Help for small children of deploying father?

Question

My friends son leaves for Iraq on Saturday will you'll please say a pray for him he has two small children who need their dad to come home safely. I am trying to keep their spirts up but it is hard on the little boy he goes to sleep in his daddys arms. Help us give suggestions that we can do far them I know how hard it is because of being a Amry wife. But our son was older and it is not so hard on him like it is on the little ones. Help

Answer 1

If Mom is there she will surely benefit from support of friends like you and ultimately this will make it easier on the children. If she is not there or involved, then maybe they will just need special time with Dad before he goes and he can do his best to reassure them. This sounds like a very sad experience for all involved, but children are very resilient. We will pray for them.

Answer 2

I too am a army wife and my son was two and a half when my husband deployed for Iraq. I was pregnant at time w/ our second child. My husband worried that our son would forget him and that our new baby would'nt be close w/ him. I had pictures of daddy around the house. We'd talk to him on the computer and phone when we were able too. I'd have him draw daddy pictures and let him pick out a few things that could be sent to his dad. His dad would not only write me letters but also to our 2 yr. old. He really loved to get a letter from daddy. I never let him forget daddy. We always spoke of him daily. He did miss him very much and cried some too. Let him sleep w/ a pillow or blanket w/ his dad's picture on it. Let the kids make a video of themselve's doing something funny, dancing etc. I did see this thing on tv were they were making a life-sized picture of the soldier that was being deployed. Since they couldnt have daddy really home w/ them, the kids liked the idea of having a life-sized version. I think it was on msnbc or cnn, I'm not too sure. My prayers are w/ you.

Answer 3

This question makes me teary eyed. It breaks my heart to hear of deploying parents. I'm a military spouse. My husband was gone for most of 2005. He was serving in Kuwait. We had been apart before but not for very long periods of time and before we'd had kids. So, this was different. He is home now and I'm still not over it. When I think of him being gone I can still feel that void. I cry whenever I see families saying good-bye. The other day we saw a mother and her two children at the store. They were all in tears and it turned out their husband/dad had just flown out that afternoon for a deployment. I burst into tears. It just broke my heart. I seriously wonder if I don't have some kind of post traumatic stress. I really don't want to have to endure another deployment. My heart and best wishes go out to the Army wives. They are some strong people. My husband is Air Force but deploys with the Army. He was gone for 7 months. It was the worst 7 months ever. I cannot imagine what it is like to have a spouse gone for 12-18 months. And many Army troops come home after that long only to go again within the year. I'd be a wreck. Kudos to the Army wives! My prayers are with your friend's son and his family.

Deployment can be difficult on the kids. When my husband was gone my kids were 5 & 2. The five year old understood more of what was going on. He realized he wouldn't see dad for a very long time. The 2 yr old didn't really get it. But after awhile he did start to wonder where dad was and he'd ask questions. I kept them both very busy. We homeschool so my oldest was very busy with school work. We participated in every function our base hosted and we went on all kinds of trips. Keeping busy was the key. The most difficult part was dad's homecoming. My youngest turned 3 right before dad got home. He didn't want anything to do with dad. It was really tough on my husband for awhile. But things are normal now.

Answer 4

It is tough very tough... My husband in the navy deployed for 2 years when my daughter just turned 4, he had never been away for more than 3 weeks before that. She cryed alot, and it was very hard at first but phone calls helped alot or just even a simple e-mail. I just reminded her that daddy loved her so much and he'll be back as fast as he can, cause he misses you. Then 2 years later he came back and it was great , and then not even 6 months later hes gone again and won't be back until june 07. Yeah it is extremely tough for mom and child. We taped pics of daddy on her bedroom wall so she can see him every night before she falls asleep. I try to keep her busy.... Gl to ya

Answer 5

I know how it feels Ma'am. When my husband went away the first time our kids were extremely young. (our youngest was 4 months. And she also slept in daddy's arms. He is now in Kuwait. It is sad to say but there is nothing that can prepare our little ones for this devastation. And it is so hard for us as wives. Take lots of pictures. Do lots of videos. Tell him to call as much as possible, so that they can hear his voice. Get a pillow that is daddies and make sure it has his scent on it. Have the little ones sleep with tha pillow. He can do a video with daddy's special pillow. If they ever get sad or lonely and need a hug from daddy...grab that pillow. And tell them don't forget to share the hugs with each other and mommy. God Bless our Soldiers and AMERICA! I do know the power of prayer and I will say one for all of your. Take Care

Answer 6

I will send possitive energy and best wishes their way.
When my husband deployed there was a "military wives club", very helpful! There were coloring/work books Called "when daddy Deploys"...that help mom's help kids with the seperation thing, they were created by a child pyscologist and obtained through family services on base.
Also I recommend that the news be treated as parental guidance, ( disturbing news gets blurted out at random).
tell them to be so very proud of their daddy!!! Best wishes.

Answer 7

My husband left me and his 7 month old little boy to go to Iraq in Dec. We had a build a bear made with his daddy's voice in it, saying he loves him and will be back as soon as he can. We also have pictures up everywhere. It is a very hard time, Good Luck, and I will pray for them also.

Answer 8

There are many wonderful suggestions here, so I only have one to add. Have the children's mom give them one of daddy's t-shirts that they can sleep in, this may be very comforting to them, they may feel as they have a piece of daddy with them. Good Luck to mom and the children, and I will keep all of military men and women in my prayers. May God bless them all.

Kathy

Answer 9

my husband is deployed for the second time, the first time we only had two kids which were one and two years old and one on the way. to help the kids we sit them down and told them that daddy had to go to work and would be gone for a while but he would be in there hearts and he still loved them. he was gone for almost a year . this time we havefour kids one which he has nevet seen but in pictures we sit them down again and talked to them the two oldest one which are six and five now they understund but our three year old took it hard and still does but to help her we keep pictures of him everywhere and got her a night shirt made with a picture of him and her on it so he would still be with her when she went to bed since he was the only one who could get her to bed. she still askes for him and crys but she knows that he loves her and she even talks to him in the pictures from time to time about what she has done that day. she even tells her baby sister about her daddy . the more you talk to them about the deployment and things the easier it is on the kids. you should always still include the deployed parent in on things you talk about and ask the kids if they want to write or let you write down what they want the parent to know or what is on there mind it really helps.

Answer 10

Seems more the kids understand the harder on other parent. I would reccommend big bros/sisters. especially if the departing parent knew the worker. It would give the child a sense of hope & something to discuss with Dad on the phone.God bless the familys!!!