I am 38y.o. Going on 10 yrs in 2nd marraige, very very happy. My husband is 45 yr with 2 kids ages 22 & 20. They both live on their own. My first husband could not have children due to childhood illnesses, low sperm count etc. We tried a short time then, accepted it. Then when I got involved with my current husband we had a long talk during our dating period and he expressed that he was pretty much done having kids, but he loved me and would have more if I wanted to. I actually am REALLY REALLY OK with not having children. My family is also fine with it. BUT... Several friends and co-workers act like it is a crime for a woman not to have children! They chastise me and go on and on about how "it's not natural to not want children" In my opinion I just think it was not meant to be. I love my life with just my hubby and me. Plus I have several nieces and nephews whom I love very much. And my step-kids are great I love them also!!
2007-01-12 10:39:41 · 38 answers · asked by planty 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I have two children and it's great, but that doesn't mean it's great for you!! Don't let others tell you what is right or wrong for your life. Have children because you want to have children not because that's what friends and society tells you to do. You already are a mother a step-mother, and an Aunt. So be the best at that, which I'm sure you already are. It's totally fine not to have children, you have your life and you and your husband are happy that is what matters. Keep your head up girl, and don't let others tell you what to do or make you feel bad about your decision!!
2007-01-12 11:01:57 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You do have kids. They are not your natural children and you didn't raise them but you sound like you have a great family. My brother doesn't want children. I have 3. He loves his nieces and nephew dearly. I think it's great because when he and his woman want there kid fix they come take them for the weekend and I get a break.. there is nothing unnatural about not wanting a baby of your own. If you were gay they wouldn't even mention this to you so tell those people to leave you alone..
2007-01-12 10:50:42 · answer #2 · answered by Chrissy #1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not your friends or co-workers place to judge you, I myself made the choice not to have children, some may call it selfish or think there is something wrong with it. I feel it to be a responsible decision, no one knows you better than yourself and if you do not feel the need in having children then that is what is best for you. Maybe you could just tell the people who don't understand that we are just all different and it would be unfair for you to bring a child into the world when that is not what is in your heart. You could also tell them that the expense for a child also adds up to some really nice vacations, then let them think what they want.
2007-01-12 10:48:33 · answer #3 · answered by preshus 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No it is not wrong to not want to have children. It is your body, your life and not having children should be your choice. What your friends and co workers say is wrong. It IS natural to not want to have children if you are so inclined. Maybe they are just jealous that you will be missing the late night wake ups, the temper trantrums the naughty behavior the headaches they have put themselves through by being parents. LOL
2007-01-14 13:35:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not wanting, or having children is perfectly OK!
People will chastise you, because they don’t realize not having children is an option. Lets face it, most people don’t plan children. They just have them because they don’t think before they have sex. In their minds the kids just showed up by surprise. So naturally they think that having children is just going to happen and that is the way it is. They think there is something wrong with you because you didn’t have an “ooops”. It is that simple.
My girlfriend and I are both voluntarily sterilized. We don’t want kids. Stupid people call us names, or crap like that. But, that is their problem, not ours. Like we care how they feel about it.
2007-01-13 03:39:40 · answer #5 · answered by Marvin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, its not wrong. Not every woman wants kids. Dont let them like you feel like that. Its just as natural as them wanting them. They are very closed minded to say its not natural. And you should tell them that. You are happy with your husband, just you and him (thats beautiful by the way that you are so happy) and you are surrounded with kids to spoil and love. So if you 100% dont want a baby then be happy with that decision and dont be swayed. Enjoy your nieces, nephews and your child free life. A baby brings lots of joy, but so does a child free life. :) So enjoy!
2007-01-12 10:49:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is not wrong at all. That is the way that you feel. If you don't want to have any kids then that is your decision. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. If you and your husband is fine with it then that is perfectly okay. Good luck to the both of you.
2007-01-12 10:52:18 · answer #7 · answered by Andy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are many happy women out there that don't have child, for the simple fact they don't want them. It is a descision for you and your husband and the friends and co workers need to mind their own business. Next time they say something, just say I have two wonderful children, my stepchildren and thats all I need.
2007-01-12 10:52:09 · answer #8 · answered by The Invisible Woman 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with not wanting to have children...Anyway, the older you get the harder it is on a womans body to have children, and birth defects are most likely to occur....Even with todays medicine....it is not easy...
So do not let anyone make you feel any less a woman...I think you are more of a woman if you admit that you do not want children....Stick to you views...To have children just becuase you are a woman..is no reason to have children.
2007-01-12 10:49:54 · answer #9 · answered by Mechelle C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is absolutely nothing wrong with chosing not have kids. It better to make a decision to NOT have any, than to just jump into it with out thinking it through. Children are alot of work, physically and emotionally. I think it's a great decision if it's right with you. It's no one elses business what you decide. Enjoy your life with your husband and live it to the fullest!!
Good luck.
2007-01-12 10:48:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋