Why do I do this to myself?

Question

I am a very emotional person. When I disagree or fight with my parents I cut myself because I don't make them happy, even if it's something so small, like forgetting to take the trash out. My parents would never hit me, but I feel so bad letting them down I hurt myself. When my boyfriend is mean to me and says hurtful things or yells at me... I hit myself. I've tried to kill myself several times. If you met me you'd wonder why I'm like this... You'd never guess in a million years. I'm very good at hiding it. I'm pretty popular, not bad looking, captain of the dance team and a starting point guard on the basketball team... I have everything in life, but I sometimes feel very empty inside when it comes to people hurting my feelings. How do I fix this? What's wrong with me? I don't know how to control all my emotions and talking with adults and friends doesn't make it better, they usually make it worse. Their critism hurts and their judgements really do matter to me.

Answer 1

You need therapy. It doesn't have to be like this.
Please get help.

Answer 2

Even though you may be popular, you don't love yourself. Your feeling not worthy and the list goes on for a very long time for what your feeling. This isn't something you can fix on your own. You need to find a good counselor that will help you through the process.
Remember just because they are a counselor does not mean they are the right one for you. Search around. Talk to your school nurse, counselor or doctor for a recommendation. The right counselor will not criticize you, but will help guide you gently and in an nonthreatening way.

Try writing a letter to your parents on exactly how you feel and how they make you feel when they respond to you. Put it all on paper, give it to them and take a walk or go do something while they are reading. I do not feel they know the full story of what is going on with you.

Answer 3

How can cutting yourself make you feel better? Just think that every time you cut yourself you have a scar. When your parents yell at you, why can't you just tell them sorry and you love them? When your boyfriend is mean to you, why don't you threaten to leave him? You don't need to be in a relationship that is going to hurt you. Stand up for yourself! If you put a stop to his being mean to you you will feel that you have accomplished something and that will make you feel better about yourself. Think of all the positiveness in your life. Think that there is a guy out there that would do anything for you. Your first step is to loose the boy, find a new one, and take out the trash! I wish you luck in your life and I hope that you stop hurting yourself and start living your life to the fullest. I wish you love!

Answer 4

People Self-Injurer for many reasons, but your reason is fairly common. Some people SI to escape hollow-emptiness (desensitization) and associate the pain with being able to feel, because they feel so numb inside they want to feel anything... anything at all, even if it is not pleasurable. Some people SI because of overwhelming emotions and they see it as a way to lessen the burden. Then some people SI to as a form of passing judgment unto themselves. For example, when you disappoint your parents ---- they won't hurt you but you believe somehow that because you have disappointed them you deserve to be punished (which you don't) so you punish yourself.
The thing about SI is that it is a vicious cycle... after people injurer themselves, they sometimes become filled with guilt and self-anger that they have to do it over and over again. You seem to have an intersection of all three aspects, and seem to have some self-esteem problems. The thing is sweetie, everyone has fights with their parents... it doesn't make you a bad person and disappointment comes to everyone in life, you just have to make up for it ... not by hurting yourself but other ways. For example if you forget to take out the trash --- apologize --- that take dishes duty for a while to emphasize that you are sorry.
All couples fight (me and my bf just had a massive one lol), and sometimes they do say things they regret. If the hurtful comments do not come from fighting, then you need to tell him just how much it hurts...if he doesn't stop them you deserve better. Keep telling yourself that you are a great person and special and that you are entitled to be treated kindly and be said nice things about. And you are just as entitled as anyone else to make mistakes. When people say bad things about you out of spite, be above them and ignore it.
The bad thing about SI is it does not usually go away without treatment...some counseling generally. I would request that you confide in someone about it and see a psychologist so that you can further explore the underlying issues. The first step towards help is always the hardest but it needs to be taken. You don't have to be alone.
Good Luck.

Answer 5

I think that there is nothing wrong with you...You set you're expectations to high and you hate people thinking anything less of you that is why i think you do it. Its okay not to perfect or right sometimes. When you feel disappointed towards someone or something just breath and relax. If you're here in this world it's because you have a purpose, you re not here just to be here some one has a magnificent plan for you.

Answer 6

You probably need some form of counselling, and have some really good friends where you can confide your problems.

Do not expect overnight changes, but always be cool. Tempers are at times very difficult to control.

I used to be quick tempered, but over time I think I am totally changed as I have now good listening ears. But that change took years.

Answer 7

I feel for you i used to do that all the time... i was with a guy that made my life a living hell and i would get mad but then i found someone that i love and who actually loves me back... i stoped doing it because whenever my recent boyfriend saw it he threatened to break up with me and not talk to me anymore... i think you should find something else to do all i do now is listen to music to get my mind off of things... i watch a movie that makes me feel better about myself and it helps most of the time i havent done it in a while its almost been a year now and i am still with the gut and he still helps find something to help u!!

Answer 8

Well if this is an honest question, it seems like you have the ability within yourself to stop your self-destruction. You're apparently able to look at this from a 3rd-person perspective. You realize that you do have a problem, and "very good at hiding it."

Once you can recognize the problem, and the cause for it, it's up to you to take control of your life and overcome it. No one else can do it for you.

Answer 9

mabey ur lik me and just do things cause u cant help it.i get the same way sometimes,but thats because im manic.u could be under alot of preasure withdance,basketball,and being popular.mabey u should drown out everything in ur life with music.that helps me get by.dont take ehis next part serious,but u might be emo lik me.

Answer 10

Hunny i'm in the same boat...you need to see a doctor...i do too but i haven't done it yet. This kind of behavior can lead to a lot of problems later in life, not to mention the fact that it's tearing you up emotionally right now. I wish you the best of luck, and know that you are not alone.

Answer 11

Maybe you are not getting the type of attention that you are needing to feel complete. I think you should really see a psychologist about this or if you're afraid of telling your parents go to your guidance counselor at school or a teacher that you can trust or someone.