I reeeeeeaaaallllly need help with this poem again!!!?

Question

ok thanx for helping me on my last poem this is still the same one but i came up with

Do you remember when we hel hands under the stars?
and when i cry you cry too


any advice on what i should do? like i'm trying to describe something with blood drops like wrist cutting when your mad like i did when we held hands under the stars and now i need something for wrist cutting blood tears or whatever cause my brains not working!!! haha :)

(only 4 first 2 comments) well you know some people do cut and i'm writing about it because some people are out there who do this sh** so if u don't like it whatever cause i don't like you

*** the narrorator wants to cut because its and addiction that she got into and she has no way of getting out of her depression so she cuts and her bf stops her from it as they love each other he broke up with her because of it

Answer 1

Do you remember when we held hands under the stars?
You made me feel like I had no scars.
Remember when I shared my darkest moments with you?
You held me underneath the stars and you cried too.
Whatever happened to those days when you said you will love always,
now, i feel as if we have no place . . . .

Hope that helps

Answer 2

Hmm... Yes, you need serious help.

Interesting that you chose hel as something to do with your hands. She is the norse goddess of death, but I suppose that would fit in with slitting your wrists under the stars, which I hope was purely metaphorical. I mean, that's not a terribly effective means of suicide and it screws up how your wrists look later.

Have you ever considered writing in blank verse?

Also, if you're going to do suicidal things, you might consider hypothermia. I hear the Laps from Norway commit suicide this way when they get too old so they are not a burden on their children. They basically go out in the depths of winter to die from the cold. It takes a while, but you feel warm as your internal body temperature drops, so it's macho and comfortable at the same time.

Of course, you're probably not thinking about how many other guys you could get and that there are probably better ones out there. So quit being a dork about the suicide crap, ok?

Ok, but even if the boyfriend stops her, what you're describing is an emotionally abusive relationship. I don't think anyone really likes that.

I think if you are really feeling heartbroken, then the hypothermia and Hel bit makes more sense. You could use imagery like how it feels like an ice cold knife is stabbed into your heart and how your world has gone all cold and incoherent. If you were a guy, you could talk about how it feels like now Hel has become your new love and it's like you can feel the chilling grasp of her hand in yours sometimes... or that her frigid hands caress your heart. Does that describe it? And maybe your guy returning can be like springtime coming back to thaw out your soul and let hope grow again....

Sheesh. Does that ever sound cheesy, huh?

Answer 3

your idea sounds morbid. why would you write a poem about cutting your wrists and having blood drops and blood tears? that sounds like a horrible poem.

I agree GET COUNSELING!

Answer 4

why does the narrorter want to cut there hands

Answer 5

WEN U THINK I THINK ABOUT U AND WEN U SMILE U BRITEN MY DAY THINK ABOUT ME IN UR DREAMS AND UR ONLY THOUGHTS AND WONDER....AM I THINKN.....

Answer 6

I think you should get counseling.