my brother hasnt spoken to me in over 10 yrs...not really sure why..he told my father that i tried picking up one of his girlfriends..i would have been about 17 at the time...but i didnt do it..we all played at the same football club and i would have only been saying hello....was he just being totally insecure??
hes 33 im 30.now.he has a 4 yr old son i have never met and my bro got married a couple of months ago and i wasnt invited..
i was a lesbian and now im an FTM
is it cos of that and his own insecurities?? i have tried talking to him but he leaves the room
what do i do?
2007-01-12 12:03:14 · 15 answers · asked by kiwitboi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
ftm doesnt mean full time mother..it means female to male...im trans
2007-01-12 12:10:49 · update #1
write to your brother and tell him that your a full time mother now (ftm) - maybe he'll talk to you this time.
chin
2007-01-12 12:08:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a long time to have a grudge against anyone especially your own family member.
I would have someone mutual, like your dad, set up a meeting between you two. Your dad should be there or or maybe even a professional counselor so that issues can be brought out and discussed but wisdom can also be inputted as well. It is far time that you two bury that hatchet.
You need to find out if it is just that isolated incident that he is upset about. That is a really long time to be upset at you over someone or for something that was misconstrued.
No offense, but maybe he has a problem with your lifestyle. It seems to me some deeper issues may exist far beyond what he has expressed to your dad.
He is your brother, I wouldn't give up on him. I would try different ways to get back in his good graces.
Best of luck
2007-01-12 20:14:24 · answer #2 · answered by Drea G. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should write him a letter and send it in the mail telling him how you feel and that he is hurting you. I think that he has his own insecurities and he may not be 100% okay with you being a lesbian even through it has been a while. Since he believes that you tried to take one of his girlfriends he might be afraid that you will take his wife or something.
2007-01-12 20:15:55 · answer #3 · answered by jnxsey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationships take two people. If he has refused to speak with you, won't permit his family near you and refuses to stay in the room with you, it's pretty obvious that HE is unwilling to relate with you, regardless of the reason.
You can't focus on the cause. You can't own how he feels about you. You can only own how you feel and how you behave.
You seem to want to keep trying, so do the family thing: a card or present sent every birthday and holiday that you'd normally recognize. If he returns it, donate it. Make a charitable donation in his name after that.
Don't put your other family members in the middle.
Vent your feelings safely and preferably outside the mess.
If you must analyze the why's of this, seek good professional help.
Get your self-esteem from within, not without.
Good luck!
2007-01-12 20:14:45 · answer #4 · answered by CYP450 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am a afraid so, he dosen,t what his son to be exposed to people like you. why did you have to change, it would have maybe better if you stayed with the body you were born with, at less that would had been easyer to except you as a lesbian. because you can,t help it but being a ftm that was a choice you made and that,s too hard to except, i had a friend that was a lesbian, so i,m not a stereotype, but he may be. why don,t you see him or phone him.
2007-01-12 20:16:04 · answer #5 · answered by i,m here if you need to talk. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try writing a letter. ask if you could meet your nephew. tell him that you would like to talk or even receive a letter from him. ask him to at the very least write a letter explaining exactly what happened that made him stop talking to you. mention what your dad told you and tell him what you might remember of the situation. don't forget to give him your phone number and send a self-addressed stamped envelope with your letter. this might at least get some type of response. good luck, mark
2007-01-12 20:14:37 · answer #6 · answered by mark h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your brother sounds like an ass. It would appear that he has disowned you as a sister. If he was a good brother he would have treated you better and stayed in touch. I don't know what an FTM is but it sounds complicated and something that I might steer clear of. Maybe he has his reasons that are not so wrong.
2007-01-12 20:09:26 · answer #7 · answered by luker 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
its been 10 yrs already u have done enoughdont u think?? were u lesbian at the time u "tried to pick up his gf"? <-- or so he thought... i dunno..if he dont want to talk to u then he may never get over whatever it is u did...try and think hard about what else may have happened... good luck
2007-01-12 20:07:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds as if its his problem not yours. It sounds like he has a problem with you lifestyle. Its a big shame that he will keep his son from knowing a wonderful family member. Some day he may come to his senses. But you need to move on, let him know you care for him, and leave it at that.
Good luck,
2007-01-12 20:14:25 · answer #9 · answered by gimlost2 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your brother is not the one who is insecure. Its you. You fear what you are so you try to be something that you are not. I really don't blame your brother at all. You need some serious help.
2007-01-12 21:38:40 · answer #10 · answered by ally_oop_64 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋