How can only one of these two questions be offensive?

Question

As a little test, I asked "How do I tell my atheist parents that I'm straight?". I received a number of answers that were offended by the implication that all atheists are gay. Of course I didn't mean that, but whatever.

Another question I saw on this forum was "How do I tell my Christian parents that I'm gay?" ... Nobody gets offended by the implication that all Christians are straight.

I am a straight atheist. I've never been offended if anybody assumes I'm gay. But I was literally shocked to see how many so called open-minded people can be offended by being assumed to have a sexual preference.

Of course, my question was a lame attempt of answering to the silliness on this planet that gay people still have to deal with in telling their Christian parents that they are in fact gay.

But my question is: If somebody assumes you are gay, and it offends you, are you really open-minded towards homosexuals?

Answer 1

Its a good point you raise.

As I think about this, I see several possibilities for people's offense at being mass labelled gay.

One possibility is that they are heterosexual and the thought of being homosexual is gross to them. It is definitely possible to be tolerant of homosexuals and still find the idea of having sex with the same gender gross. That's quite obvious, given the fact that you ARE a heterosexual.

Another possibility is that associating all Atheists as homosexuals seems to imply that all Atheists are social outcasts, as they must be mistreated and rejected as homosexuals to "not believe in god".

In the following possibility, its the implication that Atheists are so because of being a social outcast that is offensive, and not the label of homosexuality per say...

You also have to be careful when some reactions, as some people are offended at the fact that mass generalizations are used, rather than the content of the mass generalization.

I'm thinking to myself about what comes to mind if someone were to imply that all atheists are homosexual. The first thing in my mind is "that's an incredibly bigoted statement". To me the use of label of homosexuality on a person also brings connotations of sexual immorality and depravity because that is what the general fundamentalist christian associates homosexuality with.

In other words, if a Christian calls all Atheists and myself homosexuals, I feel as if I (and all other Atheists) have been labelled sexually immoral and depraved, because that's what I think the person is trying to label me as, alongside the term homosexual.

I must say again, that was a very good question.

Answer 2

I am an Atheist, and I answered that question and I was offended.
I have to admit... you've made me think about something...

But the reasons I was offended was:
I thought you were attempting to insult Atheists
I assumed that IN YOUR MIND, gay was a bad thing.
It appeared to me you were stereotyping Atheists.

Sorry that I "didn't get it." I followed your link to other questions you've answered and have decided you've got many opinions similar to my own.

I do consider myself open-minded. I would FAR prefer a homosexual couple as a neighbor if that couple were friendly, trustworthy, honest, etc than a heterosexual couple if they were not. I don't know if that came out right, but my point is I like or dislike a person by HOW THEY TREAT ME, and I judge a person by how they treat others. Sexuality has nothing to do with it.

I've never understood why people get so bent out of shape over who a homosexual is F-ing (when it doesn't affect them) yet repeatedly vote a politician back into office (who has been F-ing them without consent). You know what I mean? Inotherwords.... the former doesn't hurt me at all..... the latter hurts me in many, many ways.

Answer 3

+First, i have never said i was open minded about homosexuals. And it is only recently that they have been given the civil right to be openly gay. That is another thing, why are they called gays. So I think I would be more upset than offended if some one thought i was a "gay" I would wonder what had sent that message to them.

Answer 4

I've been accused of being gay lots of times. I take offense, but not because I think it's "bad" to be gay, but because the people making the assumption were using it as an insult.

I guess I should say that I took offense that they think someone's sexual orientation should be used as an insult, not that I took offense at being called gay.

I don't see how anyone could have assumed that you meant that ALL atheists are gay by that statement. Talk about jumping to conclusions. o_O

Answer 5

Haven't you realized by now that Christian are far from open minded! Their mind is very closed. They only believe what their preacher tells them!

As for the sex thing what rock have you been living under? Christians have always been obsessed with sex! It is the number one sin! The reason for this is simple marketing. Sexual desire is the second strongest desire we have. The only desire that beats it is the will to live! By making the second strongest desire we have the number one sin it ensures that their religion will always have something to hold over us! It is about power and control! As religion has always been! Oh yes and money too but that is another issue!!

The reality if sexual preferance is biological not one of a persons choice!

Answer 6

Actually, people become offended because the assumption is usually based on the assumed person's behavior. I think people become offended because they don't appreciate the implication that they are acting "gay". It probably has less to do with open-mindedness as much as it may be view as a personal insult.

Answer 7

Im a christian and although I believe homosexuality is an abomination unto my Lord, I also dont believe its my place to judge anyone for anything. If my son told me he was gay I admit I would be upset, but I would still love him just the same and show him all the respect any man deserves. So yes I am open minded.

Answer 8

i actually found this interesting. i never knew anyone assumed people who are atheist are gay. that's definitely new to me. as far as being christian meaning your straight that's way off lol. i'm christian (and straight) but have friends who love the Lord as i do and are gay. i think people who aren't gay and get offended it's because of the negative feelings they have towards gay people. and because of closed mindedness. personally because of my religion i know it's not right by the Lord but at the same time we are all born in sin (according to my religion) and if i hate them for bein gay then i need to hate myself because i too have sin. (ok really not tryin to turn this into preachin session pls don't get offended at my references to my religion i swear it's not my way of pushing it on you just the only way i can answer the question with my honest opinion) for example there's a passage which happens to be one of my favorites about a woman who committed (i think adultry) a sin and the townspeople (i know that's not what they were called but just stick with me here lol) wanted to stone her to death and Jesus stood up and said let he who is without sin cast the first stone. i try to live my life with that outlook. i can't judge another for what i do myself. even if it's a different sin it's still a sin in (my) God's eyes. unfortunately there are a lot of people who are christians and have a holier than thou attitude and forget that they aren't any better than the next person. personally live what you know. seriously i just never thought about atheism in that way as far as sexuality just that they are with out religion which personally i think is sad but if that is their belief and what they believe then so be it. i'm not gonna shove something down their throat they don't want. if they are meant to find religion they will seek it when they want it. you made some interesting points about open mindedness that i agree with

Answer 9

I get offended when a gay person hits on me (assuming I'm gay), but yet, I am still open-minded toward homosexuals.

Why? Because my sexuality is my business, and theirs is theirs...so to me, sexual advances that are unwelcomed are sexual harrassment.

But, flip the coin on your question...are gay people open minded toward straight people if they get hacked off when someone says "oh, I didn't realize you were gay!".

Just more food for thought.

Answer 10

I am straight. If a gay guy thinks I am gay and hits on me, I am not offended at all. And if straight men and women think I am gay, and they expect me to feel insulted at being called gay, then the ignorant morons can get a life.