Kid's birthday party dilemma..?

Question

My preschooler wants to invite some of his classmates to his upcoming 5th b-day party. There are several childern I planned to invite that he regularly plays with and who's parents I see when I pick him up. Recently, my son spilt the beans about his party at school and several kids asked me if they could come... My dilemma is... my son's class has 11 kids. I really can't afford to invite them all (assuming half of them would come with their parents and possibily other siblings). I also invite children of close friends as well, so there would be ALOT of kids. What is the polite way to handle invitations to his classmates? I don't want to hurt the non-invited childern's feelings.

Also, my son has never been invited to one of his classmates' parties.

Also, mailing the invites is a great idea. But, how do I get the addresses? I don't always see the parents and the school will not give that info. Any ideas???

Answer 1

tell the little darlings that they are going to be a part of his classroom party and bring cupcakes or goodie bags to his class
if this is permitted.
to avoid them bringing siblings and parents word your invitation wisely (do not send invites to school. mail them or call only)
word it as such:
party time is at 2 pm and you can pick up your child by 4
please inform me at time of rsvp of how many other children you have so i can send your child home with a cupcake for them.
(you can make an extra dozen cupcakes for 2 bucks. ) have fun the un invited kids will be happy with a cupcake. they are 5.

Answer 2

Depending on space and where you are holding your party. I have found that cupcakes are cheap so the more the merrier. We invite the whole class.
However Size and place of the party can put a damper and limit you to how many can come. I would just set a limit and pass out invitations. I really do not think that there is a way to truly avoid hurt feelings. After the party and back at school they will talk about it. I don't want to sound abrupt but sometimes in life we get our feelings hurt. Hopefully they have parents that understand the dilemma of party invitations and will be able to explain it to them. I have had to explain it to my children as well. They get over it pretty quick and are on to something else.

Good Luck and Happy Birthday to your kiddo!

Answer 3

No doubt about it, feelings will be hurt if all the kids in the class aren't invited. They already know. They might not invite your son later on and this could cause him some problems socially.
You can have an inexpensive party by having it at the park and making cupcakes and a cooler with drinks. Buy ballons and generic decorations. That way they can all come and don't feel left out. They'll remember not getting invited more than they'll remember how expensive the party is.

Answer 4

This happens so often. I even put my own mother in this pickle many years ago. Ideally, the parents of the uninvited children should know that there are economical and space limits to a kids' party and make that clear to their children, but kids will be kids and a party always looks so exciting to them. It's a shame to break a kid's heart (even momentarily) by denying them entry now that they know the party is going on. To you or me that is expediency. To them it's the world coming to an end. I would just let them all come, however, I would reissue invitations with the note on them that along with the party animal one (ONE) guest is also invited--which should cut down on the siblings since at least one parent would want to be the guest to chaperone their kid (also, if this is not comfortable for them, they might not let thieir kid go after all, and that would make it easier for you). I wouldn't worry about the parents--if they have any sense they will understand exactly what you are trying to do and agree. I would then make sure to have party games for large numbers of kids, get a bigger cake than planned, and let the dinner food be simple and not terribly generous to balance out the other costs and because kids don't eat savory foods at parties anyway. Forget about place cards and party favors, and maybe even seating could be a la picnic rather than on rented tables and chairs. Whatever you do, just have a great time, take lots of pictures, and make sure your kid gets his day of days.

Answer 5

Kids will never be able to understand not being invited. I know it's a horrible hassle but as your child spilled the beans he has to understand that there are consequences even at the tender age of 5.

You'll have to scale back, get help and bite the bullet. There is no kind way of saying "you're not wanted".

Maybe do a different party to host those closer to you, but have a cake and ice cream, few games for the big group.

Sorry I haven't a better solution....good luck!

Answer 6

The only polite way to invite your child's school friends to a party is to do it by mail. In my circle, the rule is to mail invitations unless every kid in the class is invited.

Don't feel like you HAVE to invite all these kids. . . even if they go home and say, "______ is having a party," the parents aren't going to be upset that their child wasn't invited -- kids say stuff like that all the time about having and going to birthday parties! Sometimes kids ask other kids at school to come to their parties a year ahead of time. I guess my advice is to not stress, but do mail the invitations.

Answer 7

I don't know how to tell a child they are not invited. Once your kid starts school, party's are different. You should invite all of the same sex as your child or the entire class. Not everyone will come. Or, don't invite any of them. Just bring a treat to school. They will feel like they participated in his birthday celebration.

Answer 8

If you have to invite all of them. Cut out the food and serve chips, dip, sodas (get Walmart brand their like 10 cents a can). Cupcakes are fairly cheap if you make them. Entertainment would be the same for 5 as it would be for 20.

Answer 9

if the class is only 11, ask the teacher if it's ok to bring cup cakes to school one day and have a party there, that way they'll feel "invited" and cupcakes are not too expensive.

Answer 10

don't feel bad i have 4 children and have had this happen a few times if they ask me if they can come i say to them my son got to pick 10 people from his class you might be able to come next time kids that age will forget about it anyway but i take a cake to the class room so everyone can be involved that way.
best of luck xxx