Terrible thoughts at bed time?

Question

My brother always has terrible thoughts at bed time. Thoughts about torture and death. He is 10 years old and doesn’t watch horror movies or listen to scary stories or anything. This has been going on for about a year and every night he has them. My step-mom, His Mom refuses to take him to a shrink. Where are these thoughts coming from and what **can I do**

now that I think about it a year ago is when dad came back on leave and he may have herd the stories my dad was telling they were pretty grusom, but he didn't know we were lisitening, The horrors have gone WAAAAY past that though, but it may have started there, but I still don't know what to do

he has thoughts about things like family members being dragged by their hair and then having nails hammered all through their arms and legs and then them being slowly put through a meat grinder or slowly lowered onto a large sharp stick in the ground untill they die

Answer 1

It sounds very much to me like he has seen some horror movies or been told violent stories that haunt him. Those are not "normal" thoughts for a 10 year old. They don't come out of nowhere.
If a psychologist is out of the question, then do your best to ease his fears and help him get his mind on other things. And DO watch for any signs of a more serious problem. If he even appears to be considering acting upon any of these thoughts, at least have him talk with the school guidance counselor. That way, if the situation really warrants a professional's intervention, it can be more easily facilitated without his mom's express permission.

Answer 2

I think you already have some pretty good answers as it is, but one thought I haven't read here, you don't say how long your step-mom has been married to your dad; or what kind of relationship they all have with you and him. But I'm wondering if he could be feeling some anxiety around that relationship. Wnen he goes to sleep and has these dreams, is when the feelings are able to come out. What is scary, if he isn't able to resolve some of this within himself by talking with you, he may need help, some serious help, on anger issues, and abandonment issues.
Also these are the kind of dreams my ex-husband was having right after we were married. He was under the stess of being married, and a new baby! He went to the doctor and they diagnosed him with schziphreinia (paranoid). I don't want to scare you, but you need to get an adults attention; like maybe a school counselor.
If your step-mom won't talk to you, and your dad won't llisten, then take it to someone that WILL LISTEN, so your brother can get help before he becomes a teenager.

Answer 3

Unless these thoughts are interfering with his sleep and functionality...it may just be an active 10-year-old's imagination. If he is OK with exploring these things in his head, then don't stress. Now, if he starts acting out these fantasies of torture...then you may have a problem. All you can do is give him someone to talk to...usually talking about things out loud will allow a person to work them out inside their head better. He's only 10, so keep in mind that you need to be supportive of him. Also make sure that he isn't being hurt in anyway in real life...sometimes fear of real occurrences will manifest itself in dreams/worries about fictitious things.

All in all, if you brother is really having trouble, you may have to facilitate a conversation between him and your step mom. There may be a lot of reasons that she is against a "shrink" (like financial constraints). But there are other alternatives that either are more affordable or more palatable for your step-mom.

Good luck...I wish the best for you guys.

Answer 4

I know this may not seem like a great answer, but I went through this at one point. It was when i got my new room. I pictured myself killing a family member. It wasn't a dream, it was me laying down thinking. After that, that was all i could think about when I got into that bed. I had a very simple solution. Sleep somewhere else. I slept in the living room for a few months until i began sleeping in my brother's room. Sometimes having company can keep hard thoughts from coming, so maybe let him sleep in your room ro go in th eliving room with him. Good luck.


***EDIT***
I just remembered that the wierd thoughts started after watching the Zodaic killer on the history channel. I was into all that CSI stuff but that one caught my attention. I couldn't get it out of my head. I always got freaked out.

Answer 5

It sounds like he was exposed to something he shouldn't have been! Try this- pick up a book from a bookstore or the library for the two of you to read outloud together before bedtime. Get something long, so it takes a few weeks to get through. Try something with lots of adventure and fun- like c.s. lewis's narnia series, or one of Anne Mccaffetry's Dragonrider books. Those are age-appropriate for him, and the fun and adventure in them will get him thinking about different things before he falls asleep. Keep reading until he's snoring, even if you have to repeat chapters the next night. Your stepmother certianly can't object to the two of you reading! Good luck- shoot me an e-mail if you need more book suggestions.

Answer 6

You are a good sibling to your brother.

Can you enlist the aid of another adult? i.e. a teacher, guidance counsellor, doctor, neighbour, grandparent? Someone who would try to help or encourage your step-mom to get some help for this tortured little guy.

Do you believe in G-d? And does he? If so, visualize, together with him, G-d's protective and healing light shining down on you, him and both of you. Warming and comforting both of you, and directing both of your thinking to thoughts of beauty and safety.

If you do NOT believe in G-d, can you create a benevolent Higher Power to turn to. And activate the above suggestions.

Bless you both.

Answer 7

Talk to him about it. Reassure him that he is safe. Help him to call and check on people if that makes him feel better. Encourage him to talk about his thoughts and if they bother him, help him to find a way to deal with them. Whenever my son used to have bad thoughts or nightmares, I would have him to draw a picture of it (getting it out of his head and onto the paper) and then we would lock it in a box, tear it up or burn it in the fireplace(destroying it). I don't know if this will help, but it might. Your step mother needs to sit down and have a talk with him either way. The fact that he overheard these things might mean to him that they can really happen and the adults are trying to hide the fact from him. I hope this helps. Good luck and God Bless!!!

Answer 8

Poor kid...the origin of such gruesome thoughts may be from what he has heard of the stories you discribed. As long as your step-mom won't get help for him, see if someone on the school staff can arrange for him to talk to a counselor. He needs help. No one should have to grown up thinking those thoughts...I hope you find him the help he so badly needs.

Answer 9

What happened a year ago?
The anxiety he feels over the destruction of his family is manifesting itself in the form of nightmares. Where is his real mother? The only thing you can try to do is go out and do physical activities and hard exercise to help him feel more relaxed and tired at night.

Answer 10

I think you should pray. Sometimes when I feel scared or restless or if my family is in a time of trouble, I pray, or we will pray together. Usually we say the rosary. After that, a cloud of peace engulfs my life.