My girl and I had plans for the past week to have a very romantic and nice evening tonight. Last night i found out that my brother who is only here for about 2 more days is having a big poker game. I asked my girlfriend if we could postpone our "date" to tomorrow or Sunday and she said no because she had work both days. I told her i really wanted to play poker and she could watch. She yelled at me telling me she wanted to dump me and that this wasn't right. THIS ISN'T THE FIRST TIME I'VE DONE THIS TO HER...i realize that it's just i REALLY wanted to play poker tonight. Any who, she has been under A LOT of stress and i decided to take her out tonight. I kind-of acted like a jerk...and started to complain in the car. She flipped out and told me to turn the car around drop her off home and she'd stop by later well...we ended up in a HUGE HUGE argument over the phone....and I told her i didn't really want to see her tonight. IS WHAT I'M DOING WRONG? I'm trying to prevent further arguments!
2007-01-12 13:18:00 · 35 answers · asked by Mike T 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Wasn't there a way to do both? Go out and have your nice evening out with your girlfriend, then afterwards go and play poker with the guys? Or vice versa? Did it really have to be one or the other?
Believe me when I say, no girlfriend wants to be invited to ''watch'' a bunch of guys play a game. It's boring, and she'll just feel left out.
2007-01-12 13:21:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your words means a lot. If you make a promise you need to try your best to keep it. Make sure when you have to break a promise it's really important. It seems to me that if your brother was going to be there for two more days you did the right thing by taking her the way she sees it. But as for you, if you really wanted to play poker that's what you should have done. because you went with her and you didn't really want to. You need to be with her because you want to be with her not because she is mad. That's why it led to a big argument. Always be honest not matter what because it will save you some trouble. You shouldn't be mad at her and don't want to see her because you are the one that wanted to be somewhere else and chose to be with her because she was upset. Just call her and explain to her it's not her you just really wanted to play poker. Tell her it doesn't mean you don't love her because you broke a date for the second time. In a relationship things are going to happen if we can't deal with the little things and work them out when a serious problem comes along you are sure to fail. Be truthful, from the start. If you make plans try to keep them. Don't say you are sorry about the same things over and over again or she will stop believing anything you say. No matter how bad it may seem stick to the truth. You need to talk to her and you can't prevent arguments it's a part of the relationship growth. Do the right thing. Next time I know you will do things differently. Good luck.
2007-01-12 13:39:27 · answer #2 · answered by relationcounseling 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah. Kinda. You don't just break plans for a very romantic evening to go play poker with the guys. It would in fact, be ok to ask politely and mentioned that its ok with you if she'd rather go on the date than sit around a bunch of guys with nothing to do. It might help you to put yourself in her shoes. For instance, what if it was the poker game you had planned all week, and then at the last minute she mentioned that you two are going shopping instead. It would kind of burst your bubble, wouldn't it? At this point, she is probably feeling betrayed. If you reconsidered and decided to take her out anyway, you should have kept the sarcasm to a zero. The fact that you've done this before doesn't help it any. To her its not, "I won't get to see my brother for a while" its more like, "You're putting me aside once again." Usually when poor judgments are repeated, it makes her feel like you don't care about treating her good.
Basically, you have to learn how to compromise. Take her out on dates, and then she can learn how to play poker and have fun with you.
2007-01-12 13:37:29 · answer #3 · answered by Amanda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off..you are idiot ...you should have taken her out instead of playing poker in the first place. You could have told your brother to ..I don't konw move the time of the game up..then play a couple hours and still took her out...it's called managing time.!!!!!!
Then you get pissed at her for no reason cause she was expecting to be with you and have sometime with you by herself...
To fix this problem find out the next time she has a day off..get that day off from work..get her flowers, chocolates and maybe a I don't diamond ring or neckless or earrings... take her to a romantic dinner that you planned in advance and tell her you love her and your sorry for blowing her off....
It might just work ..if she hasn't broking up with you already !!!!
2007-01-12 13:29:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is basically saying that she needs more deicated time to her. If you choose to spend it with other people, she is feeling like everyone comes first but her.
You need to figure out exactly what you want from this girl, and start communicating to her. Sit down with her. MAKE EYE CONTACT, and listen actively, by rephrasing what she says--do not add your but's, and's, or why's just yet! Just listen to what she is saying and rephrase it so that she understands that you have listened and heard. This helps her to feel so much better about what you do have to say at the end...
Who cares about right or wrong? Do you want to break up over something so trivial? You are very close to ending your relationship, but if you don't figure out how to communicate now--you never will in the future either...Avoiding the conflict isn't going to get either of you anywhere but with anger and resentment and hurt feelings, and right now she has a lot of hurt feelings too. I know your emotions are running pretty high too.
2007-01-12 13:27:52 · answer #5 · answered by Missy Lyons 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah, you're being a jerk... how could you dump a planned date for a poker game... it must had been reasonable if there was an emergency situation... if i were your girlfriend i'll act as the same...
next tme do care a lot for what others feel... it's not everytime what you like should be followed. Remember you are in a relationship you must be aware of the other half... Be more sensitive!!!! K?
2007-01-12 13:35:31 · answer #6 · answered by precious_me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO one who has a nice romantic evening planned out wants to get dumped for a poker game!
But the point here is...you were reneging on the plans you made with her. Regardless of what situation you are in, if you say you're going to do something...then DO it. (Emergencies are the exception, not poker games.) No one likes a flake, Sweetie, and if you remember this, you'll get far in life.
2007-01-12 13:28:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your being a bit selfish here, you should of just went on with the plan and planned the poker night some other time, God is poker much more important to you than your love partner? If I were her I would be pretty pissed off too.
Well, hopefully you learned something!
2007-01-12 13:27:39 · answer #8 · answered by DarkAaron 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you are. Youve planned this special night for over two weeks, and a poker game is more important to you than spening some quality time with your gal?..
Imagine how she must have felt, u chose a poker game over her.!! and if it was sum sudden plans, yeah u can be okay, but uve planned tis for 2 weeks, abnd obviously shes lukin forward to it..
decide man..where do ur priorites lie?
and u urself have said it.. u did act like a jerk
2007-01-12 13:23:00 · answer #9 · answered by vishnu 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well yes, you were being a jerk. You have to understand tht you must make sacrifices. You raelly wanted to play poker? Lol. I know you must love the game from what you sound like, but you gotta sort out your priorities! Think about it. Your bro won't really mind, since you and your girlfriend need to spend time togehter. You have to understand her position too. She is being repeatedly put aside. Imagine how YOU would feel in her shoes...
2007-01-12 13:23:59 · answer #10 · answered by Hyphon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋