ok so i am dating a virgin, and i think she wants to start to explore...the way she is hinting around at things. now i dont want to take her hand and just put it down there, but should i talk to her and explain that she has the green light to check out the goods? i really want to take my time with her, but i dont mind her playing around with me by touching me in any way she wants. she isnt bold enough to make the first move, and i know that i would love to touch her ALL over but I dont have the guts to do that. now we have been on over 20 dates now, and things are getting serious. i have met mom and dad during a family dinner, other family members, college friends, etc. so....should i just give her the go ahead and see what happens? i dont want her to think im trying to do her, but i want her not to be shy at the same time. HELL..some people think sex by the 3rd or 4th date is fine...
2007-01-12 08:24:17 · 19 answers · asked by brianju 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sure, talking to her is a good way to go. Let her know that she can touch you anywhere and anytime and that you will still respect her boundaries. Let her know that if you do anything that makes her uncomfortable or that she's not ready for she only has to tell you and you will stop. It should help to make her more comfortable. I was sometimes afraid to touch my guy because some guys think that if you touch them, then they have the right to expect sex. But he said I can touch him anytime and it's fine, I don't have to do other things. So now I touch him a lot. ;)
2007-01-12 08:30:42 · answer #1 · answered by L T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think you both are ready for something of that sort, talk to her. She won't jump out of her shell for the first time when she doesn't know how, so help her! Remember, she's not comfortable with the idea if she can't talk about it- and even then, it can't be taken as a given. Tell her how you feel about her, where you think your relationship is going, etc. Take it from there, not from some cultural norm of when sex is 'right or wrong'.
it might seem awkward talking about it at first, and then trying to be romantic- but it's all worth it in the end, and you'll never have to talk about it again!
Good Luck!
2007-01-12 08:40:10 · answer #2 · answered by live*laugh*love 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For some reason some women grow up thinking that sex is something that a man does to a woman and the woman is just a passive spectator.
If you're getting serious, it's time to talk about sex anyway. Tell her that someone told you that (what I said in the paragraph above), and ask her what she thinks about it. It should open the door to a meaningful conversation, and if she has that idea, it might open her mind to the idea that she should be an active party in lovemaking.
Good luck to you.
2007-01-12 08:30:18 · answer #3 · answered by goicuon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should just be naked one day when she comes over - like you just got out of the shower. That might be a good ice breaker....Is she a virgin because she wants her husband/wedding night to be her first, or has she just not found the "right guy"?
I would just be honest with her. Let her know that you are willing to be her road map to the male body. She is probably afraid she won't do it right...so just give her some confidence that you won't be judging her amateur performance.
2007-01-12 08:32:47 · answer #4 · answered by smellyfoot ™ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you 'talk' about it you will kill the mood and any chance of getting anything out of her (physically) afterwards. So you will just need to make a move yourself, but not go for it all. Take it one step at a time and she may come out of her shell before you know it.
2007-01-12 08:28:02 · answer #5 · answered by jhornneon23 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should not make her feel pressured into doing something that she does not want to do. You can sit down with her and let her know that it's ok with you to do some touching, but let her know that it's totally up to her and you are not trying to pressure her into anything. It will all happen when it's supposed to.
2007-01-12 08:29:56 · answer #6 · answered by ssmomma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree with the first one start touching ur self and see if she joins u. most likely she will. or when u kiss her try pressign ur self against her maybe she ll get the idea. how old is she anyway? she is a virgin but she is not a saint so try grabing her hand and put it on ur belly maybe she will get exited and keep going down.
good luck !!!
2007-01-12 09:24:47 · answer #7 · answered by Blondie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree that talking is the worst thing you can do. You gotta brush up on your foreplay and put her in the mood, big time. By 20 dates you should know her body very well, even if you haven't explicitly had sex.
2007-01-12 08:30:28 · answer #8 · answered by John C 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do you really like her? If wait and see what happens, try a make out session and if it get heavy then go for it.
Good luck!
2007-01-12 08:29:18 · answer #9 · answered by Shorty06 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't push it, she will get more comfortable as time goes by, but just hint to her that it is ok to explore. talk about it and if she is backing off just give it some more time.
2007-01-12 08:30:04 · answer #10 · answered by bubbles_in_the_tub_4_u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋