Don't know what too do....Advice please?

Question

Hi guys, I really need help. No one has time to listen to me at all. I know that might sound selfish and i know that other people also have problems so its hard. But, I am going through so much at the moment. My father was diagnosed with heart and kidney failure last summer, lots of companies are requesting money from me at the moment from electricity to council tax etc and I am not working, I am finding it so hard to find a job and when I do land myself a job, problems always happen when I am working so I have to quit....for example, was in this job last october, was nice boring but nice however my father became really ill which resulted me in quitting as i had to look after my father. my dad is now out of the country and has been for 3months. All of a sudden, tonight i became really frustrated, hurt and upset and i just feel trapped!tried talking to my boyfriend but he has problems of his own and so he cant listen to mine :( am so confused! any advice???

thanks guys for ur nice answers....i just wanted to add and am not asking for sympathy but my mum also died 5years ago so i cant talk to her....am just also scared to lose my dad and i feel that everything is really messed up at the moment!

Answer 1

You're not confused. Just stressed. I too have been in a similar situation, more than one and I know the stress can kill you! And the only advice I can offer is "one day at a time". Make it through today and know that somehow someway you will make it - you always do don't you? And try to remember that all you are going through makes you stronger, wiser, more appreciative, etc. Pray and talk to God. He always listens.

"don't tell God how big your storm is - tell your storm how big your God is".

Many blessings to you and your family. Things will work out - hang in there.

PS - When I was 14 I lost my dad, at 28 my mom, at 33 my son. . . .it is very sad and very scary . . . but the death of both my mom and then my son was a wake up call as far as spirituality goes (too young at 14 for me to really Grasp) You have to let go of your fear of your dad dying (of course I know you can't completely let it go . .) and prepare yourself for the possibility. . . always remember death is like going from one room to the next. Life continues, just not here. When your time comes, you too will go that "room" and will be with your Mom & Dad again. :)

Answer 2

I'm sorry your boyfriend is being a little bit selfish at the moment. Some times all you need is a sympathetic ear for a few moments,you know a trouble shared is a trouble halved and all that as for your money problems ring these people and tell them your situation they are not too bad and more than likely will be able to help you in some way. If the need arises again to look after your father instead of quiting your job see if you can take leave of absence and while caring for him contact your benefit office to see what you can claim such as carers allowance you may be surprised. I hope everything works out for you best of luck.

Answer 3

Take one step at a time , go to the people you owe money too ,talk out your situation , surely when you do this you are seen to be doing your best, and they will come up with an arrangement that will suit you both , and thirdly dump that boyfriend ,anyone that is not there when you need them , someone that can share your problem's with and to talk too , you don 't need that on top of your own , thing's will get better for you as long as you are not carrying an unnessary load . The best day's work you will do on monday is go and make an appointment and talk to the electricity co. and other's .good luck .

Answer 4

My heart goes out to you. My dad was diagnosed with cancer before christmas so I know how you feel. The best advise is to look to your circle of friends. They will be the ones to help you through this. We have a saying in Ireland that you cant take knickers off a bare ***, so get in touch with the people you owe money and explain your circumstances. Offer some payment towards your debt and try to set up an instalment plan that you can keep to. Include a small payment towards the debts as a gesture of good faith. If they end up refusing and taking you to court, there is a very good chance that the court will look upon your payment as a willingness to pay and will side with you. Keep your chin up.

Answer 5

First thing to do Monday go to the citizens advice centre explain to them what the problem is. Take along any bill demands and proof of income they will advise you on what and who to phone write too. Ask what money you are entitled too.Call the people you owe money too explain you are not working and you are trying to sort it out always keep one step ahead of them. Is your father still ill if not call him tell him you are struggling and could he help you in any way after all you gave up your work for his health. Sit down and talk to your boyfriend talk about both your problems and try and find a solution to help both of you. You are in a relationship support each other give him a little reminder. most of all dont panic keep calm and keep smiling.

Answer 6

Things will get easier. You have got to take each day as it comes.. Nothing is never as bad as it seems. Have you any other family members to share your worries or responsibilities as it seems unfair as you have to carry the burden.. Have a chat with social services to give you some help financially. You would qualify for certain benefits..Such as council tax..Job seekers allowance or carers allowance. Write a short letter to the companies you owe money to and explain your situation. It will bide some time until you get on your feet...Citizens advice bureau is another place you could ask for advice. . Stay calm and soon everything will get sorted with a little help and determination from yourself..

Answer 7

Don't take this the wrong way, I'm not trying to be sarcastic (and believe me, I can be sarcastic)... but if the way you write reflects the way you talk, then I think you're a little manic and could use a psychiatrist (or at least a psychologist with a psychiatrist to prescribe Paxil and/or lithium). Your problems are real, the stuff of life, but they won't always be so much, so frequent, all at once. Main thing is that you need to get a measure of control over how you react to these, so please seek medical help for anxiety/depression. It really will help all around.

Good luck!

Answer 8

Well, you can't fix many of these problems, so you have to find a way to deal with them better. Get a book out of the library about meditation. This can help you calm down and focus on the things that you can do to make your life better. Also, if you can afford it, a yoga class can be wonderful to relieve stress. Yoga and meditation have been used by people for thousands of years, so they can probably help you too.

Answer 9

hey honey,hope things will pick up for you,at the mo i think you need some help from local or goverment programs to help you deal with your problems,life can be hard to deal with when you got so many things going on at once but you have to learn that these things have happened in life and won't always be this hard.you will get through this hard time and it will make you a stronger person,think possitive which can be hard and believe in your self,all the best and may god be with you! xxx

Answer 10

hi Hun, iv been through similar problems myself and i understand its hard i found it alot harder than anybody new about so i went to see my doctor ,I'm not the sort of person that likes to talk about my problems but it really helped to talk and with people after money try going to the citizens advice and if your out of work maybe you need to get help from the government you can get help with housing benefits and council tax and with water and TV licence e.c.t you can go onto payment schemes you don't need to take on the whole world by yourself you just need to ask the correct people for help.