I have been with my gf for 4 months and we never have really got on. But she accepted our differences, and I could not. I have told her today that we are not compatible and finished with her. She started crying so much and made me feel so guilty. I am now sat at home and I do not know weather to ring her to see if she got home ok, if I do, she may think I am still interested, but if I dont she may think "what a bas***d" for not seeing if she got home ok. She lives quite a away from me and would of been crying when she went home. It does genuinely hurt me to think I have hurt her, but I know we would never ever work. We have had completely different life's.
Thanks in advance and all help completely appreciated
2007-01-12 06:51:08 · 30 answers · asked by Paul C 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
paul call her you can still be mates you know im a girl and say something like i was wondering if you got home alright explain to her why you left her girls hate it when they don't know its horrid explain that you still wanna be friends and if you knew you would of hurt her this bad you wouldn't of started loving her. say sorry even though you didn't do anything just say it and ask her if she will forgive you and still be your mate. this way you'll no if shes hurt she wont think you still like her and you'll still be mates
all the best
syeda (im a girl lol)
2007-01-12 08:09:16 · answer #1 · answered by precious as jwls 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you just broke up with her today, calling her shouldn't make her think you're interested. If you do, let her know that you wanted to make sure she got home ok. Then ADD that you're once again sorry and hope things work out for her in the future, good bye (quick and simple so you don't get in another discussion). That way she will know that you aren't calling because you are interested. She may not even want to talk to you so don't be surprised if she doesn't answer the phone at all. If she thinks you're a jerk, who cares? Her heart has been broken, she doesn't exactly think you're a saint so don't worry if she'll be upset about you not calling either if you decide not to. But if you're unsure, just text her. Good luck!
2007-01-12 14:58:43 · answer #2 · answered by meghanw1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really think it is best that you leave her alone now. If it wasn't meant to be why hang around together. The more you hang on the more you get hurt, both of you. She will realise in time that it was not the ideal relationship and hopefully you can both move past all the emotions that a break-up brings and come out of the other side a richer person, a lesson learnt. You feel guilty, I understand that and I thinnk part of you wanting to contact her is to ease your guilt. Thy to think of it from her side, it will not help at all. She maybe needs some alone and a chat with some close friends and she will survive, honestly she will. Good luck to you and you both still have a future, just not together.
2007-01-12 15:28:03 · answer #3 · answered by Andrea 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ring her and check she is ok. She may not answer,but at least you showed willing to see if she was ok. If you do speak to her and she can't be consoled then there isnot much you can do. You have explained the situation and been honest.....that is the most important thing. There is no point in being in a relationship where you are incompatible and one of you is or both are unhappy !! It may have been wiser to end it sooner rather than wait the 4 months.... to some 4 months is a long time. She will get over you in time.....it may take a while...but she will.
2007-01-12 14:59:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see where you are coming from that you don't want her to get the wrong idea if you do call...however it is a nice gesture to do so. Plus it shows you do care about her well being, you do feel bad that you hurt her, you just didn't want to be romantically involved with her.
It wasn't too long of a relationship, but you obviusly care for her atleast as a friend, and I think she would appreciate your call. Don't have a long conversation right now because she's probably still upset, but I would call and say Hey, just wanted to make sure you got home safely
your a nice guy for doing that
2007-01-12 14:57:36 · answer #5 · answered by Katie 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Call and leave a massage that you are sorry, but the break up is final. tell her that you hope she got home OK, and let her know that she can leave you a massage back about her safe arrival. It might be better to leave her alone right now and avoid all contact, she is very upset and talking with her right now will do more harm, she probably does not think well of you anyway at the moment with or without you calling to see if she got home fine. If I were you, I would just let her be for now.
2007-01-12 14:57:20 · answer #6 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you call her this could send out the wrong signs to her and she may think that you want to get back together.
If you are concerned about her being on her own you could call one of her friends or family and suggest that they pop around to see her to make sure that she is ok as you are concerned as a friend.
Breaking up is always hard on one party or another but at the end of the day getting back together because you feel guitly you could end up resenting each other as you are not together for love.
2007-01-12 15:03:00 · answer #7 · answered by Chani 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all I must say that staying together for 4 months seem to be quite a long time if you weren't happy. I'd wait to check on her. It's no fun to hurt someone, but if it were me, I'd just want to be left alone. Sounds like she really cares about you so any communication with her right now may hurt her. Do you know any of her friends that you could call to check up on her?
2007-01-12 16:28:09 · answer #8 · answered by Ree 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly you have done her and yourself a favour by ending the realtionship as soon as you realised that it was goin nowhere.This way you've even given her a chance to move on and have some one who has more similarities with her.All break ups are painfull, but make sure you give a her a good comfort closure... you've done the right thing because relationships cannot be one sided.
2007-01-12 14:58:43 · answer #9 · answered by spin spin sunshine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
call if you feel you have to know how she got home....but i must say it feels kind of patronising to hear from someone who just dumped you asking whether you got home safe....i know i would take that as a good thing because it would show that you actually cared about me, even if we were no longer together......if you know your ex well and you know that she would appreciate you calling or texting her..then do it..if you think she'll get the wrong idea then don't bother....she probably doesn't want to hear from you so soon,she's most likely in denial,so don't make it worse by making her feel like she needs you....maybe you should just follow your instinct....good luck
2007-01-12 15:18:37 · answer #10 · answered by maverick 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋