how long to build my self esteem?

Question

i have been doing councelling for about 2 months now and i know a lot more about how to raise my self esteem and am doing what the councellor tells me.. but i only feel a tiny difference.. sometimes i feel really up u know high self esteem but tht is only a little of the time and then anything can happen like a person at college chooses to be cold with me or jst nythin like tht.. then my self esteem shoots down..
also is thinkin and cryin about yourself havin low self esteem makin the problem worse? coz thts all i think about all day.
thnks

my self esteem is nothin to do witht the way i look.. am not boastin but i am very attractive.. but its to do with me as a person.. am true scared to show my true self coz i dnt like it.. i think its silly.. and well i dont feel as important as every1 else.. i feel like this most of the time in social situations...

Answer 1

Heres some advice that my 2nd grader gave to me. Inside our heads lives a little monster. He eats all those nasty things we say to ourselves everyday. We aren't good enough, tall enough, skinny enough, pretty enough, whatever. But the more of that kind of thinking we give him to eat the bigger and meaner he gets. You have to stop feeding him. The positive things we say to ourselves such as wow, you did it, look at you, your great, I can't believe you did it, keep going. These things make him shrink and disappear. Lesson here: Don't feed the monster!!!

Answer 2

Katie the position ever you're and regardless of you're doing keep you head severe and also you decrease back immediately. Smile for all time. those are the newbie steps to self esteem and severe shallowness. If conversations are complicated - basically nod and smile. Take those severe concepts and say "good day basically carry on there" sure as if you're having a converstion with your self, and say something positve. Even the smallest of effective concepts can erase a mess of negative concepts, because they reason you to grin and ultimately study countless humorous issues, watch cartoons, something that makes you experience solid. truly fall in love with you, like there's no the following day. Why? you're unique! You should intensify the effective attitude all a thanks to the moon driving on a silver street created from stars! Get on board and savour the journey.

Answer 3

GEE!! It sounds like you have more of a depression problem than a self esteem problem. Honestly. Check into that more. Hey, its normal for people to go up and down. We all go through it, but each person deals with it a certain way. But about your self esteem, your a target..people can see and read a person with low self esteem and that can usually be REALLY irritating. Being around someone like that, you have to always baby sit them and trying to make them confertable and so on, and that can become a drag after a while. You can go to counseling for years, but that is something they cannot give to you..you have to give it to yourself, no friend, or love or doctor is gonna hand you self esteem..if you don't think your beautiful no one else will, if you think your boring and no one wants to hang out with you, well..you probley are..do something about it. People that have very low self esteem usually sucks the energy out of me. But..if this is just a passing phase in your life..you'll be ok. But remember what I said, people get annoyed by it after a while. And if you have a friend to talk to about it, do it. A good friend will listen. But hon..its all up to you..stop dwelling about it and do something about it.YOU not the doctors or counselors..but YOU!

Answer 4

so! as a youth you were verbally abused probably by a person trying to give you the effect of both sides and now the under the fingernail approach is causing your immediate psyche an imballance over weighted to the opposite of your own beautiful standard you set to dress yourself too every day. Relax read about people who had been in concentration camps and see what self esteem theycame back with and know you are lucky to be you and alive.

Answer 5

I'm glad to hear that you're going to counseling. These are questions you should be asking your counselor. Self esteem issues just don't happen overnight and can't be cured overnight. It can take a lifetime to overcome issues like this. Keep doing what your counselor tells you . Take time each day to honor yourself. In time, you will begin to believe it and eventually you will own it! And don't let other people's actions influence how you feel about yourself. Have you talked to your counselor about depression. If you spend a lot of time crying about this, then I would ask her if you may be depressed. Good luck and remember baby steps...

Answer 6

I had this problem too a couple years back. I just basically did things for myself and forgot about what other people thought. Try getting a new hairstyle or something that flatters your face or take a little extra time with makeup (if you wear it). Just do what you like and what you think looks good. I had to stop thinking of all the bad things people had said and look at what I saw in myself, personality and outside.

Answer 7

Here is something to think about. Crying does help and you should not be ashamed to show emotions.

What you should do is seek to improve yourself! Look at why you think other people don't like you and fix it! That should not be hard to do, if it is looks, that may be hard depending on who you are. Point being you shouldn't hang around someone that judges you based purely on looks, those are snobs.

I suggest you just try to do an analysis of yourself. No counselor will help you fix that, your just spending money on something you can do yourself!

Good luck! If you need help you are free to contact me

Answer 8

i used to have low self esteem and i never saw counseling for it.. i just do things that make me feel good like a new hairdo or new outfit something that makes me feel good helps build more confidence. try a new hair color do something different with yourself and try not to let what anybody says get u down.

Answer 9

you have to thing about good things and positive things. try to name some things you are proud of yourself for like grades, awards, apperances, and experiences. then you have to be a little more assertive and not let people intimidate you or walk all over you.

Answer 10

work on your self esteem for as long as it takes