Today my 5 month old would not stop crying. All day she whined and cried. Between her, the dogs, the messy house, the piles of laundry, and my two jobs I just got so fustrated and yelled, "SHUT UP" at her. I feel terrable now! Am I a terrable mother? And how do you handle the stress of everyday parenting?
2007-01-12 14:25:10 · 19 answers · asked by Peanut Butter 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Please don't feel terrible. As parents, we are allowed to get frustrated every now and then. Parenting is the hardest job in the world. Especially being a mother. With you juggling all of that stress is not healthy for you or the baby though. When times get tough, you have to step back and take a deep breath. Maybe try meditation or find something that calms you like a nice bath. I learned the hard way that you can't take care a baby and the household at the same time. The most important thing is your precious baby and everything else will eventually take care of it self. Ask for help from family or the father. That help's too. Don't ever turn down help from others and try to be super-woman all by yourself. It just makes it worse for you. Seriously, take the advice from your doctor when he says..sleep when your baby sleeps. It'll give you more energy and your body won't feel like it's in overdrive all the time. Please don't overwhelm yourself...
From a mother to a mother....it will get better. Find a routine and have your baby work around your schedule. Good Luck and best wishes to you and motherhood...it's a heck of a ride!!!! ;)
2007-01-12 14:53:56 · answer #1 · answered by jivs36 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That's definately not a good thing to do, but it takes a lot more than that to make you a terrible mother. And I confess that I've done the same, so you aren't by any means alone.
Taking a deep breath and counting backwards from ten slowly while reminding yourself that this won't last forever can be a good thing. Headphones and music while carrying a fussy baby (or earplugs) so the screaming isn't right in your ear can also help. Getting help from others so you can have a break every now and then is also fantastic. Getting out for a walk can also help - many babies love riding in a carrier or stroller and it will calm them for a bit at the same time as giving you some quiet and the excercise of walking is great for dealing with stress.
And while I don't approve of leaving a baby to CIO for sleep or anything and belive firmly in comforting a baby as much as possible, even I think that if you really feel at the end of your rope it is okay to put the baby in a safe place and leave them to cry for just three to five minutes so you can have some coffee or a glass of water and a couple of minutes to collect yourself.
At this age, it could be the start of teething that is causing so much crankiness.
Best luck.
2007-01-12 14:42:23 · answer #2 · answered by Persephone 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you didn't see anything wrong with what you did, then I would worry about being a "bad mom". Every parent has days when things seem like too much. If you are feeling this way frequently, ask a friend to help out. I had my best friend come over and just hold the baby so I could take a hot shower and pamper myself a little. It also helps just to get out of the house. I have an 8 month old and a new puppy, so I can relate. It does get a little easier each week. Next time you feel like yelling, put baby in her swing or crib and walk away for a moment. Take a deep breath and collect yourself. Also, make a little time for just you. That is what I am doing right now!
2007-01-12 14:39:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, that does not make you a terrible mother. The fact that you feel remorse means that you are a good mother, and you know that you shouldn't have reacted in that way.
I understand how it is. It's crazy...and you're working two jobs? You're playing the role of superwoman right now. Can you get any help from family/friends for a little bit of time each week? That's how I had to handle it. First of all, just being thankful for having such a beautiful new life (even throughout all the fussing and everything else)...then realizing that you really do need some down time to yourself. To keep you SANE!!
Hopefully she's asleep now...or planning to go to sleep soon. :) Give mommy a break!
2007-01-12 14:36:17 · answer #4 · answered by lilsedalemami 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What you just did was set a boundary and if your daughter isn't used to you raising your voice at her, she knows now that whenever you do it you mean business.
You are not in any way a terrible mother. A terrible mother would have hit her child or cursed.
Believe me, this isn't going to be the last time you raise your voice at her.
Look at it this way, now that you've set that limit and boundary, it could save her life in the future if you have to yell at her to stop her from wandering in the road, climbing on something, eating or touching something that could hurt her...
The stress of everyday parenting can easily be tolerated if you have a break every now and then....AND you establish discipline at an early age. No child is going to be perfect, but if you can (as some people say) "keep her in line", things will be easier for both of you. She'll behave better and that in turn means you won't stress out or lose your temper as often.
2007-01-12 14:41:53 · answer #5 · answered by Chick-A- Deedle 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No you are not a terrible Mother-stress brings out the worst possible feelings, when my children whined and cried and I felt myself getting aggravated, I went into another room for a couple of minutes to get my head straight then I would come out and try to solve the problem. Don't feel bad-just show her lots of love and take some time to relax,because when you are a Mom you need to take a few minutes for your self and your sanity.
2007-01-12 14:49:28 · answer #6 · answered by Urchin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not a terrible mom. We have all been there. The stresses of everyday life, the job, trying to be supermom, they all take their toll. You have to remember that above all these things, you are human: there is only a certain amount that you can take. Just count to ten when you have one of these moments, and resume your life. Make sure you have some "you" time everyday, in which you do something just for you. It's tough, but rewarding--I think you know that already.
2007-01-12 14:53:39 · answer #7 · answered by bellegurl17 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your child was probley hungry or she had her diaper wet. You could have out the dog in a room and shut the door, and no your not a terrible mother your just under a lot of stress. If she was crying because she was hungry or her diaper was wet you could have put her to sleep like feed her then rock her to sleep what i mean, and cleaned up around the house. If your married you should tell her husband to help you! Your marrige should be you 50 percent and him 50 percent. talk to him. if she starts to cry again then try what i told you, that could be the rpoblem.
2007-01-12 14:42:17 · answer #8 · answered by carribianlatinqueen 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No your not a terrible mother, I'm not gonna lie and say I've never had one of those days. Sometimes you just need to walk away-it's alot better than shaking your baby, and people will agree. Take a time out for you, and let it out-you'll feel so much better. Stress never gets any easier-you just have to learn how to deal with it.
2007-01-12 14:30:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
GIrl, your 5 month old doesn't even know what shut-up means. All it knows is that you were
upset don't worry.You didn't strike at it.What
you should do is ask for a little help. Believe
me. Put your pride to the side, you'd be surprised how much more of ther floor you
could see and walk through.
2007-01-12 14:39:26 · answer #10 · answered by Big Momma 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋