my boyfriends kid is so spoiled! he gives her anything and everything she wants. she yells at him and he just doesn't do anyhting. we spent $60 on a movie the other day for her to just cause a scene 20 min. into it and wants to leave. we actually left! he puts her in her place sometimes but when he does, moments later, he sucks her butt to her whinning and crying. its so fake, though. what should i do? Help! and she tries to boss me around but, i aint havin that! but, i dont want to come off as a big meanie. and dont get it wrong... he loves her to death. i dont know why she acts like "its all about me." she doesn't act like that with her mother.
ps. she's 5, he's 28
2007-01-12 08:48:00 · 8 answers · asked by angi w 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
LEAVE,
IT won't get any better. Find someone with out children. You are warned, it will get worse if you get married.
2007-01-12 22:04:28 · answer #1 · answered by olschoolmom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well she is 5
She wants her dads attention. Your there and maybe she feels like you are taking the spotlight away from her.
It should be all about her, in her fathers eyes, when he has her. She will be a part of his life forever. That's a bond you will regret interfering with. Never try to come between a parent and their child. You will lose almost always.
It is probably hard enough for her with her parents not being together. Two different houses, 2 different sets of rules, etc...
It doesn't make her a brat. If you are in the relationship for the long haul, then you need to find a way to let her know that you are not a threat to her. If you act frustrated she will pick up on it.
Good luck
2007-01-12 09:07:59 · answer #2 · answered by BhitchyPrincess 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is a very spoiled child.If she is this bad now wait until the teen years.She is already playng her father like a fiddle.He has to accept responsibility for her bad behaviour.It is time he starts being a parent and not her pal.she needs rules.I bet she doesn't behave like this at school. They have codes of conduct,even in kindergarten.Her behaviour would not be tolerated.Her father needs to teach her that she needs to treat others with respect.He better wake up pretty quick and reverse this behaviour. She has no reason to change if she continues to get her way.
2007-01-12 10:33:38 · answer #3 · answered by gussie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This pill may be a little hard to swallow but I think it will greatly help you understand and come up with a solution. First let me say that I do not advocate bratty spoiled behavior in any way (oh He** no.) But you must understand that she will always take proirity over you. She is his daughter and will always be his daughter, but for most men, girlfriends come and go. That doesn't mean that it's ok for him to cater to every bratty excuse she comes up with.
Being the girlfriend, you are definately limited to the action you can take. Here is what I would do:
Talk to him and be totally honest. Tell him that her bad behavior bothers you and that you don't approve of her bossing you around. Part of the problem may be that she is jealous of the time he spends with you and it is absolutely necessary that he talks to her about that. He needs to let his daughter know that she does take priority over you but that doesn't mean that everything is about her. Another big part of it may be that she does it at dad's because she knows she can get away with it. Since she has established love and trust for him- he needs to set the rules and stick to them.
As far as her bossing you around- don't give in- or tell her the proper way to ask you for things. Ex: "Go get me a glass of water." "I'd be happy to get you a glass of water next time I go to the kitchen if you ask me." This way you aren't being mean but you aren't giving into her request directly.
If your BF doesn't want to deal with his daughter's bad behavior then you either have to accept it or accept that it will end your relationship. Don't expect dramatic change right away, but keep communication open between you and your BF. Maybe he doesn't know how to say no to her. You could even suggest that he get on Yahoo! Q&A himself to find more information.
The bottom line is that you need to be honest with him and if it gets to the point that you need to put your foot down and say that you aren't interested in going to the movies with her if she is going to act like a brat- then you need to. If you don't say anything about it now, you will get resentful and just blow up at him/her one day.
2007-01-12 09:24:59 · answer #4 · answered by Erin H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I bet her mother doesn't let her get away with that behavior. He feels guilty, so he's letting her do what she wants. He needs to get a handle on the guilt and realize that she'll love and respect him more if he sets rules and follows through with them. Its not healthy for a child to get whatever they want by throwing a fit and whining. All it does is raise a child to feel that they should be entitled to everything and people should cater to their wants. Out of love for his child, he needs to learn to be consistant. If she's this bad at 5, 15 will be a nightmare!
As for you, watch and be careful. If he does this with his kid, what's to say he won't be just as bad if you have a child with him? Too many parents parent out of guilt. Its not helping the kids, it just hurts them!
2007-01-12 08:57:16 · answer #5 · answered by Velken 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She acts that way because she is ALLOWED to act that way. You have a choice, either you can stick around with this guy and his allowing his daughter to behave in this manner or you can leave the relationship. If you CHOOSE to stay then you'd better plan on keeping your mouth shut and not complain about it because this is the way it is ALWAYS going to be with her and him. She doesn't act this way with her mother because OBVIOUSLY her mother doesn't ALLOW it.
2007-01-14 09:14:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Teach this kid how to say "Please and Thank You" That's what I did when I saw my sister's family this summer and when I did craft's with the kid's (they are spoiled too) I made them say Please and Thank you and it was amazing how Humbling it made them be.And my nephew was 5 when I first started teaching him please and thank you! And he's 8 now and he remember's so Does my neice who is 2 year's older.
2007-01-12 14:51:35 · answer #7 · answered by jrealitytv 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She knows how to play him obviously. I would suggest a parenting class to him.
2007-01-12 08:52:33 · answer #8 · answered by KathyS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋