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I have a four year old. His biological father has only seen him once since the day he was born. Of course, I was dumb enough to put his last name on the birh certificate and have him sign it. My husband really wants to adopt him. He has taken care of him since he was five months. My son knows my husband as dad. I also get child support checks from the biological father. I just want my husband to adopt my son and I have no idea how. Someone Please help me, I want to get this done as soon as possible. Thank You

2007-01-12 14:56:24 · 13 answers · asked by sherrie l 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting Parenting

13 answers

I 'got' my son at age 4 through adoption. I married his mother.

get a good lawyer - tell them what you want to do. You may need to have the approval of the biological father (we did in Florida) and your attorney may need to go through his attorney. Once the papers are signed, it goes before a circuit judge to sign and approve.

we saw the adoption that went thru before us - their lawyer had one copy - "I don't know what you do from here - probably need to make a copy to send to Vital Statistics..blah blah blah

our lawyer had 7 copies ready for the Judge's secretary to 'conform' to his signature, so all we had to do was drop one off and keep going, and not wait at the clerk's office. And our lawyer sent a copy to everyone who needed it, even the other attorney.
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Incidentally a year later, saw his Honor with his wife at a Wendy's for supper, and asked if it was indeed him, 'holy' came over his face as he said yes - I told him he did an adoption for me and I had someone to introduce him to -

turned around to see 'my' son standing ON the napkin holder getting our forks and spoons - spun around to tell the judge I wish I knew where my son was - His Honor was biting his lip to keep from laughing as my wife got son down - I introduced him and he said "How do you do?" Mrs Judge told my wife that his honor does murder cases and divorces, so they do not know who they will run into - and this was indeed a delight!

When they sat down - they strategically sat two tables away so they could watch our little family interact as we prayed and enjoyed our meal.

Our son now is 31 - does not care to know who the biological was.

Yep - I would ask for a Christian lawyer. Ours was prepared.

best of luck!

2007-01-12 15:11:54 · answer #1 · answered by tom4bucs 7 · 0 0

I'd consult a lawyer on this one... My husband is going to adopt my daughter (age 7) whose bio father hasn't seen her in 4 years, but the difference is that your ex is still providing financial support. In California, where we live, if the bio father has no contact with the child and is not paying support for a period of a year, then they can have their parental rights revoked, as the courts consider lack of visitation and support as "abandonment". Then, we can petition to have my new hubby adopt my daughter. In your case, since the ex is still paying support, he still "technically" has rights. You can petition to have his rights removed through the court system. If you cannot afford a lawyer, you can go to your local court and ask for the family court clerk, who will help you find the papers you need and file for free. You have to provide income statements (check stubs), will be subjected to a home inspection by the mediator who will take on your case to make sure the home is "fit" for the child, and will talk to your child about how they feel. You will have the opportunity to tell the court that your child knows no other father, so the mediator won't ask your child questions about the bio father, and won't make waves in your family's structure. You will have to fill out adoption papers, may have to go to court if the bio father objects, (although the fact that he has not seen the child since birth will definitely help your situation), and will have to have the judge declare that the child will now have a different name. It should be a relatively easy process (and since the bio dad doesn't seem all that interested, since he hasn't been involved ever, he won't really have a leg to stand on in court to defy you), so just talk to a lawyer in your area who can give you the specifics on what you'll need to do in your situation and geographical area.

2007-01-13 09:38:49 · answer #2 · answered by dolphin mama 5 · 0 0

the best way to do thi is talk to a lawyer b cause u never no the bi-father might try 2 step n even dought he has not been there i just went threw something like that i met my husband when my son was a year old his bi-father was in prison when i had him he got out and i was about 2 get married he was ok with that i have been married 4- 6 years now and about 2 in a half years ago my husband wanted to adopt my son and guess what that no good mother wanted to step n but i remind u he has not been there but when he hear my husband whants 2 adopt my son he try 2 reject 2 it so guess what i got a lawyer and it"s done and he still pays c-support........

2007-01-12 20:31:18 · answer #3 · answered by lady o 1 · 0 0

If your husband adopts your son, the child support checks will stop. You may also be ordered to repay some of the child support you've received in the past couple of years.

And remember the father may not sign over rights. Even though he hasn't been a part of his son's life, he may be like other guys and suddenly get possessive when his rights are questioned.

2007-01-12 15:53:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

As the "father" to Sign a Voluntary Termination of Parental Rights. You should have it made up by a lawyer that is familir with Family Law. It will relieve the "father" of his child support and free the way for another man to adopt.

2007-01-12 15:01:51 · answer #5 · answered by star 4 · 0 0

Get a lawyer. Unfortunately your sons father still has rights. You also have been cashing the child support checks. The child's father needs to sign away his biological rights. It's tough to do even he's never been around.

2007-01-12 15:00:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

the birth father would have to give up his parental rights and then your husband could adopt him..so if the biological dad is willing to do that it should not be an issue and then he would no longer have to pay child support...get a good family lawyer

2007-01-12 15:33:38 · answer #7 · answered by charmel5496 6 · 0 0

It will be hard but worth it. Does the biological father pay child support? If he is in arrears or doesn't pay and you know where he is, he will probably gladly sign over, more money in his pocket. Besides if he wanted to be a father he would've made an effort to be a part of his life. You may find that it will be beneficial to both of you.

2007-01-12 15:10:28 · answer #8 · answered by thdsings 1 · 0 0

Well it isn't happening unless the pappy says it's happening....but who knows....if he never sees his child, it must not be a top priority for him to do so, thus maybe he would like to get rid of that child support payment. Good luck...it can happen....it did for my daughter and her biological father was with her for her first 3 1/2 years of her life....

2007-01-12 15:02:25 · answer #9 · answered by ticklemeblue 5 · 0 0

If your ex hasn't made an attempt to see the child, maybe he won't be so broken if he gets the chance to stop paying child support. You should ask him but understand if he doesn't want to give up his rights. I know some men become intimidated when there's another man raising their children, and think it's better to stay away.

2007-01-12 15:53:47 · answer #10 · answered by Brandnewshoes 4 · 0 0

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