My boyfriend and I, both 19 years old, have dated for 1.5 years and are going to get married in the future. This decision was brought on by a LOT of prayer from us and our church leaders. We have always tried to the best of our ability to include God in every aspect of our courtship, and it's gone great so far. The problem is, we are both college students and a part of our first year dating took away from sister-sister relationships and brother-brother relationships, because we were with each other a lot. This year, our leaders told us that this was something that we were missing out on, that we weren't building the same-gender relationships God provided for us, and that we should pray about taking a break in the relationship. So we prayed and it didn't seem like the right thing to do, so we are still dating, still very loving, etc... Now we are trying to hang out more with our own genders and developing those relationships. I agree that this is the best route.
2007-01-12 09:26:01 · 10 answers · asked by reba 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
The issue is, his guy friends want to hang out MUCH more than my girl friends want to. I almost feel like he is going a little overboard and rarely hangs out with me. Our times together are very precious now, but something in me is hurting a lot from this. Things which we used to do exclusively with one another, like weekly grocery shopping, etc, he now does with “the guys.” Our dates get cancelled sometimes because the brothers want to do something suddenly, and men never plan in advance. I’m trying my very hardest so support him and myself in our decisions to build these other relationships, and I am also hanging out with girl friends and having fun, but I feel like it’s unequal… Should I just pray about it and wait for God to change my selfishness, or is there something else I can do? Please be serious. Thanks!
2007-01-12 09:28:58 · update #1
Listen, you do what feels right for you. It's OK to listen to a suggestion and to pray about it, but YOU decide.
I don't care if they are church elders or leaders or whatever. The relationship that matters most is the one between you and God and if you need to break up with this boy, trust me HE will let you know.
As for the additional details, that would make him acting like what he is, a 19 year old kid. You're not married yet, remember that. He needs his space and time, as do you.
Be blessed.
2007-01-12 09:30:30 · answer #1 · answered by Sheryl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having been a church leader and pastor my guess would be that the leaders in your church see something in the relationship bewteen you an your boyfriend that is not "healthy". There suggestion is probably a tactful way of saying you are hanging out too much, or maybe all over each other too much. The best advice I could give is for each one of you to have a straight forward talk with your parents. In the Bible they are your authority directly under God and you should neither bypass them and go directly to God nor circumvent them by going to the church leaders.
2007-01-12 09:44:01 · answer #2 · answered by oldguy63 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
could the guys and the girls arrange to do some stuff together some of the time? Also remember if you are getting married you will spend the rest of your lives together so dont worry too much there is plenty of time. God Bless the both of you
2007-01-12 09:44:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Admittedly I am only getting for now, 'your side' of the story. What someone is getting at with 'same sex' get togethers I must admit, right now, I do not understand the point, even intuititively.
I am not saying 'blow that opinion off' right now, but something really sounds odd somewhere; but I am not there in person to see what the 'oddity' is.
2007-01-12 10:08:24 · answer #4 · answered by jefferyspringer57@sbcglobal.net 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just keep on praying & be thankful of the times you do spend together.Its hard enough being in college, then add a relationship.I do agree that each one should spend time with thier own gender.GOD BLESS YOU BOTH & GOOD LUCK.
2007-01-12 09:37:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to be married, you should spend more time TOGETHER. "For a man will leave his mother and father, and a woman leave her home, and the two will become one flesh." I expect that this applies to brothers, sisters and friends as well. "What God has joined together, let no man put asunder."
2007-01-12 09:43:55 · answer #6 · answered by FUNdie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So they think you're relationship is too intense, you're too young and you're not seeing other friends?
Why don't you just see your friends one day a week? Or why don't you go out in groups. Why must it be the same gender? You just need to balance it out.
2007-01-12 09:35:34 · answer #7 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I cannot offer you the correct advice, but I do wish you the best of luck. You seem very sincere, and that goes a good way in this world.
2007-01-12 09:31:51 · answer #8 · answered by bc_munkee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
change which church you go to.
your leaders sound very strange.
find a good Bible
believing/preaching/teaching Church
as soon as possible.
2007-01-12 09:32:05 · answer #9 · answered by Chef Bob 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel you got an answer from God, why are you here?
2007-01-12 09:29:57 · answer #10 · answered by Born Again Christian 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋