why do I have such a fear of committment?
2007-01-12 10:47:02 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
One of two things:
1) You're not ready to commit your life to someone yet. You want to get out there and meet more people.
2) You haven't met a person worthy of committing to.
Either way, nothing's wrong with you. Its just that you feel pressure from a society that says that if you don't have a significant other, then you're weird. Trust me, when you find the person that is worthy of commitment, you won't be afraid to commit to them. Part of the reason that the divorce rate in the country is so high is that people commit to someone that isn't right for them. In that sense, you're more normal than 40% of the population that settled for less than they wanted in a committed relationship.
Get out there and have a good time girl, you don't need to worry about a long term relationship until you're looking for a husband, and if you're worried about fearing commitment, that's quite a ways away. You're most likely going to spend the last half of your life with the same person, you might as well go out there and meet everyone else besides that person now.
2007-01-12 10:53:50 · answer #1 · answered by Takfam 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To an extent, everyone has a fear of committment. It's human nature to be wary of a new situation.
Further, we are pressured from childhood by the media and society to see committment as 'GOOD' and more importantly to think that a relationship that doesn't work is 'FAILURE'
Don't believe it. If you put that kind of pressure upon yourself, and hence your relationship, it'll be much harder to make it work.
Committment is something you work at, something the two of you CHOOSE to make important. Each day you choose that person again, you become more committed.
And if that relationship doesn't' work, and one day you choose to walk away- that's as important and powerful as staying.
Don't mistake committment for apathy, compromise, or fear. Many people feel those, and call it commitment.
So, nothing is wrong with you.
2007-01-12 10:56:58 · answer #2 · answered by ColourSchemer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont really know you, but I'll take a try. Nothing's really wrong with you. Everybody goes through this sage and it's up to you to stop it. You either are afraid of commitment because of something that happened to you in the past, little or big. You can also be afriad because you have a low self esteem, even if you don't realize it, and you have this crazy notion in your head that you're not lovable enough for long. You may think that it's okay now, but won't he get tired of me if we're in a relationship for long or you just don't want to be commited to the one right now. What you can do, is think about which one applies to you and find a way to get over it befor you hurt the one you love, because maybe you'll love another person so much that you do'nt want to be away from them and they'll tell you that they arent ready to commit. Commitment isn't bad. Good luck.
2007-01-12 11:01:20 · answer #3 · answered by Girl-In-Blue 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
probably because you been hurt in the past & that your afraid of getting hurt again. You also probably have a hard time trusting because of the past. The only thing you can do to solve this problem is to forget the past, because it is THE PAST. The more you hold on to it, the more it will hold you back from moving on into the future & that's what you always want to do is TO MOVE FORWARD towards the future. Just because a past commitment didn't work out, it does not mean this next one won't. You should give it a chance because you never know what you could be missing out on.
GOOD LUCK!
2007-01-12 11:14:54 · answer #4 · answered by sugarBear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you're afraid of the person you are committing too. If so, whenever you have free time, sit down and just imagine what the perfect guy would be for you. Now keep away from looks. I mean you may want somebody who looks good, but a six pack shouldn't be very important to you. Anyway, once you really find out what the perfect guy for you would be, you keep your eyes open for him. Once he's there you will hopefully want to commit because you know things will work out since he is pretty much perfect for you.
2007-01-12 10:54:15 · answer #5 · answered by Dido 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there are alot a reasons to fear commiments some people are scared cuz they had a bad realtionship with a pearnt(s), some people are scared cuz they have lost some one they love some are just not ready yet but i will tell you this no matter how much you think you are not ready for a comminment or you are scared when you find the right one you will commit it just isnt your time yet good luck:) love has a funny way of sneaking up on you when you least expect it
2007-01-12 10:55:13 · answer #6 · answered by brown_eyedgurl22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of people have a fear of commitment. Maybe it is just because you haven't found the right person. When that person does come along, commitment will come easily and without effort.
2007-01-12 10:50:17 · answer #7 · answered by shallybles 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If it is because you have been hurt in the past it is hard to move on. You have to take chances to find the right guy. I had a problem trusting men. I knew I had to take chances and now I am in a wonderful relationship with my man.
Good luck.
2007-01-12 10:53:00 · answer #8 · answered by moo shell 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it is not that, i think you are afraid if you put yourself out there then you will get hurt and feel all vulnerable and stuff. the only way to know for sure is to take a chance and go for it. leave your fears behind you will find your dream guy.
2007-01-12 10:52:42 · answer #9 · answered by CHI U 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bcuz it's not 4 u right now.
2007-01-12 10:49:23 · answer #10 · answered by Richkat76 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋