would you have another child?

Question

i was pregnant with my second child and when he was born i asked if he was a boy or girl the doctors said they did'nt know. all i knew was thatv there was something wrong with my child and i was scared. i finally got to see him 1 hour later. no one knew what was wrong all they did know was that he couldnt breath on his own, he had an enlarged heart, an extra digit on each hand and foot. theyv sent him to the cities where they found out that he had Trisomy 13 and that he was going to die. well two days after he was born he died and i was told that there is a 1% chance of this happening again. but im not sure if i want more kids or not. somedays i do somedays i dont. its really hard and i feel for those who have gone through what i did.

Answer 1

first off I'm sorry for your lose but yeah I would try again the chances of that happening again are too low to even bother to figure

Answer 2

Y'know this is totally up to you and how you feel. If this particular syndrome occurs again, will it be 100% death? Or could there be a chance that you might have a severely handicapped child...and would you want to take that chance?

I belong to a web group with parents who are afflicted with the condition I have. I won't go into details, but what they told me after I had my first daughter (had a stroke at birth, is ok now) is that we have a 50-50 chance of another child with this problem...and that it could range anywhere from 100% normal child to brain damage to stillborn to miscarriage.

My husband and I have one healthy daughter so we are satisfied and have decided not to have more children. However, in the group I have joined there are numerous (mostly women) people who have the NEED to have more children. But whatever the outcome, they are willing to live with it.

So it is a decision you have to make because only you know the position you are in. You said this was your 2nd child...is your first healthy? What would you do if it happened again? Is 1% something you can live with?

So your question is would I have another child? My personal answer would be no.

Best of luck to you.

Answer 3

I would see a genetic specialist prior to even considering being pregnant again. I would also insist on testing while I was pregnant. I would probably consider adoption.

I'm sorry for your loss, I can't imagine how borrible this must be for you.

Only you can make that decision, but consult a genetic specialist not just an ob/gyn. Then if you do become pregnant I would us a perinatologist instead of a traditional ob/gyn. They specialize in high risk pregnancies and can even do fetal surgery if needed. There is a good website, www.perinatology.com, that has a lot of information about the field of perinatology.

Whatever you decide I wish you all the best, I'm very sorry for your loss.

Answer 4

That is a question for your significant other and you to decide, there's no way I can decide for you. I can say the doctor said there was a 1% chance of the same thing happening again, so it seems to me that that should not even play a part in the decision of whether you want another to try again to have a child. I know its hard, very hard because you had planned for a healthy baby and you loved your baby so, but your life is not over because of that incident. God only gives us problems that he thinks we can handle. I'm sure you will make the right decision for you.

Answer 5

For one I am extremly sorry for your loss.I didn't carry my baby to full term I was 14 soon to be 15 weeks.I felt the same way because I was scared of the what if's like what if I miscarry again or what if I cant get pregnant again.I finnally realized that trying not to have anymore children that I would regret it.I know that you are hurting and I feel for you.What you need to ask yourself is in 20 years in the future am I going to regret this decision to not have anymore children?Or will I be glad I made the decision to have more children?I asked myself that and realized I would regret not trying to have anymore children.I know your scared but rember everything does happen for a reason as hard as it seems sometimes,and 1% is a low enough risk that I would try for another baby.

Answer 6

My second child was born very sick, i had gestainal diabetes that never showed up he was born at 11lbs and hypolycimic and had trouble breathing, the doctors said he was touch and go and really didn't hink he would make it through, he did and I was terrified of going through it again, well about a year later I found out I was prenant and I was terrifed, my husband and the rest of my family were scared too, I also died having him too, but I gave birt the a healthy baby girl and it went smootly no complicatins.

Answer 7

if its only a 1 % chance that it will happen again, then why not have another child. thats very low percentage. But dont have another child if your not sure.

Answer 8

i couldn't imagine what your going though ill just leave it at that and pray for you. but to answer your question yes i would like to father another child.

Answer 9

yes