Wow I Screwed Up?

Question

I am a college student currently getting ready to graduate from college this spring. This story all starts out when I work for my parents in the summer in between college. We hire a lot of employees my age and below. There was this one girl that we hired a few years ago. She was younger than me by about four years than but we got along really well. She is probably going to be the valedictorian or salutatorian of her class as well as a top athlete at the local high school. She did this all while living in a single parent household with a practically deaf mother. She is a as mature as me and she doesn’t look her age. I never really saw anything in her other than a really cool person that I could BS with because when I first met her she was like 14 and I’m not a pedophile.

Apparently she has had a huge crush on me since the day she met me when she put the application into the store, my mom confirms this now. The first summer she worked she was shy but soon she opened up to me by the middle of the summer and we talked a lot and spent a lot of long nights working together. The second summer she worked she asked me if I wanted to date her, and I refused because of the age difference and I wasn’t interested in her. But she always wanted to hug me when ever she saw me and be close to me, I thought it was kind of odd but since we were friends I didn’t refuse.

I went back to school after the second summer and she went back to school and we stayed out of contact. The third summer when she came back she was sixteen going on seventeen she began hitting on me extremely hard. She asked me to go out with her numerous times; she always wanted to hug me, tried to give me her number, would always just like stare into my eyes, try to touch my face and I practically had to pry her off of me. She told me three times that summer that she loved me. The first time she did it was when we were alone and I was dead serious convinced that she really loved me and I started to refer to her as “stalker chick” to my friends. She continued her actions throughout the summer. There was a huge joke in the store that we were going to get married among everyone. When the summer concluded I refused to stay in contact with her much to her wanting to, because she wouldn’t be working for us the next summer and I was leaving to join the service when I graduated college.

But we parted ways with a hug and I left town to go back to school. I had some inclination that I had some feelings for her when I drove away and felt really sad.

I went back to school and for the semester I couldn’t get this girl out of my head. Seriously I thought about her everyday. And I looked back and realized that I had a lot of fun with her and she was probably one of the most amazing person that I had ever met.

I come back home for Christmas and break the news to my parents that I was signing up for the Marines, something that I had wanted to do since 911 and had been preparing for for the past six years and hopefully I was going to be going to be entering as soon as I graduated college. My parents are anti war people and they began trying to guilt me into not joining. My dad told my close relatives what I was doing even when I told him not to and I spent the entire Christmas break being treated like I was dead man walking. Everyone acted like it was my last days on earth.

I think that the stuff about me dying started getting to my head when I began thinking about this amazing girl again. I started thinking that it would be such a waste if I never reconnected with her and saw if we could have a relationship, beyond a friendship. I knew that I would always be kicking myself if I never asked her out.

After much thought, I facebooked her. She confirmed me as a friend. She turned 17 on the 23 of December. She confirmed me as a friend on facebook the 27 and put up as her status message “I am 17,” five minutes after she confirms me. She had been on facebook everyday since she turned 17 and never felt it necessary to put up that as her status message. She had always told me she was 17 this previous summer when ever she wanted to date me but I knew it wasn’t true, and refused. Her mom had come into one of the stores while my mom was working and told my mom her daughter had turned 17. For some reason my mom had told our family at the dinner table that this girl was 17 because she always likes to keep us on top of what our employees are doing.

I get this girl’s IM screen name and IM her three times while she is online overnight. I then look at her IM profile and she has lyrics from a song called Sleep to Dream by Fiona Apple. I google whole song and read it. Its about a girl who tells a guy that she loves him he says he doesn’t love her, he leaves but then comes crawling back. This girl is really angry. At this point I feel really bad. My freshman roommate in college fell apart before my eyes because this girl he deeply loved broke up with him. I felt really guilty and felt I needed to apologize to her. I sent her a facebook message that we needed to talk and call me. She never responded to me.

A couple of days go by and I am feeling really bad. I am thinking she is really mad at me and hurt. So I find her address and send her an anonymous letter that was honest as to why I never tried to date her, I was afraid of the age difference, the employee employeer conflict, as well the fact I was leaving for the service and I was afraid that I would be held back from achieving my dream.

This letter goes out on Thursday and since we live in the same town I assume she gets the letter on Friday. Late on Friday night she puts up on her facebook status “Not wanting to say goodbye.” I assume this refers to me because my letter was sort of a goodbye letter, so I send her a facebok message saying it doesn’t have to be goodbye if she doesn’t want it to be and how to contact me. I also ask her to delete me from facebook if she doesn’t want to contact me. She doesn’t reply but deletes me from her facebook account. I check her IM profile and she still has these lyrics in her profile but she has changed the color of one of the lines. I assume she is still pissed at me so I send her a facebook message saying we need to meet in person to clear any awkwardness up.

She finally responds and says that I am a sick person and I am stalking her. At that point I am shaking. One of my coworkers who is friends with her is online so I begin shooting her messages. This coworker tells me that she assumes this girl was joking with me whenever she was trying to hug me and get close to me and the coworker starts messaging this girl telling her it was a misunderstanding and that I really thought this girl was in love with me and felt bad that I had broken her heart.

At that point I start getting really embarrassed and try to play off the whole incident as a joke I was playing on this girl as payback for her screwing with me. But then I realize that stuff doesn’t make any sense and I feel really guilty and I finally send her a message explaining the entire situation, along with contact information of friends who I had told about this situation to substantiate my claims. Right now I am hoping that she understands, checks my contacts and realizes that I really am a moron. I hope I’m not going to jail.

I am still convinced that she likes me, because I knew she was joking during the summer in front of other people, but when we were alone she would do the same. If I was to put my money on it she was interested.

To clear things up those song lyrics were never ment for me. They were ment for someone else.

But here is the problem, I am only in town for another three days and after that I am probably never comming home for a long time. I will never ever see her again, but if she is willing to meet me and talk and we both want a relationship I can make changes to my plans in the future, thats how much she means to me.

Answer 1

Wow..that was long. lol First off, you're not going to jail. Ease up. Basically this girl is a child, not a woman and like any child, she's playing games. You're only obsessing over her because she paid alot of attention to you. That's flattering to anyone. You're reading way too much into things with her (like the song lyrics, facebook status, etc). Do you honestly think she's not going to change her mind a million times about things before she turns 20? Take my word, she will. The way she acted towards you tells alot about her maturity level. In other words, she's immature. She's underage and legally, your best bet is to leave her alone. If it's meant to be, it will happen. I think you should concentrate on your career and not on this kid. You can find someone closer to your own age who isn't into all the childish game playing.

Answer 2

wow...this was really long...she is seventeen? If she cared that much for you she would be thrilled at the thought that you may feel the same way. I think she just wanted you because she really thought she could never get you and wanted the challenge. I honesly wouldn't waste any more time. If she wants you that bad she would have contacted you by now.

Answer 3

Wow....
I really wouldn't say that you screwed up..
It's just a rather difficult situation.

I can understand the frusteration and anger on both sides of the coin.

What is meant to happen,
Will happen, She will grow....Mentally, Spiritually, And physically..
As will you.

Destiny Is indeed destiny,
Just focus on the postive, And follow your heart, hun.

Good luck & best wishes.

Answer 4

Omg..that was really long!lol!anyways it seems like shes playing hrd to get or she truly doesnt like you!Why dont you say that you dont want to talk to her anymore!see how she repleys...if shes interested then she was playing hard to get..but if she doesnt repley in less then a month..I would just forget her!and get another girl that will give you the same attention!

Answer 5

wow... a VERY VERY VERY serious apology is needed here

Answer 6

Wow......um.........WOW Ur gonna have to really apoligize...... BIG time