First of all when he doesn't just say that he will kill me if I leave him but he says he will if it is over no good reason(he says if he messes up its fine if I want to leave). I'm 18 and he is 24. We have been together 17 months and we love each other very much. I know I'm too young to commit myself into a relationship forever but what can I do, I feel like I dont have a choice because he says he will hurt me. And I don't want him out of my life forever because I love him a lot but I don't want to miss something better. Also I have brought up the fact that I'm not sure I want to be with him forever and obviously he didn't take it well at all so I had to tell him I was just playing around. Anyway...What should I do?
2007-01-12 16:10:20 · 24 answers · asked by beautiful 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
that is a very scary situation and i wouldnt want anybody to have to go through that. it is your choice to be in a relationship or not and nobody should have that control over you. especially not threatening you will violence. i would talk to someone you trust and make the police aware. if he can speak those words now imagine the potential he has to really hurt you if you do something he doesnt "approve" of. guys like that only get worse. it starts with small comments like that and there is no telling to what it could lead to. you may feel attached to him and love him but you do not deserve to be controlled in any way. believe me you can find someone who will love you and not keep you by controlling you-if you stay in this relationship you will definitely miss something better. good luck
2007-01-12 16:21:14 · answer #1 · answered by notsurehere 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You neeeeeed to leave this boy-man. Why I call him a boy-man is because he is obviously insecure and doesn't know how to have a mature relationship. You're suffering from emotional abuse hon, you just don't know it yet because you don't understand the dynamics of a co-dependant relationship. If you are too scared to leave look in the phone book and find a transition house that you can stay at. It's a safe house for women and men aren't allowed there. Then get yourself some counselling about abusive relationships so that you will never be sucked into that mind trap again. He's very manipulative....don't stay because the longer you continue this unhealthy cycle the harder it is to get out of and recover from. You don't really love him..you just feel dependant on him and are scared to move on. Go.
2007-01-12 16:21:44 · answer #2 · answered by tunafish 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's obvious to me that you are in a very abusive relationship. You might need to ask for some help from either a parent or a domestic violence councilor. It's hard to know what love is when your only 18. It is real easy to confuse the emotional experience of physical touch and closeness with feeling like you love someone. But they are as different as night and day. Only through growing and nurturing your own person, your own wants and desires, will you be able to see the difference. For now I would say, love is not threating or fearing someone. Love is not the relationship, its the relationship that fosters the love. Loving yourself first is the only way to give love to someone else. "Get out now" and give yourself the love and respect that you deserve. It will never come from others until you give it to yourself first. And you can never share it with anyone else until it is a part of you.
2007-01-12 16:50:25 · answer #3 · answered by WOMAN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The thing is, if you try to leave him (but you leave the "door open", too, so to speak) you'll never get out of this relationship. And you should get out of it. I think you know that. If you care about your future..you need to make a move right now. Get some support of some good friends around you and FAMILY if that's possible, and do not tell him while you're alone with him. You must do this and above all STICK TO YOUR DECISION. You know he will try to threaten you, talk you out of it, whatever. Just take a deep breath, and think. Your life will be yours again. Move on and DON'T LOOK BACK!!
2007-01-12 16:31:34 · answer #4 · answered by Evesong 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-19 22:09:45 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one has the right to threaten you!!! This is a form of abuse and manipulation!! You need to leave this "relationship" and move on with your life. You will find someone who loves you unconditionally!! This guy does not love or respect you the way he should. You deserve much, much better!!!!!!!
First you need to tell your parents and close friends about your situation. You will need their support and possibly protection when you break up with this guy. Next you need to speak with the police. They may not be able to do anything but at least they will have your complaint on file. This is important should you need to get a restraining order, which I pray you will not.
You are very wise to realize what he is trying to do. It may be difficult to leave him but you must and by having others know about him will help you stay away from him.
Good luck!!
2007-01-12 16:26:25 · answer #6 · answered by devils'littleangel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can you honestly say he loves you if he has threatened to kill you?Run girl don't pass go don't collect $200.Leave,call the law,run for your life.At his age saying that he sounds more like an immature little child.Please get out now before your parents read about you in the paper.I doubt anything good will ever come out of this relationship.Sorry about starting with a question but I had to ask.
2007-01-12 16:40:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
God, this is why so many relationships are ending in divorce...because of people like him. And don't think that anyone who threatens to hurt you in anyway under any circumstances loves you. You need to end the relationship, but you're not going to just because a couple people over yahoo answers told you to. You're going to have to reflect on this relationship a lot on your own and understand the good and bad that could come out if if you stay in it.
2007-01-12 16:17:28 · answer #8 · answered by Snicker_Doodle8 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweet lord, I hope this is a joke.
Let me tell you a TRUE story about my hometown. There was a guy in high school who was just like your guy sounds. He threatened his girlfriends with physical harm or death if they left him. Of course some did, and he got very angry, but didn't seriously hurt them. So everyone thought he was just a jerk with a short temper.
But one girl (and her family) took it very seriously. One day she simply moved -- changed addresses, schools, phone number, etc. -- and didn't tell ANYONE who wasn't completely, utterly, 100% trustworthy to keep her location a secret. Most people thought she was overreacting.
But four years later, that guy shot and killed his girlfriend, and two former girlfriends, and then shot himself.
If you're not joking, do not take this guy's threats lightly. My advice would be to do everything you can to be as drama-free as possible. Be boring. Be no fun. Be silent...
And then get the f u c k away.
2007-01-12 16:25:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. sugar, I know this is hard...But cmon, can you picture a life with someone who is so insecure about themselves that they are a threat to you and possibly your future kids?
You're 18. trust me, you dont know if you are ready yet. I day this because I am experienced. I am 22 years old, and got into a relationship a 16. When I was 20, he ended up leaving ME and I was left with our 2 year od daughter.
Its not worth it. well, my kid is, but everythihg else isnt...Dont settle for less than best. And if hes threatening you, get out of it fast....Theres a chemical imbalance there somewhere in his head...
2007-01-12 16:17:23 · answer #10 · answered by Krista 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋