I recently got engaged to my bf. I really care about him, & I think he really cares about me (cuz why else would he propose to me). But, I constantly feel insecure in our relationship & constantly feel paranoid that he has or will cheat on me. We went from extremely awesome sex several times a night to now he either doesn't want it or can't finish when we do do it. I talked to him about this & about how important this issue is to me & our future marriage. His response was that "he thinks I want it too much." My response to that was that I didn't know of ANY man that would complain about that. I've snooped in his wallet & through his email & they've both come out clean. the only thing I haven't been able to snoop in is his cell phone b/c it's too damn loud. Also, I noticed that when I was logged in to his email in yahoo, the yahoo main page had the "personals" site highlighted. I didn't even think to look there, but now it leaves me wondering. Am I just paranoid or could he be a cheat?
2007-01-12 16:10:13 · 17 answers · asked by Jennifer B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Whoa! Red flags everywhere! snooping in emails ?! His wallet?! You're scaring him away sweetie. Do NOT marry this guy, you'll drive him to cheat.
2007-01-12 16:15:41 · answer #1 · answered by Foss 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is the most important thing in every relationship so the first step you should take is to tell him exactly how you feel. That means you need to tell him EVERYTHING. Also, take into consideration some more "signs" of cheating other than just your sex life. Has he started to come home later than usual? Does he cut your phone conversations short? When his cell phone rings does he take the calls somewhere where you can't hear the conversation? It doesn't seem like you have enough evidence to have a very convincing argument that he is cheating, but it is very important that you talk to him about how you are feeling. Also, since you all are planning on getting married, it wouldn't hurt your relationship to seek out pre-marital counseling. It can teach you skills that make these kinds of issues easier when they come up later down the road and can also resolve any current issues that you have.
2007-01-12 16:17:08 · answer #2 · answered by shallybles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually, if you suspect something's going on, something usually is. If you're basing it on his sexual performance, it was pretty insensitive to say that you don't know a guy who would complain about the problem of someone wanting too much sex. He could have ADD or some type of hormonal imbalance making him not perform up to par or not be interested in sex.
This may seem a little far-fetched, but now that suspiscion is in your mind, it's never going to leave. I suggest hiring a private detective to follow him around and see if anything's going on. Well, that is, only if he's away for periods of time and you think he might not be where he says he is.
Your other option to that is counseling. These suspiscions come from somewhere and you're either projecting them onto him, and need help with that, or you have a legitimate concern and you need help dealing with that. Just take some action before this eats you up inside.
2007-01-12 16:17:38 · answer #3 · answered by Android 18 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think snooping in his things will get you any points! What if the tables were reversed? From past experience, I can honestly say too much jealousy may lose you the love of your life! On the other hand, if you calm down and look at things objectively (with your brain and not your heart) you might have some logical reason to confront him. Either way, don't commit until you are SURE!!!
2007-01-12 16:15:28 · answer #4 · answered by newintown 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Second sentence is a red flag - you "think" he cares about you?
If you are engaged and you plan to spend the rest of your life with someone, you sure as hell need to know that he *loves* you more than anything else in the entire world.
2007-01-12 16:18:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust your instincts. A woman's instinct is really accurate. But for a relationship to work, you need trust. That's the number one ingredient to having a good relationship. You also need to communicate with your guy often, to know what's going on and everything.
2007-01-12 16:19:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to him about this- and respond to him if he says "you want it too much" that you won't want it at all if he can't atleast open up to you. Marriage is such a gigantic step that if you two aren't communicating, then it is doomed before it starts. Now- other then really caring about him, do you "love" him?
2007-01-12 16:16:24 · answer #7 · answered by Shay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could be paranoid and it's nothing wrong feeling that way. Maybe you need to slow it down on the sex because it will get old, so slow it down.
2007-01-12 16:19:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He could be covering his tracks, people are not stupid they will not make it easy. But I think it is an issue if he is less interested in having sexual intercourse with you, possibly he has another women on the side giving him that pleasure or maybe not.
2007-01-12 16:15:29 · answer #9 · answered by drunken_monkey1988 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all are equipped with a little voice in our heads, we get used to ignoring it, so we chalk it off as paranoia, if you aren't cheating on him, and you get that feeling either he is cheating on you or you are with the wrong guy.
2007-01-12 16:28:22 · answer #10 · answered by blackberry j 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋