Seriously, I have HUGE difficulties getting over my ex.
He clearly does not give a damn about me, and never did! I feel like an idiot, but I just can't stop thinking about him.
Please, please, please, do you have any good strategies how to put this to an end, I am desperate! It is just like the more he humiliates me and diminishes me the more I am hung up on him.
I know what I should do (just move on) but how?????
Only serious responses please....
2007-01-12 11:18:36 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have exhausted all of my friends by now. It has been 5 months since we broke up!
Trust me, I know I am being stupid, but when I see him or have an opportunity to talk to him, I just give in to the immediate impulse to do so.......
2007-01-12 11:38:41 · update #1
Oh and when I do talk to him, he ju st makes it clear that he never gave a sh*** about me...... it was just sex...
If it was someone esle and I was giving advice I would say ''He's not worth it, have some self-respect, get a life''
The situation is sooo frustrating, I know what I should do, but I cannot do it!
2007-01-12 11:43:46 · update #2
Hey everyone! Thank you very much for your advice, it really helped a lot.....I feel much better now. In fact I can't even decide on the best one, so I guess I'll just leave it up to public vote:)
For those who think he is a jerk, you could not be more right!Took me a while to see it though, but some of your comments opened my eyes to things I have not been able to see before.
Oh and I live in London, but I must say I am tempted to move to Cincinnati now, that coffee and muffin offer sounds just great ;-)
Thanx again everyone, your honest advice is much appreciated.........xxx
Nat
2007-01-13 02:08:40 · update #3
Join an activity. Spend time w/ friends and family. Spend time on yourself, shop for clothes, get a hair cut, get your make up done, take a bubble bath listening to light hearted music. Do THINGS, don't just sit around thinking about him- especially if you know he's not thinking of you.
2007-01-12 11:21:05 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
In that case it isn't possible for you to have contact, it's a shame but sometimes you can't be friends afterwards. You need to go cold turkey and have nothing to do with him for atleast three or four months, six would be better. After a few weeks everyday you'll feel a tiny bit better untill eventually you'll be whole again, or almost whole, the worst ones you never truly get over, you kinda just do your best to work around that locked away part of your heart. But trust me, you do feel better again and life is bright again. Then after the 'mourning period' if it's unnavoidable seeing this guy again you'll be in a position to do so and you'll be fine doing it, although it sounds like he's a bit of a d*ck so I wouldn't bother if I were you. That's the only way he may learn the error of his ways too.....
2007-01-12 20:51:44 · answer #2 · answered by T M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know how hard it is to give up someone u love who doesn't feel the same towards u anymore. Believe me u'll get over it later than sooner but u must attempt to go on with ur life. Start seeing old friends or make new ones by getting back into the social scene real fast. Start dating again with compatible guys who r nice and not just after a booty call, many of us r still out here, nice guys that is. do constructive things with ur idle time get rid of everything he ever gave u everything. Don't keep a single thing that will remind u that he was ever in ur life. Get rid of pictures of u and him or of him. Keep no memories of ur past kill him off spiritually and hge'll soon die physically and emotionally as far as u r concerned. Constant reminders only bring back the pain of his disloyalty to u. God bless and good hunting for Mr. Right cuz he obviously wasn't Mr. Right for u.
2007-01-12 19:55:04 · answer #3 · answered by papabeartex 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I got out of a seriously horrible 2 year relationship where my ex treated me like crap about 2 years ago. I couldn't get over her and did whatever she said. I was too hung up on her, I thought... but what it ended up being was that I was too hung up on being alone. I know that this sounds stupid, but I am just telling you what I did. I found the person that I had been waiting for and was able to use that to finally get away from her in my heart. Once I was in love with someone else (which didn't take too long at all) it was over in me for her. You MUST let yourself get attached, though. You MIGHT end up being hurt by the new person, but it will be easier to walk away from them and start over again.
2007-01-12 19:23:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes the person we think about most is not the person we like, but the person that hurts us the most. From what u're sayin, it sounds like you've already gotten over him. you're only still thinking of him cuz it still hurts & of course it does, cuz it's not easy for the heart to heal, but it can. & U will find a guy that truely cares for U and treat U with the respect U deserve. Then all this wont matter anymore & you'll be thankful that it's over with this guy. I know it's not easy, but cheer up. It's obvious that you don't like him or want to be with him anymore, so why let him get to you now? Remember, the only person that's worth your tears is the 1 that would never want to hurt you. Best of luck to you XXXXXXX
2007-01-12 19:37:47 · answer #5 · answered by Fallen 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know its hard and it just gets worse when u see him withe other girls. it might take you a while to get over him but that all depends on your situation. whatever u do dont let yourself be desperate and clingy, then no one else will want to be with you. find a cute guy that u wouldnt mind going out with, even if you dont like him a lot. as long as theres an attraction theres potential. the best thing to do is to just stay away from your ex, for good. dont even try to be friends with him, at least for now. it might give you false hope. hope this helps and hope everything works out.
2007-01-12 19:25:07 · answer #6 · answered by b2k4ever08 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get your hands busy, get your mind busy.
Latch onto an activity or hobby you've always wanted to do and were too busy to dive into.
Write, but not poetry. Write letters to grandparents, relatives, friends, etc.
Search the Internet on history facts, myths or dive into creating a family tree.
Join a club or activity, but do something you've always wanted to do. Don't buy romance novels, buy a book on something that can really grab your interest.
If that fails and you're religious, pray and ask for patience, love and comfort... Not just for you, but all your family members, friends and associates.
Best of luck!
2007-01-12 19:32:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You must try to force yourself to start looking at and flirting with other guys. You also need to find a constructive way to clear your anger like exercise. Also change your look so that you feel like a different person than when you were with him. Finally, think about what you would tell your future kid, if you had one with him, about why she has such a **** for a father and why didn't you move on when you had the chance!
2007-01-12 19:22:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Girl you seem like you need serouse help so let me tell you like i tell all my other friends. Yes, you can mop around for a while but sooner or later you are going to have to get over him. Just think about it you are DESPRITE for this guy. if you guys were ment for each other you will probably still be together. And you will make it through the hard times and the good times. but you didn't (sorry to say) so get over him. And move on with your wounderful life and sooner or later you will see that you are better off with out him in your life. And yes he still has filling for you
( NOT a lot maybe just a little). sooner or later he will probably see that you guys were ment to be together after all but by they he see's that you are going to be over him and he is going to want you back. !!!!!
2007-01-12 19:32:10 · answer #9 · answered by kay kay 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
OK, ready for this? I have some ideas and I am serious.
1) Write your ex a letter, but don't send it. Write down how you feel, the hurts you have from your relationship, get everything off your chest. Then, instead of mailing it, burn it.
2) Give up this problem to God. Sometimes, we want things our way, even if it doesn't work. Surrender this problem and put it up on the shelf for God to take care of.
Remember, when God shuts a door, he opens a window. God has someone else out there that is perfect for only you, so be patient, it will happen. I know you feel bad right now, but this too shall pass. Best wishes for you.
2007-01-12 19:22:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Move on.... If he treated you poorly in the relationship and continues to do so now, you need to cut bait. How to do so depends upon your personal psyche. Do you like movies, excercise, reading, s*x....? Pick a substitute and focus on it for a bit. Cheer up and good luck. If you live near Cincinnati, I'll buy you a cup of Starbucks and a muffin.
2007-01-12 19:22:49 · answer #11 · answered by Hide the room... 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋