Serious inquiries only please!?

Question

i HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR THIRTEEN YEARS. I LOVE MY HUSBAND AND HE IS A GOOD MAN AND A GOOD PROVIDER. WE HAVE NO CHILDREN. ABOUT THREE YEARS AGO I MET A WONDERFUL MAN AT WORK AND BEGAN TALKING AND GOT TO KNOW EACH OTHER AT WORK. HE KNEW I WAS MARRIED BUT GAVE ME HIS PHONE NUMBER TO CALL HIM. I KEPT HIS NUMBER IN MY PURSE ABOUT A MONTH AND ONE NIGHT I WAS SITTING HOME LONELY AND FIGURED I WOULD CALL HIM TO CHAT. MY HUSBAND WAS OUT OF TOWN LIKE HE IS PRETTY REGULARLY BECAUSE HE RACES CARS AND ISO I CALLED. HE ASK ME TO MEET HIM, AN I DID. WE HAVE BEEN SEEING EACH OTHER EVERY SINCE THAT NIGHT AND NOW WE ARE IN LOVE. I WANT TO BE WITH HIM BUT CANT STAND THE THOUGHT OF HURTING THE MAN THAT LOVES ME AND HAS BEEN A PART OF MY LIFE SO LONG. I STILL LOVE HIM BUT NOT LIKE I SHOULD. IM TORN AND DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. PLEASE TALK TO ME. IM NOT A BAD PERSON, BUT I MADE A BAD CHOICE THAT I DO NOT REGRET AND NOW IM PAYING FOR IT BECAUSE I FELL IN LOVE AND CANNOT BE WITH HIM. NO MEAN PROPLE PLEASE!!!!

Answer 1

Something new always seems to be better, more fun, and more exciting than what you already have. In the end though, it always turns out to be equal to or less than what you gave up. The initial thrill of the new ALWAYS fades. Take some time to try and reconnect with your husband. It may not be that exciting thrill from years ago but I bet you'll be damn satisfied with the results and yourself. Good luck.

Answer 2

First of all, you should never have called him. You should have thrown the number away.. all marriages go through things.. but it is too late for that now. Coming from a woman whose husband worked out of town a lot, were you just lonely? You should have talked to your husband about that. But now you are in love with someone else. Are you sure? If you are really sure you love this man, then you need to end your marriage. It is not fair to your husband who thinks he has a loving wife. You need to decide what you want and move on it. In situations like this, someone is going to be hurt regardless... Me? I am divorced now. It is very hard to keep a marriage together when you are separated so much due to work. But looking back, now I would prefer that. But when you are young, first real true love (so to speak) we have not lived long enough yet to really know. There are 3 peoples happiness at stake right now. Someone is going to lose that... either way, you need to do this soon, end one or the other. Only you can decide that. I really hope that you will not decide one way or the other based on net opinions.

Answer 3

I would definetly put a lot of thought into exactly what you want to do. If you are really ready to take that gamble then break it off with your husband. But don't tell him you are cheating. Just tell him you have fallen out of love with him. If your husband is a really good and trusting man then don't put him through that pain. But what makes you think when he goes out of town he isn't cheating on you? But remember 13 years is a big sacrifice so just be sure. And if that's what you want to do then leave him, but if you tell him you are cheating there is no turning back. I know it might sound a bit dishonest but what you have already done is dishonest so you might as well finish it out and see where it goes. Or you can say you want a break trying being with that guy and see how you feel

Answer 4

same thing i am in. except she is engaged. there was a reason why your eyes started to wonder, and thats because your MAN was never around. now i dont think that you are a bad person from doing that, but i do think you really need to sit down and weigh all the options in this case. you have to think with what is going to make you happy..can you imagine living with guy #2, and can you see the future with him. can he chance if you two lived together down the road?

see people fall out of love, and yes things do happen, but why be miserable for the rest of your life if your not happy now? i wouldnt dare tell your husband why or how, but, do what your heart is saying. if you can see your life with guy #2, then guy #1 has to go, no matter how nice he is. my situation, she is going to get married, and we love each other. we have had sex (making love actually) and everything else a healtly relationship should be. her finance is a joke, and doesnt care, never there, no affection, and a part of you lacked all the physical things b/c he wasn't there. the choice should be easy. your heart is what you listen to, and i think its best to go with the person you love and roll the dice instead of playing it safe. you will be miserable for years to come, b/c you didnt take that one chance - called love. good luck

Answer 5

I think you already know what THE RIGHT thing to do is. I mean, it's pretty obvious. Do you want to be w/ a man that would ask out a married woman? How would you feel about going out w/ him knowing that little detail??

I understand being loney, but it sounds like you are insecure. You need flattery and affection to feel good about yourself. I'm not saying you're a terrible person...but it is quite selfish. I'm sorry. You allowed yourself to do those things, and this is what came of it.

Keeping a marriage is tough. Nobody said it was easy. You should not fight temptation. You should avoid it. Not to impose my religion, but that is in the Bible. If you don't stay true to your vows, you basically lie. Correct?

Let me just say...i'm engaged. i have learned that being married does not change the fact that you find other ppl attractive. the difference is, you say--wow, that's a beautiful man/woman....then you think about the one you have...then you think of how much better you feel having the one you married...then the other one doesn't look so good to you any more.

You have the ability to make a choice right now to end it. It will be hard....you may worry that "you'll always wonder"....but you know, you're better than that. You're better than a man who asks out a married woman. You need to know that YOU are better than that. And which deserves what you have to offer more?

In 10 yrs...you may find yourself in the same place w/ this other man. Marriage is not 'dating around'. Marriage is being thankful for what you have, looking beyond lust, and staying true to your word.

Do other things to feel good. Get a new outfit that you look super sexy in. Get your nails done. Buy some makeup. GO ON VACATION if you're lonely. Most importantly, if you're not going to tell your husband for fear of hurting him....dont make him look bad anymore. Make a promise to yourself to stop or let him go. If you can't be the woman he needs you to be, he deserves to find one that does.

Good luck to you! I hope you make the right decision.

And evaluate all points of your life...decide why you feel like you need this other man and try to correct it....as one last chance.

Answer 6

I think if I were you I would let my husband go or end the affair. If you honestly don't love your husband anymore you should move on and give him the chance to find someone like you found someone. It will be hard for both you and your husband but especially since you don't have children, I don't see any point in staying in a marriage with someone that has become your second choice. If I was your husband, I would want to be your first choice or move on and be someone elses first choice. Good Luck

Answer 7

I will not be mean to you but that is also my problem now.I want you to stop at once your relationship with this man.You will hurt your husband too much.But if you are ready to face the consequences then go on. Your husband love you so much for 13 years without a child.If for anybody else their are already divorce but you and your hubby kept each other.So please stay away from the other man. I know that you are not bad person but we have to sacrifice sometimes our self just to let our husband happy. God bless us hope you will think it over.

Answer 8

I actually have considered the solutions that both Christians and atheists placed up. we are referred to as to love one yet another. Being humble previously the Lord is a procedures more desirable major than being correct and/or "prevailing" a controversy. i became damaged through volatile words that were spoken to me as a baby and a teens and we'd want to continuously all talk the truth in love Ephesians 4:15 What bothers me is the hostility I actually have considered in this board through both Christians and atheists. Atheists I do pray for and that i also pray that we would all recognize the wear and tear of negative and oppressive words wither in spoken form, written form, e-mail form or subsequently posting form. God bless :)

Answer 9

Just leave. The longer you wait the harder it will be and it is soooooooooo much more disrespectful to stay and continue what you're doing then it is to leave and be with this other person.

Answer 10

You're a slut!I hope your husband finds out about your affair and throw your *** on the street!