its just in the back of my mind, that it may happen again.

Answer 1

Try to take things more slowly. Let some feelings develop between you, and things will happen naturally and you won't be nervous.

Answer 2

Don't over think this. If she has had any experience she has had an equipment failure or two in her time. If she is worth her stuff she will rise to the occasion even if you don't.

Hopefully you have more going for you in this relationship than just sex and even if the worst happens she will be understanding and help you through it.

I do have a hint for you tho. If you will masturbate about three hours before you see her it will help you to not get overly excited (if that's the problem).

If it were me, and it has been, then we go on to something else or I help him through it - his call. If it's bothering you, then talk to her about it before hand. If you care for each other then you should be able to tell her your fears. And she should be there for you emotionally. It's not all about the woman feeling safe in her head, you know. You guys have rights too.

Answer 3

I dated a virgin once and it was the BEST!!
You need to be honest with her and tell her that you haven't had sex yet and what your fears/concerns are. If she sticks with you after you tell her than she won't leave if it is not the best mind blowing sex she has ever had...she'll know that it was the first time and that things will get better...much, much better! :)
Good luck.
Also, being with a virgin should lessens the chances of an std.. who doesn't find that an attractive trait??

Answer 4

I wouldn't be mad at you because I could understand. When you let a girl know that it is your first time, and it is not hers, it is her job to make you feel comfortable. Some girls are not willing to do the work, thus it would probably suck with them anyway. Its normal, and happens to a lot of guys even ones who have done it before, if they are too nervous...it won't stay up.

Answer 5

Virgin or not personally i never expect the first time to be anything to great. Mainy because its your first time together and the passion is so intense it starts and ends very quickly. But if your that scared talk to her and explain and decent girl will understand and if she wont. Shes not the one to give your virginity to!

Answer 6

Your best bet is to talk to her about this. I know...scary thought, but it will definately make a difference to both of you. You opening up about something will show you have a sensitive side, and that's usually a plus.

Answer 7

I honestly don't think you should worry about this. "The expert in anything was once a beginner".

(Man, I never thought I'd use this quote for something like this...)

Answer 8

The simple solution is to wait until you are married to have sex. It is the right thing to do.

Answer 9

If you are worried take a Viagra and let your thoughts go free.

Answer 10

why don't you use a professional first, then you can get over your fear and focus on her when it comes time to perform. you won't be a virgin and you can just enjoy yourself.