we have asked our roommates to pick up their trash and stuff, but they rarely do. What can we do to solve this problem? I'm going to start putting all their crap on their bed, or stack it in front of their door, is that wrong?
2007-01-12 10:09:05 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Everyone has different standards. What seems slobby to one person may be completely normal to another. A lot of stems from what sort of household we were brought up in and how our parents socialized us. How to handle it depends a lot on the personalities involved. If you really can't stand the mess, putting the 'crap' in front of the door might not be a bad idea. Entering their bedroom to put stuff on the bed probably would not be appropriate, as they might say you invaded their privacy.
If they don't wash dishes etc, asking them to do it is not going to work with slobs. They will just do the task so badly you will wish you hadn't asked and will wind up having to do it yourself anyway. So that's a job you are probably going to have to live with.
My advice ... try putting stuff in front of the door and do your best to live with the mess until the lease is up, then reassess the situation. My experience tells me that there are worse kinds of roommates than messy people .. some people can be really mean and unkind and - believe me- that can be ten times worse.
2007-01-12 11:02:39 · answer #1 · answered by Cait D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't seem to me that putting the stuff in front of the door will help anything. They might resent that you put it there and leave it there out of spite, which will make you mad every time you see the pile that's still there. So nobody's happy, and the place is still a mess. I'd say do one of the following:
1. Move to a different apartment with different roommates who live by similar standards to yours.
2. Get used to the mess, and just keep your bedroom, etc. clean.
3. Do dishes and pick up just because it makes you feel better, even though it isn't "fair" that you do it all the time.
4. I would have never thought of hiring a maid or a housekeeper, but I think it sounds like a good idea.
By the way, I think that one thing that might help with the dishes is having less dishes. If there are only enough plates, forks etc. that people can eat only a couple of meals before they need a clean plate or utensil, they will do dishes out of necessity simply because they need to eat. You will still have a pile of dishes, but it will be smaller.
Perhaps your roommates are the kind of people who would throw the trash in the can if there were a can handy. Does your roommate have a favorite spot to sit while watching TV, for example? Perhaps he would throw trash in a can within arm's reach of that spot, but just doesn't want to get up and throw it away in another place. This is a form of "bringing the mountain to Mohammed", I guess.
Also, you can create a job chart, with different responsibilities for each person for each day and week. This must be created with the agreement of each person so that nobody can say they didn't agree to it. That means that you consult together and create a system that you all think is fair, not one that's just imposed by you on your roommates. Be sure to build in a system of rewards. That is, when the jobs get done on time, you can all put a little money into a jar or something that you can all use to go out to dinner at the end of the week. Something like that.
And speaking of rewards, make sure that you aren't unwittingly reinforcing the behavior. An example I know is about a husband and wife -- the wife asks the husband to take the trash out and he says, "in a minute" and she repeats the request, and so on, until he finally takes it out. This is actually rewarding for both people -- the wife was rewarded because the trash got taken out, so she knows that nagging will work, and the husband got reinforced because he got the nagging to stop. To break this kind of a cycle, you can make a point not to nag and also pay careful attention and make sure to praise a roommate whenever he does something that approximates the behavior you want. For example, if you notice that he picked up his trash after he finished watching TV you can say, "Thanks for picking that up." This reinforces the behavior positively rather than negatively.
2007-01-13 02:08:54 · answer #2 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a maid. I have 2 roommates and we have a maid come every other week. That costs us $50 each per month, which is nothing, and it totally erases all drama about the cleanliness of the house and whose turn it is to do what. On top of that, your house is spring clean every 2 weeks! Highly recommended!
2007-01-12 19:10:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
slobs with be slobs no matter how many times you tell them to pick up after them self they won't so get a new roommate or move out. Most mess people are like that for life, that all tells you something about them, they are unorganize, not depenable, don't want to take responsibily.
2007-01-12 18:35:02 · answer #4 · answered by rma2ks 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Put hair remover in their shampoo.
When they start picking up the hair that fell out, suggest they pick up the rest of their **** as well.
2007-01-16 12:33:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Kick them out
2007-01-12 18:54:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all. Do it a few times and perhaps they will learn. Good Luck..
2007-01-12 18:18:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hell no it's the only way they're gonna learn.
2007-01-13 00:50:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dump garbage all over their bed.
2007-01-12 18:35:45 · answer #9 · answered by Josef F 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋