I'm 28 years old and I love my family very much and we are very close. We go on vacations and have dinners together almost evey Sunday. But I'm starting to feel distant from them, like I don't fit. I feel like I want more. I have grown up, bought a house, and now work in the same city with my family. I feel like I need to get out. My boyfriend is talking about moving to TX and I'm considering it (I live in OH now). It would break my mother's heart. My sisters keep telling me that I won't really do it and that I am too much of a family person. Can I still be a family person if I move? Is it worth losing my boyfriend over? Please help me choose!!!
2007-01-12 11:55:57 · 8 answers · asked by BJ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years and are planning to get engaged and married soon. Deciding to move or not could change that.
2007-01-12 13:53:25 · update #1
Questions to ask yourself: Is your boyfriend there for you all the time? Is he willing to be your family? Does his personality show that he may drop you at anytime? Are you both going to have good jobs in order to travel to see your family during holidays and such?
Most parents raise their kids to grow up and be independent. They would want their girl to be happy. You should spread your wings while you're still young. You don't want to be saying to yourself years from now: "I wish I would have... (etc.)". Get out! See the world! You'll always have a family to come back home to if you need them.
2007-01-12 12:03:30 · answer #1 · answered by Mandy Pandy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being close to your family is nice, not a bad thing, but it seems like you are feeling a need for distance. If you live in a small town I can see why you feel this way. If you live in a big town with things to do, then if you move, you will take this feeling with you. Try to find some new hobbies and interests, and this will help with this feeling. The bf moving is a separate issue. Make sure this relationship is SERIOUS before you even consider following him to TX. Your family would be sad, but parents raise their children realizing they are going to leave some day. Having said that, I will say that 15 years ago I left my hometown to marry and I love my husband and my kids, but after the first 6 months I regretted leaving and still do. Your family is forever and it is hard going through life with a long-distance relationship with my family.
2007-01-12 12:02:04 · answer #2 · answered by Cris O 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First: I wouldn't move with a boyfriend. With a husband, yes, but not with a boyfriend. That's just a common-sense thing; if a person hasn't made the commitment to marriage, why should you make a commitment to moving to another state (unless you wanted to go there anyway, of course)?
Second: as we grow older, we grow apart from our families somewhat. That's normal, natural, and expected. For some people that means living a block away; for others, living in another country. So long as you have a good relationship and visit often, distance isn't particularly important.
2007-01-12 12:04:04 · answer #3 · answered by daveowenville 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can still vacation with your family and you can still visit for holidays or whenever you want to. You can call on email... it is much easier to be a family person at this day in age.
Also, living apart from your family will only make the time that you do get to spend with them more enjoyable. If you don't like living away from them you can always move back.
2007-01-12 12:02:11 · answer #4 · answered by flappymcp 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should leave if you really want to. Don't stay because your family wants you to stay, stay because you want to stay. Take a chance and move to TX, you can always come home if you miss home too much. Besides, moving away from home is a great experience and I think you can learn more about life when you get out of the same old routine.
2007-01-12 12:04:39 · answer #5 · answered by chrissy g 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your right, and you have grown up, and it is your choice, it's not like your moving out of the country right. Now your parents vacations can be to visit you, and same for you to visit them. There is alot more in the world than just OH. I live in Japan (military) and thats pretty far from TN, you only live once so try new things and try to see everything
2007-01-12 12:01:46 · answer #6 · answered by Koolaid1730 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think anyone should move anywhere with a boyfriend, husband maybe, but not a boyfriend. But you should do what you want and not worry about what your family thinks.
2007-01-12 12:01:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Family is important. Who says you and your boyfriend will even last.
2007-01-12 12:00:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋