Should I stay with my girl friend? or find someone else?

Question

Okay, I have been dating my girl friend for over a year and half, we have had some good times and some bad. Last year in school I loved her a lot and felt insecure whenever any guy would talk to her over the msn or anything because I know my friends (guy friends) would do that, one of which said to her "I love you more than your boy friend loves me." I don't what the hell that means, but it might be a flirtatious move.

So now a year later, I am in college now, we have both gone to seperate colleges but close together. She lives in residence and I live at home, we see each other once a week or once every other week. Anyways, I seem to think I have become less interested in her because we have different interests, and lets face it she isn't the brightest star in the sky.

So now lately I have found myself looking at other women, but one woman in paticular, she is a couple years younger but she is smarter, but i don't know her that well like her interests and so on.

help please.

I just think that maybe I have lost interest and that we don't have that much in common, and I think maybe I am ashamed of her. Like her intellectual capacity, and how she does things.

I think I stayed with her for so long because in high school we had a group of friends, and i didn't want to lose her because I thought I would lose everyone maybe I was selfish, or maybe I did love her. But now I don't seem interested and I would never cheat, I would obviously break up with her before going out with anyone else.

So I might of used her as a security in high school.

Answer 1

You know, some people might enjoy being with someone intellectually inferior for the power kick, but most of the time it just doesn't work out. When it comes down to the basics, you can't really expect to be happy with someone who doesn't share the same interests or can't even grasp the same level of jokes.

My husband and I are completely equal in every aspect and I truly believe that's why we're happy. Sure there are things he can do that I can't but there's also things I can do that he can't. We compliment each other. We're both very intelligent and conversation is an important element in our relationship.

If you can't have intellectual, mental or emotionally stimulating conversations with someone, what CAN you talk about before it gets droll??

The outward physical appearance gets a lot of people in this situation and that's why shallow people never find "the one"....they're looking at someone on the outside and after the newness wears off they're stuck with someone boring.

If you're only seeing each other a couple of times a week I don't think tapering off to even less would be that traumatic.

I wouldn't tell her she's dumb and you've met someone new that's smarter (obviously you wouldn't do that) but I would slowly break things off and then take a little bit of a break before getting involved with anyone else. Even though it sounds like you made your mind up long ago, you still need that "me" time to clear your thoughts and gear up to look for what you need in a companion.

If she's chatting guys up over the internet...and THEN telling you about things they say it sounds like she's playing that insecurity you once had so she can be in the advantagious position....thusly controlling you by making you feel jealous or inadequate and that's a mind game. I wouldn't care if they had the IQ of the late Carl Sagan, that sort of manipulation is a trait anyone should run fast and far from.

You probably could even try to turn her away from you...sounds like it wouldn't be that hard for you to make her think it's HER idea for you two to break up. If you're the smarter one, that'll be a piece of cake. That way you won't have to deal with the possibility of a drama storm from someone who took you for granted and thinks they have you wrapped around their little finger. Usually breakups with people like that are nasty not because of the aspect of them losing you, but more like you had the audacity to reject them.

Go for it....good luck.

Everyone deserves to be happy and with someone who is their complete equal in every way. Anything less and you would be settling...then you would be quite unhappy with yourself that you didn't take the chance to be happy when it was right there in front of you.

Answer 2

Well if u feel like there is no passion like u used to have and u feel different about her i think u should break up with her. 1 year is a long time but both of u will move on. If u dont do it now it will probably hurt more later on and also be harder when ur still dating because uve been with her longer. Plus if ur looking at other women ur not being a good bf also. who knows maybe the other younger women ur looking at just might be the one. just remember dont regret wat u do.

Answer 3

Growing apart, especially at your age, is not an uncommon thing. The thing to do here is be honest about your feelings. You and your girlfriend have spent a bit of time together, you have had feelings for each other, you owe it to her to not go behind her back and cheat on her. Tell her openly that you feel your relationship has run its course, then you're free to pursue or date others.

Answer 4

it sound like you the one that has some issues that you need to
deal with, if she was not the one that you want to be with then
why did you waste a year with her and now want to disrepect
her, you the one that she need to cut loose, and for the other
girl if she is so smart maybe she be smart enough to
lleave you in the dust.

Answer 5

The face that you are even considering this is probly basis for a yes...take a break or break up!

Answer 6

You have already ansewerd your quetion,you have to face it all,you seem to be very far apart from each other & this is very bad,dont west your time!!