hi and his family dont have much money and he goes to school like me we both go to school! well i dont date ppl for money are looks,, i was friends with him thin we liked eachother thin on and on.. anyways its been about 6 months now we really are inlove and hes everything he makes me so happy and hes cute! i dont know what to do to help him out! he cant get much money to buy me things and when i buy him things he gets upset bc he couldnt get me things but i always say i dont mind i love him! what do you think i can do to help him and his family out? plus valentines day is commin up!
2007-01-12 08:16:23 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
here's the thing u need to remember about guys.... they need to feel that they are capable of taking care of u.. and that means monetarily too. so, if he is not well off, it causes problems for a couple.. because his feeling ashamed, or "less" than the girl, will create tension!
u have to keep that in mind when u offer to pay too often, or give him too extravagant gifts. =T i had this problem when my boyfriend was struggling to pass the bar exam... he was not making much money, everything depended on his passing the exam, and he failed a few times.. was really depressed and didnt' feel like a "man". we got into many fights because he would change his mind or the plans about going to restaurants, which later i realized was due to his shame of not being able to pay for it, even tho i was willing to pay.... so i realized i had to LET some things go, let him pay sometimes, or insist on doing cheaper, free things until he passed.
which he did, and he is so much more confident!! i think what u need to do is continue to support him whenever he tries to get a job, or encourage him to study harder, work harder, etc. the more he cares about providing for u, and the more encouragement he gets from u, the more likely he can and will succeed, and provide for u in more ways than just monetarily. ur abilty to make him happy during this rough time will really show him that u are invaluable! :)
good luck~
2007-01-12 08:22:45 · answer #1 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
make an agreement to not buy each other anything at all. instead make a pack of spending no more than a certain amout (we did $10) or nothing at all and try to come up with something nice that you can do for the other. self made cards, doing something for you that you hate to do or just pamper you for a night (bring you your dinner, let you pick waht's on tv, rub your back, etc) it's tough to say without know ing the age we are talking about. As cheesey as it sounds one year I took a piece of black poster board and cut out a huge red heart to paste in the middle. The heart said " I love you!". On the black I used a metalic pen to write about 50 things that I loved about him and then I taped hershey kisses around the ourside ofthe heart to trace the shape.
It was like a huge card and candy in one. Best of all it was cheap but was the most meaningful thing I think I ever did for nayone!
2007-01-12 08:28:13 · answer #2 · answered by tracy042972 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well there is not much you can do. let him work it out on his own and just be there to show support and encouragement. who knows maybe he hasn't had the opportunity to shine and show what he is made of in the job world since he is going to school and everything. if you love him just love the person that he is not what you want him to be.
He should also know that money isn't everything and that they're a lot of romantic things that he can do for you that do not cost a lot of money like a poem and a picnic in the park so don't feel so sorry for him too.
2007-01-12 08:28:52 · answer #3 · answered by ddlope1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh oh...you're in trouble if you really mean "you'd do anything for him". Also your indicating you're happy as he's "cute" shows me this is an immature relationship. The best thing you could do is leave him alone till he gets his degree or masters degree from college. You are just holding him back, and doing what you're doing you can get pregnant and then for sure you will be holding him back and he will leave you. As I said, you both are too immature to be doing what you're doing. Forget about Valentines Day with regard to him buying you things. When you say you're buying him things you're being too forward and trashy, therefore this relationship won't last....plus you're embarassing him by buying things as then he feels embarassed because he can't buy you anything, or you've put him in a position to make him feel like he "owes you" and when he can't buy you anything he gives sex. That's mean.
2007-01-12 08:26:14 · answer #4 · answered by sophieb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, you are the best example for women in a relationship I now know. The fact that you don't expect much is greatly appriciated. The best idea is to be the "boyfriend" in the relationship, and try to pay for things the boyfriend normally would. If he gets upset, you could remind him that every relationship is unique, and there aren't some big guidlines that you have to follow. He won't get dependent, and will try to do everything in his power to even things out.
2007-01-12 08:26:57 · answer #5 · answered by Erick W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does not take money to encouter love If you are really in love with him both of you'll finish school and after employment take it futher if you want to he might be tryiny to work and go to school just to support his family do you really know that much about him and I mean REALLY Valintines Day is just set aside for people in love it's not a national holiday or anything if you really love some one every day is Valentines Day good luck to you and yours LOL John
2007-01-12 11:52:21 · answer #6 · answered by drlove308 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It relies upon on how previous you're. Getting married at a gentle age isn't continuously a sensible determination. i imagine that's more desirable to make stronger up more desirable and be more desirable mature previously making a wedding ceremony dedication. Marriage isn't straightforward. that's exertions. So being married at a gentle age will be hard on you. basically undergo in concepts that. that's more desirable if both one among you're financially reliable and would take care of countless issues that come your way.
2016-10-17 01:05:01 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that u should do anything to help his family because I think that they will think that u r doing a favor for them. Just spend valentines day like a normal date. Just keep telling him that u don't care that he brought u something and only care about the fact that he loves u.
2007-01-12 08:23:39 · answer #8 · answered by Lucky 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They're probably very humble people. If they need or want help, they'll take care of it. You could be embarrasing them. There is much more to life than someone simply splashing around money.
2007-01-12 08:23:32 · answer #9 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep your gift giving down to a level he is acpable of matching. When he gets out of school and gets a job raise the bar.
2007-01-12 08:20:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋