Tell me a joke that had you rolling on the floor when you first heard it.?

Question

Clean humour please.

Thanks.

Answer 1

An elderly couple were driving across the country.
The woman was driving when she got pulled over by the highway patrol.
The officer said, "Ma'am did you know you were speeding?"

The woman, hard of hearing, turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"
The old man yells, "He says you were speeding!"

The patrolman says, "May I see your license?"
The woman turns to her husband and asks again, "What did he say?"
The old man yells, "He wants to see your license!"
The woman gave the officer her license.

The patrolman says, "I see you are from Arkansas. I spent some time there once and went on a blind date with the ugliest woman I've ever seen."

The woman turned to her husband and asked, "What did he say?"

And the old man yells, "He said he knows you!"

Answer 2

There are 3 girls. A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde. They are stuck on a deserted island. The shore is 100 yards away. The redhead decides to try and swim it. She makes it. The brunette says, she made it so why can't I? The brunette made it. The blonde says, they both made it so maybe I can too. She swims 99 yards, decides that she is tired, and swims 99 yards back to the island.

Answer 3

Guy goes into a bar and sees this beautiful redhead...he goes up to her and asks to buy her a drink...she hesitantly accepts..he sits down beside her and begins to come on to her...after a few minutes she has decided that he is a complete turn off. But he keeps on trying...after a few more stupid comments from him he asks if he can take her home and make love to her....her reply is priceless....she states............."Honey if we were siamese twins you could not get me into bed." teeeeeeeeeeeee
I know it sounds like a chick joke but believe me the guys around here have reversed it a few times.

OK the other one that it super clean...the ultimate blonde joke....
Did you hear about the blonde that hurt herself raking leaves....
yep, she fell out of the tree.
Now we have equal time for guys and gals...

Answer 4

WIFE COMES OUT OF SHOWER,looking at her self in the mirror,and said to her husband,I wish my breasts were bigger,he tells her to get some toilet paper and rub it between her breast,she looks at him and asks do you really think that will work,he tells her well it work for your behind didn't it.

Answer 5

Knock knock,who's there, banana,banana who,knock-knock,who's there,banana,banana who,knock-knock,who's there,banana,banana who,knock-knock,who's there,Orange,Orange who,Orange you glad I didn't say banana.